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I hear you, it's the 'doing it' bit that is the hardest. what is it that you need to do, and what would make it easier for you?
In regards to thinking patterns etc, I can often feel myself going down the wrong route, and know that there is often a less negative, more realistic option, but I let myself think the thing that is most damaging. Does that make sense?
But anyway, this weekend has been surprisingly good. I just wish it could last as well as make up for all the bad times.
I like being in a relationship, I enjoy having someone to share good times with. But a lot of my disordered thinking is related to relationships or at least becomes more apparent when I'm with someone. I now have had two people leave me because of my mental health. I don't want to be alone, but clearly I'm too much for anyone
Looking back, I'm starting to think that I should have dropped the whole looking for relationship things sooner, concentrated on getting me reasonably settled and then thought about the relationship thing.
Eventually got there now though.
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" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Sorry to hear you're feeling so low tonight *hugs*
I know we always say it, but the Samaritans really are good at times like this - being a friendly (and non-judgemental) voice on the phone is exactly what they do best. Try and call them, it might help - tel: 08457 90 90 90
Take care
The two are related, but not in the way you think.
If you're desperate to be in a relationship you'll often either attract users or people who are also desperate to be in a relationship, and therefore have their own issues. Essentially if you're desperate to be in a relationship you'll often end up in a situation where the person you are with is really not ideal for you; either they have no intention of sticking around, or their own issues mean that they're not capable of it.
Ex-ex definitely falls into the latter category. To say the guy was fucked up is an understatement. If you're honest with yourself, you probably struggled to find the energy to look after you as well as him. The distraction of caring for someone else does help, at least for a while, but you need to look after yourself. As for the most recent ex, I suspect a combination of a lack of will and a lack of health.
You need to focus on yourself. A relationship isn't going to magic your difficulties away, much as it feels like it would.
I saw your missed call at 7.30 this morning. Turns out Westfield doesn't have any phone signal.
Still quite bad. Went to see GP, asked for diazepam. Got 5 days worth. (£7.85 for 5 tablets :crazyeyes) Didn't want to give me anymore because of OD risk. Wants me to speak to him again on Tuesday.
This is a side note, but if you get small numbers of tablets on prescription regularly, a pre-paid card is very well worth it!
I think I did something positive today. I had a crap morning seeing the GP etc, went to placement this afternoon but got told to go home (nothing wrong with me - just because it was sunny). So drove 2 hours to go and see a friend, and just driven 2 hours back. It meant I didn't spend my whole evening getting worked up
I'm sorry I'm not being much use - work is a little hectic. Keep enjoying the sunshine.
That happened to me too. Tis stupid how you have to pay full price. But our safety is their main prioty hope your okay.
Great news on the going to see your friend. Really positive
Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
Dp
I told another friend about how I was feeling. My mental health came up with him about 18 months ago when I took some time off uni, so it wasn't completely new. I decided that just because the people I've tried to talk to don't really want to be supportive... (It's a shame, my housemates/friends are just like "oh that's nice" - move on) doesn't mean I don't have anyone.
He said "we are all with you, and we'll get through this". Nearly cried.....
Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
xx
For the record, I think that's completely false.
What I was trying to get at, and I may well fail again, is that somehow need to find ways of getting through the bits where you're feeling really bad and not up for doing stuff with other people that's not making plans. It seems like being around other people is your distraction method for when things are bad - which is a great tactic, but seems slightly that if you're not feeling like you can do that then that's you out of alternative distractions.
Hugs.
I know this post sounds really pathetic but I really felt paranoid and targeted. I think it's lucky I didn't drink. I don't understand why some men think they can behave in this way - I don't want anyone to touch me like that; I don't want my body to just be 'up for grabs'. Grrr. And then to top it all off, was approached by a couple of nice guys in the next club but by this point my confidence was pretty shattered.
Ex 1. Things have been going well over the last few months. Met up once, and just have generally been keeping in touch which has been nice. But now, he seems to hate me again and wants nothing to do with me. I can't handle the up and downess, and I know it's my fault.
Ex 2. Haven't seen him in person since before we broke up. Keeps saying he wants to be civil etc, but is so cold and angry towards me and I just want to know what I've done wrong because I feel like I'm being punished.
This is all self inflicted, not expecting any sympathy, don't worry.
Had a GP ranting at me and how I wasn't 'well enough' to be doing what I'm doing, and to think of patients etc. I tried to discuss it with him, but he kept on, so I walked out. All I wanted was a prescription of meds to last me over summer
So on edge right now. No one is on my side, no one believes in me.