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The number one rule when feeling depressed is not to make any big decisions, because you don't have and objective mind. At the moment it must feel as though the future of your relationship is far beyond your control and the present is just too much to deal with. When I feel like that my most basic instinct is to just bail, but you have to remember that how you are feeling now is finite.
For better or worse you will see the end of this difficult time in your marriage. When that happens you will want to know that you tried your very hardest, which I think you are doing. You are conscientious and caring and empathetic, and I'm sure your wife doesn't take that for granted.
If you are open with your wife you can work through this together. Remember that a second child is always more that twice the work. Remember that how you are feeling -no matter how scary- is normal, and remember that how your wife is feeling is normal too. And don't ever forget that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. *hug*
Thank you, I've acutally started a new thread due to some other things, I think my shifts play a lot into our life as well, for example I do not get home till 11pm for the next 5shifts, tonight I finished at 11, last night 10.30, you can get the gist of it... but thanks once again everyone.
Update in the morning..
Is lolz reading it a good thing or not?
It's.strange, but i am kinda happy this problem occured, it has confirmed my love for my wife so much more.. I think it is a good thing, its never been about a problem with her,more the situation.