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Help..someone plz help.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ok, never been gd at tellin people things but here goes...
Im really confused and scared because someone in my family touched me inappopriatly and now i dont know wht to do. I dont know if its my fault and maybe i brought it on myself but i really dont know wht do. Sometimes i just wnt to fall asleep and hope tht i wont wake up. Im really scared and i need someone to tell me wht to do. Can anyone help?
Im really confused and scared because someone in my family touched me inappopriatly and now i dont know wht to do. I dont know if its my fault and maybe i brought it on myself but i really dont know wht do. Sometimes i just wnt to fall asleep and hope tht i wont wake up. Im really scared and i need someone to tell me wht to do. Can anyone help?
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Comments
whatever events or conversations led up to this, you did not bring it on yourself or deserve it. the person who did this to you did something unforgivable, and you must be hurting so badly. i think you're being really brave to come and ask for help.
have you told anyone else about what happened? i can understand not wanting to tell a family member but do you have any older friends or anyone at school or college you could talk to? maybe a teacher you trust? it's really important that you don't keep this to yourself, you need people's support.
make sure you express how you are feeling in some way, whether that be by writing poetry or a diary or drawing or singing or anything like that. don't keep it all pent up inside. what are you scared of? is it the fear of it happening again, or the fear of someone finding out?
Childline are a really good organisation, they are freephone and if you ring off your house phone the number won't be shown on the bill, so you don't need to worry about your parents knowing you have called. they have lots of contacts too who they can suggest. there's also the Samaritans who you can call or email if you need someone to talk to.
i really hope you manage to tell someone what has happened sweetheart, you've been so brave to tell us. you don't have to get through it alone.
take care x
It is 3million percent not your fault. As "lea uk"said it is the person who did it to yous fault.
But you have to find someone who you can tell and can do something about it, even if the person you tell just listens you have to find someone. It will help.
But please don't even think it was your fault.
Lets us know how your getting on.
*Hugs*
Hi Emma93,
Sorry to hear that youve had this experience and thank you for feeling you could share this with the forum. Like lea_uk and omg hi have suggested are there any adults you could speak to about this?such as a teacher or family member.
Organisations such as Childline and the NSPCC are trained to help with the issues youve brought up. You know where we are if you want to share again. keep posting,:yes:
Thnkx anyway..x:)
I know you all say tht it wasnt my fault but i did tell a friend and they told me tht it could be my fault cause of the way i am. I reall didnt understand it but maybe it is true.
We have all these lessons in PSE tellin us how bad it is to hide abuse but until it is actually you then you really dont understand. Im basicaly stuck between a rock and a hard place! If i tell then people find out and things will change in my family and i could be taken away, but if i dont tell then i have to live with it but then life can go on as normal for everyone else and it would only be me tht would hve to deal with it.
I dont know wht to do. Maybe my teacher is ryt, I am still a child and i do need someone to look out for me
Your friend is wrong if an adult inappropriately touched you it is ALWAYS the adults fault and never the childs.
Without knowing the circumstances of who touched you and how they are related to you its hard to say exactly what social services will do, but its likely that they will want to meet you and talk to you about what happened and if its appropriate meet with your parents and speak to them as well and then decide to take things from there - it is by no means guarenteed that they will immediately take you away unless they think that you are in immediate harm. If its a one off incident then its unlikely - if something awful is happening to you every day then they might considier intervention - but noone can make any promises about what will and won't happen to start with.
For starters you need to be speaking to someone else other than the teacher you've spoken to and your friend, as clearly neither are helping you deal with the situation. It certainly seems like they don't really know what would happen.
For starters the situation about where you live has nothing to do with the police, I'm hoping that might be a misunderstanding between what the teacher has said and how you're presenting it. It's an easy mistake to make but it should be a member of social services who works with child protection that would be able to help with any change in living conditions, and that wouldn't be something that would automatically happen.
Where someone is vulnerable to abuse the most important thing is your safety and your comfort. If, and only if, it wouldn't be safe to be where you are then the people involved in helping you deal with the situation could look for other relatives you could stay with in the short term or look to making sure that the person involved is no longer able to do this - rather than taking you away from your family.
The way you describe it makes it sound like the police would come and arrest you for something and that isn't the case. You're the one who needs help and to live in a better situation, you've not done anything wrong - and anything that has happened isn't your fault.
It's great to see you discussing the situation with a teacher but if that person isn't helping and is telling you things that scare you when you do try to talk about it, then it might be worth finding someone else to discuss the situation with.
It's really important to realise that being grown up doesn't mean being able to deal with everything by yourself, it can often mean exactly the opposite. Everyone needs help and support at times and the services out there are geared towards providing exactly that. By calling them you aren't causing problems, you're allowing them to do what they are there for.
So, as other people have mentioned, please consider calling Childline, 0800 11 11, or the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000.
If you don't feel you can call from home and don't have any credit on a mobile then there is a service called Get Connected. It's a freephone number, even on mobiles and can put you through to any helpine in the UK. Their number is 0808 808 4994.
I hope those numbers help Emma, they are confidential so you can speak to them initially to discuss the situation and maybe get what your options are explained better.
So, please consider calling and to reassure people reading this thread let us know how it goes when you call.
I'm sure we're all hoping you can get help you need to deal with this situation in a way that is comfortable for you and to make sure this doesn't happen again.
I know it's easier for someone like me to say, but if you've been sexually abused, you really can't let the abuser get away with it. For a start, if they feel they can get away with it once, they may try again. And who says this person will only target you and not anyone else they know who's either vunerable or in this persons trust?
I know making a complaint is scary and it'll cause a lot of controversey within your family but this isn't your fault. This person had no right abusing you and they must face the consequences.
And please, stop apologizing.
I phoned childline and they tlked to me about wht happened and i feel a lot better now. I understand tht i wasnt my fault, kinda, and now i can start to really get over it. I need to focus on my future so now i have started to concentrate on studyin for my exam (oh the joys:) ).
thnx for all the kind words:)
I'm assuming you live with the person. Is it just you or are there other family members living with you and this person?
It is definitely not your fault - please realise this, no matter what anyone tells you to make it seem like it is ok to hurt you.
I dont know wht to do anymore:crying:
I know i should stop feelin sorry for myself and i dont mean to cause there are alot more people out there with bigger problems than me.
I know the person who did this should be punished but i still feel tht i should protect them cause they are family.
Well done for trying to talk to childline. When I have rung in the past I found it helpful not to immediately say what was bothering me. I told the advisor that I had something important to say, but then asked them to just chat with me. That way I felt more at ease and the adviser knew something was wrong and could ask me questions to save me having to just come out with it myself.
Does anyone else know what this person is doing to you. If so could you have them there as support when you feel ready to ring childline again.
There is a very useful web resource http://there4me.co.uk/home/index.asp which allows you to talk to a childline counsellor 1-2-1 on live webchat or through private messaging. So this could be a way forward if you don't feel ready to talk to someone over the phone.
is it a parent?
I feel so angry all the time and i hate myself and i dont know wht to do anymore.
My apologies.
I feel so stupid and i cant be dealin with this right now because my exams are startin on thursday and thts me for five weeks. I really dont know wht to do. I know im rantin on so feel free to tell me to shut up btw.
It could be a great oppotunity for you to talk to someone about this, you really need to let someone know whats happening, you cant let this go on.....and just keep thinking its not your fault
I could try and go to my grans to stay but i have to be at my work for quarter past 5 in the mornin and my gran lives about 20 minutes away and i wouldnt be allowed to go cause my mum says she doesnt wnt me wlkin all tht way in the dark.
I will just need to grit my teeth and get on with it. If it happens again well thts life.
You saying all this as if being molestered is a stage of life that eveyone goes through, you cant act so causual about thing that is so serious. You need to reach out to someone that could help, just because this person is doing it to you, doesnt stop this person from doing it to another family member, ask for help, not only for yourself, but for others.
No it isnt and shouldnt be.
IF this person is your dad or brother, can you talk to your mum? Do you think sge would listen?