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I hardly slept again, was wide awake at half past two! my back is killing and not too sure when I'm allowed more painkillers. I can't keep track of when I've taken them as I'm taking so many! Yes any sensible person would set an alarm each time but my messed up head forgets to do that every time. I'm just here being useless.. been thinking about a lot and seriously why am I here? I have no job, not doing art at college or anything, can't keep my friends safe, my love life is a disaster and actually I never want a boyfriend again. People seem to abuse me in any way they can so I'm waiting for something else to happen because I'm not doubting that something will. I'm not a nice person. I could go on but starting to cry so I'm going to stop now.
Did you manage to get some sleep in the end?
purple_rain
To top it off, I feel like crap
Fuck my stupid, messed up, dumb, annoying head! I don't know if it upsets me more, or angers me more. Saying that, I just feel so sad maybe because I'm tired, and angry, and dumb. Ahhhh! I can't even explain things properly and its so.. crap! I'm old enough, I should know how to explain simple things! I don't even know what to say.. I'm just rambling and it's just making me angry.. I'm just sad.. I'm going to go to sleep.. try, anyway.. I feel so drained.