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It just hurts a lot still. He promised me that day that he loved me and he wouldn't cheat and yet he did, it makes me feel like that whole year was for nothing, and that he never cared for me at all.
I'm so glad I changed my number.
When I met up with him it just made me miss him more... :no:
It is the most horrible feeling isn’t it. I went through that with my ex. I thought everything was fine, we hadn’t been seeing each other as much as usual for a few weeks but that wasn’t surprising. I had exams coming up that I had to study for and my mum had just gone in to hospital
Like you, I was completely devastated. We had been together for over 2 years, I gave him everything, I trusted him completely and he betrayed me. I felt like he had taken my heart, wrenched it out of my chest, and torn it up in to tiny little pieces and then put it through a blender. It made me doubt everything, had he ever really loved me? Was he just with me so he wouldn’t be alone? Had he just been using me for sex for the last two years? I didn’t do anything for days, I just sat on my bedroom floor crying. It took me soo long to get over the initial shock. None of my friends at that point had ever been in serious relationships; they just didn’t get why I was so upset. And I hadn’t discovered thesite yet, I felt like there was no one I could talk to and I think that made it harder so it’s good that you can talk about it here. Don’t rush yourself. It took me a good year and a half before I could completely say that I was over him. I think you need to let yourself grieve the relationship for a while instead of trying to push yourself to get past it, everyone gets over these things at different speeds. It’s not going to be easy but it will happen eventually.
*hug*
It's hard to let myself grieve, because I just feel like, he got over it fine - so why can't I? I feel like you did! And it's so hard to understand how he could do it to me? He was always so insecure that I'd cheat on him, and he could articulate clearly why the idea of it scared him and how terrible he'd feel. And he knows I suffer from anxiety and stuff so how could he do something so horrific to me. He told me all the details, what positions they did and everything, and he said he didnt think about me at all.
The night before he did it we had sex twice, and that afternoon when I went round and he was getting ready for the party he tried it on, but I said no because I didn't trust him cos he said he didnt want me at the party cos he wasnt ready to explain to his friends we were back together. Thats when he promised.
I confronted her after and she told me that he'd been texting her inviting her to the party for ages, and that he told he'd been single for ages. And she was like 'and I've just asked him now and he still says he was single'. I'd changed my number to stop him contacting me by then, but I rung him from a withheld number and told I knew that he'd planned and he just shouted 'LEAVE ME ALONE!' and hung up.
Apparently he doesnt want to be with her, and they're just using each other for sex. Was that really worth destroying everything we had together, even if he wanted to break up, why hurt me so much?
How did you get over it? Did you ever find answers to all the questions it left you with?
IS IT JUST ME, OR HE DOESNT CARE, AT ALL?
I’m not sure what I did really. I missed him for ages, and I hated him at the same time. I think it was giving myself the chance to just forget about him for a while that really started the ball rolling for me. About 6 months later, I think, a group of my friends went on holiday together. When I was there, I felt like I could forget about the world back home. I ended up having a really cute summer romance with a lovely guy who was staying the same hotel as us and that really gave me back me confidence. I finally realised that it wasn’t the end of the world and that I was worth a hell of a lot more than how he had treated me.
After that realisation, it was just time I think. I didn’t really notice while it was happening. But it slowly became less important, I thought about it less and less. It still feels like a punch in the gut whenever I see him. But I think that’s the same for anyone who had a bad break up isn’t it.
It took a while but I’m over him. But I’m not sure that I’m over what he did, if that makes sense. I don’t care about him anymore. What he does or doesn’t do has no effect on me now, it’s not until I read something like this that he pops in to my head at all. But the effects of what he did are still with me. I find it a lot harder to trust people and get close to people now. And I’ve developed a dependant personality too. So I’ve not exactly come out of it in one piece. I think the hardest thing for me was the shock of how sudden it was. Literally one day everything was fine and then by the next day it was over and I never heard from him again. Unfortunately no, I never got the answers to the questions that he had left me with. I kind of gave up on ever figuring out his reasons. If I ever got the opportunity, I’m not sure that I would want to know now. Really, I don’t think it would have helped me at the time either, whatever the answer it would have had some kind of negative effect.
Sorry I know most of this post was just me rambling on. I never know how to stop writing once I’ve started lol. I think the best thing you could do now is just stay away from him. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem like he cares that much about you. If he did he wouldn’t be doing things like this. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that he never did.
Again sorry for the ramble. Hope some of this helps. *hug*
I got the full story of how he ended up with that girl that night from my bestfriend. He rung his mates girlfriend who was at a girly halloween party and asked to speak to any single girls. And she was the only one who was up for it and they swapped numbers. Then she went round there and apparently he temporarily decided he didnt want to do it because he wanted to make things work with me, but then just before everyone left the party he shagged her anyway. And then she left with everyone else.
It all just sounds so GRIMY. I'm not that person at all, and I'm so grossed out that all along, he's been hiding this really sleeeeeazy side! While they were acting out this whole crazy scenario, I was sharing a bottle of wine with 2 really good girl mates. It's rough to think like that....
I feel like that! I miss him SO much, and I keep replying the happy times in my head like a montage... but the thought of seeing his face, or hearing his voice just makes me sick!!
Dixie.
but i cant be bothered to chase him up to sort that out so im just gonna leave it a little while... im moving cities this weekend, reckon that'll help?
ive heard running away from your problems doesnt work because they just follow you. but what if your problem is just a person, surely a few hundred miles between them and everyone they know should do some good? :chin:
Just think, if you call him, youre going to end up right back at square one. And then have to go through all that pain and suffering again. He isnt worth it.
good luck xx
I don't get this?
Gonna go delete his number now. xx
Thanks! Done it!