Feel useless.. may be triggering..?

Former Member · November 2013

Going to do some more moaning now..

I hardly slept again, was wide awake at half past two! my back is killing and not too sure when I'm allowed more painkillers. I can't keep track of when I've taken them as I'm taking so many! Yes any sensible person would set an alarm each time but my messed up head forgets to do that every time. I'm just here being useless.. been thinking about a lot and seriously why am I here? I have no job, not doing art at college or anything, can't keep my friends safe, my love life is a disaster and actually I never want a boyfriend again. People seem to abuse me in any way they can so I'm waiting for something else to happen because I'm not doubting that something will. I'm not a nice person. I could go on but starting to cry so I'm going to stop now.

Former Member · November 2013

So tired but I'm cold and I'm hurting and my pillows are really annoying me and I want to hit the wall and AHH!!!! Think I should try some mindful breathing.. yeah I think I will.. going to turn my phone off so I'm not tempted to come on here and moan and will just focus on my breathing..

Former Member · November 2013

Hi Butterfly.

Did you manage to get some sleep in the end?

purple_rain

Former Member · November 2013

I did thank you.. I did some mindful breathing and turned off my light and eventually dozed off.. Wasn't straight away but at least I did get to sleep.

Former Member · November 2013

I feel so horrible tonight! I keep having the overwhelming urge to cry and it's so hard to hold in

Former Member · November 2013

Absolutely fuming! Just had a text so I replied asking who it was but they sent a really arsey reply and it turns out it's my ex! What, he thinks I've got no way to find out!? Prick! I feel like really telling him what an arse he is! But I don't want to stoop to his level so I am going to try and ignore him. But I'm so angry so this is going to be hard! Does he actually have nothing better to do!? Maybe FOCUS ON HIS KIDS!!!!!!

Former Member · December 2013

I feel like I'm so horrible. Is this why all that stuff happened from when I was 12? Is this why my ex was horrible to me? Is this why my life is just so crap? Because I'm horrible, and I deserve it? Fuck it all!

Former Member · December 2013

Woke up feeling really hungry, but a little iffy, and my back hurts. I don't think I should take pain killers if I feel hungry and iffy but I'm going to. I'm not going to eat anything.

To top it off, I feel like crap

Former Member · December 2013

Uhhhhhhh :crying:

Former Member · December 2013

Need to rant before I go to sleep. Need to get it all out.

Fuck my stupid, messed up, dumb, annoying head! I don't know if it upsets me more, or angers me more. Saying that, I just feel so sad

maybe because I'm tired, and angry, and dumb. Ahhhh! I can't even explain things properly and its so.. crap! I'm old enough, I should know how to explain simple things! I don't even know what to say.. I'm just rambling and it's just making me angry.. I'm just sad.. I'm going to go to sleep.. try, anyway.. I feel so drained.

Former Member · December 2013

Awake after a rubbish sleep, my back is really hurting, I feel a little iffy. I thought I would wake up today feeling a little more positive but I don't

Former Member · December 2013

I feel iffy, I'm too hot, my back is hurting but I feel like pain killers will just make me puke, all of this is making my mood worse. Being poorly sucks

Former Member · December 2013

Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCKKKK!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Feel useless.. may be triggering..?

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