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Ive fallen in love with someone I cant love
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
How do you cope when you have fallen in love with some one you know you cannot love?
The person I have fallen for is married, as am I (happily I must add) but she has done something to me which I haven?t experienced before. She just is amazing- you know when you see a beautiful lady (or male for you girls) and you cannot help but stare for what seems an eternity?; well that?s what it feels like for me. I cannot help but think of her- she has become the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep at night & my heart races with desire when I see her. I long to be with her but know I cant.
HELP
The person I have fallen for is married, as am I (happily I must add) but she has done something to me which I haven?t experienced before. She just is amazing- you know when you see a beautiful lady (or male for you girls) and you cannot help but stare for what seems an eternity?; well that?s what it feels like for me. I cannot help but think of her- she has become the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep at night & my heart races with desire when I see her. I long to be with her but know I cant.
HELP
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Comments
Sounds more like lust to me.
Can you not just avoid her? Might help.
Not an option
There isnt really much help we can give, its upto you and how you deal with it. If you stay as your are you will just go utterly crazy and thats not good for you. Get out there a find someone else, who is available.
But yes, i know, doing that is easier said then done.
Please dont start with the whole 'you cant be greedy, be happy with what you have got' as i have punished myself for the last 4 months with that.
I am amazingly happy at home & with my children. I wouldnt jepordise that.
But I am finding it hard to ignore my heart & I struggle to keep my emotions down when im with her.
Well, there is no other advice then. You should know that she cannot possibly be perfect. No one is. She probably farts in bed and then holds her husband's head under the blankets.
Whats wrong with that? It might be the perfect fart
I was just up in her office & I nearly did again!
Your lovely wife and children have got to be worth it. You will lose them if you cheat.
I think you should also consider going to marriage counselling
http://www.relate.org.uk/
Lust after her, instead.
Clearly your marriage and home life aren't as great as all that, or you wouldn't be looking twice at other women, let alone thinking you'd fallen in love with someone else. If you do just get a new job and walk away, you will waste a lot of the rest of your life wondering about what might have been.
Imho you need to do 2 things -
First, try to talk to this other woman and establish wether she has any feelings for you. If she does, then you've got a big decision to make. If she doesn't, then at least you'll have some closure and be able to move on.
Second, you need to think long and hard about your marriage, how much time and energy you need to put into falling in love with your wife again, and whether or not you want to - I think thats something you need to address, regardless of what happens with this other woman.
Be brave, and good luck.