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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't be silly omghi, I hope you had a lovely holiday :) but thank you :heart: It is really nice to feel so understood. I wish I didn't feel things so deeply, I wish the bad feelings didn't linger and I wish I could bounce back. From some reading, I think I understand where my problems lie, and I know the theory of what I should do for some of them. But I can't get from the 'being aware' stage to the 'doing something about it' stage. And that's what I really want help with, I feel like I need someone to start me off.

    I hear you, it's the 'doing it' bit that is the hardest. what is it that you need to do, and what would make it easier for you?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm. I know that when I'm getting in a bit of a state I should stop doing whatever I'm doing, take myself out of the situation and do something that could make me feel better. But I don't.

    In regards to thinking patterns etc, I can often feel myself going down the wrong route, and know that there is often a less negative, more realistic option, but I let myself think the thing that is most damaging. Does that make sense?

    But anyway, this weekend has been surprisingly good. I just wish it could last as well as make up for all the bad times.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm also in a dilemma.

    I like being in a relationship, I enjoy having someone to share good times with. But a lot of my disordered thinking is related to relationships or at least becomes more apparent when I'm with someone. I now have had two people leave me because of my mental health. I don't want to be alone, but clearly I'm too much for anyone :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad to hear you've had a good weekend.

    Looking back, I'm starting to think that I should have dropped the whole looking for relationship things sooner, concentrated on getting me reasonably settled and then thought about the relationship thing.

    Eventually got there now though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think I'll make it through this evening. Tried to be good and do something about it - asked housemates if they wanted to do anything - they said no. Tried calling a few friends. No answer from any of them.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,428 Part of The Furniture
    You can get through this. Chat to us. Please take care :-)

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just wanted to hear a friendly voice at the end of the phone :( or feel like I'm worth something if someone wanted to spend time with me.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,428 Part of The Furniture
    Yeah I understand. I wish I knew what to say. Sorry.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I just wanted to hear a friendly voice at the end of the phone :( or feel like I'm worth something if someone wanted to spend time with me.

    Sorry to hear you're feeling so low tonight *hugs*

    I know we always say it, but the Samaritans really are good at times like this - being a friendly (and non-judgemental) voice on the phone is exactly what they do best. Try and call them, it might help - tel: 08457 90 90 90

    Take care :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know, but I don't have anything to talk about.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You might be surprised... you said that you wanted to talk to someone and hear a friendly voice so once you have that it might be easier. You can do it *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm also in a dilemma.

    I like being in a relationship, I enjoy having someone to share good times with. But a lot of my disordered thinking is related to relationships or at least becomes more apparent when I'm with someone. I now have had two people leave me because of my mental health. I don't want to be alone, but clearly I'm too much for anyone :(

    The two are related, but not in the way you think.

    If you're desperate to be in a relationship you'll often either attract users or people who are also desperate to be in a relationship, and therefore have their own issues. Essentially if you're desperate to be in a relationship you'll often end up in a situation where the person you are with is really not ideal for you; either they have no intention of sticking around, or their own issues mean that they're not capable of it.

    Ex-ex definitely falls into the latter category. To say the guy was fucked up is an understatement. If you're honest with yourself, you probably struggled to find the energy to look after you as well as him. The distraction of caring for someone else does help, at least for a while, but you need to look after yourself. As for the most recent ex, I suspect a combination of a lack of will and a lack of health.

    You need to focus on yourself. A relationship isn't going to magic your difficulties away, much as it feels like it would.

    I saw your missed call at 7.30 this morning. Turns out Westfield doesn't have any phone signal.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm not desperate to be with anyone - I just don't want to be alone for the rest of my life because of my problems.

    Still quite bad. Went to see GP, asked for diazepam. Got 5 days worth. (£7.85 for 5 tablets :crazyeyes) Didn't want to give me anymore because of OD risk. Wants me to speak to him again on Tuesday.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Still quite bad. Went to see GP, asked for diazepam. Got 5 days worth. (£7.85 for 5 tablets :crazyeyes) Didn't want to give me anymore because of OD risk. Wants me to speak to him again on Tuesday.

    This is a side note, but if you get small numbers of tablets on prescription regularly, a pre-paid card is very well worth it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm I really should Picc!

    I think I did something positive today. I had a crap morning seeing the GP etc, went to placement this afternoon but got told to go home (nothing wrong with me - just because it was sunny). So drove 2 hours to go and see a friend, and just driven 2 hours back. It meant I didn't spend my whole evening getting worked up :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yay. Well done you.

    I'm sorry I'm not being much use - work is a little hectic. Keep enjoying the sunshine.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,428 Part of The Furniture
    I'm not desperate to be with anyone - I just don't want to be alone for the rest of my life because of my problems.

    Still quite bad. Went to see GP, asked for diazepam. Got 5 days worth. (£7.85 for 5 tablets :crazyeyes) Didn't want to give me anymore because of OD risk. Wants me to speak to him again on Tuesday.

    That happened to me too. Tis stupid how you have to pay full price. But our safety is their main prioty :) hope your okay.
    Great news on the going to see your friend. Really positive :)

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cancelled my plans for tonight. Now making new, bad plans.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey yellowseahorse hope you're ok tonight *hug* what made you cancel your plans?

    Dp :heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm better today, I cancelled my plans just because I felt so bad.

    I told another friend about how I was feeling. My mental health came up with him about 18 months ago when I took some time off uni, so it wasn't completely new. I decided that just because the people I've tried to talk to don't really want to be supportive... (It's a shame, my housemates/friends are just like "oh that's nice" - move on) doesn't mean I don't have anyone.

    He said "we are all with you, and we'll get through this". Nearly cried..... :heart:
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,428 Part of The Furniture
    Glad your okay. I secretly think the abba singalong in chat helped :-)


    Sent from my GT-S5830 using Tapatalk 2
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad to hear it. Try to remember, and I know it can be really hard, that there's a really wide scope between being perfectly brilliantly dazzlingly american teen movie happy, and massively awful. Life swings around the range, and it's perfectly reasonable to want some time to yourself at times. We just need to try and break the connection that seems to be starting to build in your mind that the options are being a social butterfly, or making bad plans.

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We just need to try and break the connection that seems to be starting to build in your mind that the options are being a social butterfly, or making bad plans.

    For the record, I think that's completely false.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Clearly I failed at articulating that point despite best efforts.

    What I was trying to get at, and I may well fail again, is that somehow need to find ways of getting through the bits where you're feeling really bad and not up for doing stuff with other people that's not making plans. It seems like being around other people is your distraction method for when things are bad - which is a great tactic, but seems slightly that if you're not feeling like you can do that then that's you out of alternative distractions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Currently in a club toilet - being touched up so many times just trying to stop crying. Why am I the one attracting all of these guys - why aren't they going for any of my friends. I feel like everyone's out to get me :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rubbish. Smart plan to hide in be toilets, they definitely have their uses.

    Hugs.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My (girl) friends made me a bit sad last night - kept telling me to just brush it off or stare at whoever was doing it. But I didn't know who was :( And I asked them how many times they had their bums squeezed and it was like 3. Whereas I got groped enough for me to start counting and it was nearer to 20. Got approached by about 6 weirdos too. Luckily my guy friends started stepping in (I think I had 3 different 'boyfriends' over the night).

    I know this post sounds really pathetic but I really felt paranoid and targeted. I think it's lucky I didn't drink. I don't understand why some men think they can behave in this way - I don't want anyone to touch me like that; I don't want my body to just be 'up for grabs'. Grrr. And then to top it all off, was approached by a couple of nice guys in the next club but by this point my confidence was pretty shattered.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wish I was strong enough not to talk to exs. It just fucks me up.

    Ex 1. Things have been going well over the last few months. Met up once, and just have generally been keeping in touch which has been nice. But now, he seems to hate me again and wants nothing to do with me. I can't handle the up and downess, and I know it's my fault.

    Ex 2. Haven't seen him in person since before we broke up. Keeps saying he wants to be civil etc, but is so cold and angry towards me and I just want to know what I've done wrong because I feel like I'm being punished.

    This is all self inflicted, not expecting any sympathy, don't worry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I really do think you need to cut contact with your exes. It's not doing you any good. Think of it as trimming the mold off the cheddar. Remember it's rare people actually are on good terms with an ex, at best they often don't speak at all unless they have to. Cut your losses, you don't need them in your life *hug*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Man I'm going to be in so much trouble.

    Had a GP ranting at me and how I wasn't 'well enough' to be doing what I'm doing, and to think of patients etc. I tried to discuss it with him, but he kept on, so I walked out. All I wanted was a prescription of meds to last me over summer :(

    So on edge right now. No one is on my side, no one believes in me.
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