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And i haven't posted much because i don't know what to say.
Yes i think that another time i will use the chat again maybe next week.
Now i am going to sleep because tomorrow it's an early morning for me to wake up to and i'm really tired.
Thanks again Claire for chatting with me
I'm glad that you are feeling better now. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to. I'm not good at the advice part and stuff like that i don't thing that i'm good at anything anyway i will try my best to help you.
Thank you lovely.
Take care. Night x
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Well like i said before i am texting Appogg and today i recieved a email and he told me that if i wanted to i could send him my mobile number and let him know when he can call me also he told me to make a appointment if i wish. He told me that it is the best option.
So i want to go but i don't(does that even make sense
It's a little far from my home and i have some problems:
1-going alone
2-I don't drive so i taught about ask my sister to drive me there she's the one that used to be my best friend. But if i tell her to drive me i have to tell her why and i don't know if she agree to take me, if she doesn't than she know where i am going and start asking questions.
3-The bus. I don't know how the bus routes works because i really hate taking a bus.Because in 18 years i never went anywhere.All i did was stay in my small city.And most of the time at my parents house or my grandma. I know i'm boring,stupid and every other words like that. It's the first time that i am telling that about me because when i'm with people (that's very rare) and they start asking questions i never tell them that i never went anywhere and that i lock myself in the house.If i do no one even talk to me again because they would think that i'm boring or something.It's already worse enough
4-take a taxi.That is crossing my mind.
I know that i'm boring when i'm talking with people and i'm stupid and some of you may think that i'm boring and that i'm useless because i don't post much but the reason is that most of the times i don't know what to say so i don't post because if i post and i say something that i shouldn't than that will make me even worse.:(
This is my favourite song.
There's no point in living.
You're not alone, we are all here for you, as a community. I know you probably feel alone, and that's normal but you can always use the boards. Support chat is on tonight 7-9, here's the link
It could help you feel less alone, having us to talk to.
Keep posting, and if you ever want to talk you can PM me
I want to vanish..
I want to get better but i'm really scared to go.
What are you most worried about, or scared about? You also said you are confused, can I ask why? *hug*'s!
I guess i'm confused because i don't really know how this is going to work and what i'm going to do, if i say yes or no.
Like Angel said, it is really scary to start opening up to a stranger. You don't know what they are going to ask you or how you'll react. But that's ok - you wouldn't be normal if you weren't nervous about it!
Like others have said, you've already come so far. Have you read this thread back from the start? If you haven't then you should because you'll see what brave steps you've already taken. With a little more effort you can go further and start getting help and support.
Try to break it down into steps. Write down everything you've got to do to get to your appointment. For example:
1. Call Appogg back and arrange the meeting
2. Look up the location on a map
3. Work out the public transport route
4. Plan what time to leave
5. Buy any tickets in advance for travel if possible
etc etc... try to be as organised as you can so that you have as little to panic about on the day as possible. Do you have a friend or someone else you could ask to go along with you? If so, that might help to calm your nerves about getting there.
As you're in Malta I'm sure things will be a little different to here in the UK, also I'm not sure if you're seeing a GP or a counsellor but you might find some of the information in the articles useful in terms of what to expect:
What will happen when I start counselling?
How can I open up to my counsellor?
The other thing I wanted to suggest was trying to visualise how you will feel if you don't go along to the appointment. Then try and visualise how you will feel if you do. Regardless of how the actual appointment goes, I bet you'd still be proud of yourself for overcoming your nerves and your fears and going along.
Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
Spanner
Well I will check the articles I really need them.
No I have no one to go with me, I don't really have any friends
Just thought i would see how your getting on. It seems like people have offered you lots of good advice on this thread.
Hope you are okay lovely. *hugs*
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