If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Unwanted Feelings
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I think I'm falling for somebody I feel I shouldn't like in that way. I do know that it won't ever happen and that makes me a bit sad, but I also don't like the fact I like this person more than a friend.
How can I switch off these feelings?
How can I switch off these feelings?
0
Comments
The rest doesn't work, at least not for me.
Yes, I am telling myself that too all the time, because I am falling for my female friends quite frequently. Saying myself, "you can do it matt, you stand above your feelings." Yes, I have yet to make this work. Penis beats willpower every time. Just distance yourself a bit, maybe the contact will thin out by itself. If you are that good friends that he/she will notice you are withdrawing you can't really get around to have a talk, maybe it even turns out in your favor? Who knows, wouldn't be the first relationship started this way.
But one thing I can tell you with almost certainty. If you stay in regular contact, you will suffer, and you won't most probably get over him/her. It might actually blind yourself for other potential people, because you focus yourself so much on this person.
Thanks.
I think you will naturally realize how and what you have to do. I am convinced of my advice, yet I have troubles following it myself. It still ends up the same tho, I decrease/break off contact. Does not work any other way, imho.
Out of interest Butterfly why won't it ever happen? Am not saying there isn't a good reason but you didn't mention what it was.....
She's my best friend, also a girl.
I don't think I'm attracted to both genders, it's just her.
It could be some kind of confusion on your part, that you feel attracted to her as an attractive human being, regardless of gender. Maybe this all sorts itself out and you can be friends again soon, without any trouble inbetween.
:yes:
A lot of my female friends (who have exclusively straight relationships) talk of falling for a close friend like that. Most say that it was a one off and/or about difficulty distinguishing between close friendship and sexual attraction.
Personally, I think most close friendships can contain an element of attraction. Even my friendships with my gay male friends can be a bit like that. It tends to come and go.
Having said all that, if it's tearing you apart you need to put a bit of space between you and her. It will settle naturally.
(To help unpick all that confusing stuff, I'm an almost-completely-gay woman.)
It is quite hard..
how do I know if I'm also attracted to women?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
It's not too unusual.
Basically if you ever had thoughts about kissing a girl and you liked it, you are not a zero anymore. Doesn't really answer your question, but don't think there is just one, the other, or the exact middle (bisexuality). If you are slightly attracted to girls, I can imagine that feeling understood and having a great friend in a person of the same sex makes it easier to have feelings developing for that person.