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Today
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
It's Isla's second birthday today. Would have been. I don't want to get out of bed. I want to hurt myself. What would she sound like? What would she look like? I miss her smile and giggle.
Impossible.
Impossible.
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Comments
Please be aware of the signs and symptoms
you know where I am if you need to talk, anytime at all. you're not on your own.
*hug*
I'm trying to keep busy, sort of working but I feel very disconnected from everything. I blame myself.
Be kind to yourself...It's not your fault
Loads and loads of hugs, here if you need anything, we all love you
Big hugs. Go easy on yourself, sounds like you had a good plan for light distraction and also going easy on yourself.
This. Hugs Ella, thoughts are with you today.
Spanner x
(And thanks for the link - I've just had a look and found it very useful )
Meningitis acts so quickly you couldn't have known hun. It starts like a little cold, and no parent can honestly say that they'd rush their child to the doctors or hospital for having a cold. It was not your fault at all
How are you doing today?
I once went to a really good talk about meningitis, and the summary was that it's pretty much random for kids. It hits them so fast that it reach the point where nothing will make any difference. You can't treat every kid with cold symptoms as having meningitis because the world would ground to a halt.
Nothing we can stay will stop you hurting, but hopefully might be a tiny bit of reassurance that really you couldn't have done anything different.
xx
"Happy birthday to my bastard niece. She will be rotting in hell. One day you will too"
:crying:
You don't need people like that in your life at this moment.
Remember, your little girl was loved so much for the short time she was on this earth - and you gave her that special experience.
Oh honey. That is disgusting. Please don't pay any attention to him.
We're all thinking of you. Both of you. She would never be ashamed of you. Ever. X
What phone have you got now? If you have a smartphone then you can download an app and you can block numbers from texting you. I find it veerryyy useful. Remember hun, he's worthless, he didn't even know her birthday for fuck sake. I know it's hard but you have to ignore him, he's trying to provoke you and make you do something silly and you are stronger than that.
I'm really struggling with bad thoughts.
Have you spoken to your provider? They might be able to help c
I would have thought so. Provider can certainly tell you for certain. Also they could help you change your number if it's not possible as Indrid suggests. Personally, I think it's what I'd do. Your brother sounds like an appalling person, you don't need that.