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The reason he's having hard time trusting her is because she lied about the ex. Every relationship is different but I for one, would not be happy for a gf of mine to be getting txts from the ex regardless of amount of time there were together, if it meant she has to lie to me about it.
Exs normally fuck up current relationships whether they mean to or not.
MrNiceguy - it's time like this when you just suck it up and take it or make a stand and have it out with her. I think you're going to suck it up and take it on chin, that's fair enough it's your call. But be warned you come across as too nice and you will get burnt.
Don't get me wrong. Yes i like to think of myself as nice but at the same time i would not accept a lot of things that others woud. I think i can be quite demanding in a relationship as i like to give and receive a lot of attention.
Yes she has lied and if she was caught out she would have been very close to the boot. In this case though i have more reason to let it lie for now. 1) i looked at her phone 2) I didn't see enough to say she is cheating 3) there was one that her ex said abut leaving some of her stuff off, which was good. 4) Its early days and if i put pressure she might just run a mile..............Thats me thinkin in a positve light.
Ok regards to the phone, i know it was bad but if you found your partner doing this what would you do?
If my boyfriend looked at my phone the relationship would be over. If I thought he was cheating with an ex I'd probably just ask him. I don't know the details of the situation so I don't know if she is likely to be cheating or if you're being insecure and paranoid (although there's no excuse for her lying).
Do you ever talk to her ex, or any of her friends? Does she ever talk to you about him? Maybe she just needs reassurence that you understand he was, and probably still is, a big part of her life. As harmless said, exes often do ruin relationships, and usually the whole thing is stupid and pointless, because you can't just stop caring about someone. Did you have any evidence that she was lying before you looked at her phone? If not, the problem is as much yours as it is hers.
You really need to talk to her, because either she is cheating or she's trying to protect you and is actually making it worse. Everyone is different when it comes to what they expect from a relationship, and what they just won't put up with. Some people don't want to know about their partner's contact with their ex and would rather be told a white lie than be given too much information. If you think lying is the worst thing she can do then you have to tell her, because even if you get through this without any problems if she doesn't know that she might lie about something she feels is insignificant, or just forget to tell you something and that will cause more problems.
I have give her plenty of opportunity to be straight with me. I have stressed to her that i would understand if she wants to stay friends with her ex. She said she would like to but doesn't think it will happen....Lie!.
I didn't have proof that she lied before i looked in her phone but then she slept with me before she finished with him so think im entiteled to be a bit paranoid. Also i had to look for a second time after seeing those msgs and seen that she had deleted all her sent box!. I think she is an intelligent girl who knows exactlty what she does. I have never met any of her friends or her ex as we live apart atm.
So i am being advised to talk it out then you say you would finish with your bf if he looked at your phone!? Is it really such a bad thing!??