If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Dating Etiquette?!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I met a lovely guy down the pub through a mate from ju jitsu class last week, we have loads of mutual interests and it seemed to make sense that we met up, and seeing as i seemed to be so far behind on episodes of house, he came over with his laptop so we could watch house.
that didn't last very long, we ended up tickling each other to distraction and ended up kissing for what seemed like a very long time...
anyway...he then said that he likes me, but he wants to get to know me better before sleeping with me...all fine by me! i've had enough of men that seem to hang around for one thing and one thing only. Plus, not only is he good looking but has a great personality and we could (and hopefully will) sit down for hours and chat about everything from TV and music to the string theory...
So, no problem...pretty straight forward? Errmmm not really! I've never really done whole dating thing, i'm used to having someone throw themselves at me, or doing likewise...
it feels ridiculous asking about dating etiquette when i'm 19 next week and have had good-the quality is always debateble- handful of partners/lovers. But i've never done this before, my relationships normally always start by being thrown head first into a passionate melting pot (which seems to quickly peater out or explode but anyway)...
what should i or shouldn't i do/say ect on the first couple of dates? any advice would be really good, as i seem to normally have a way of messing things up. i really want to give this one every chance to bloom into something more...
that didn't last very long, we ended up tickling each other to distraction and ended up kissing for what seemed like a very long time...
anyway...he then said that he likes me, but he wants to get to know me better before sleeping with me...all fine by me! i've had enough of men that seem to hang around for one thing and one thing only. Plus, not only is he good looking but has a great personality and we could (and hopefully will) sit down for hours and chat about everything from TV and music to the string theory...
So, no problem...pretty straight forward? Errmmm not really! I've never really done whole dating thing, i'm used to having someone throw themselves at me, or doing likewise...
it feels ridiculous asking about dating etiquette when i'm 19 next week and have had good-the quality is always debateble- handful of partners/lovers. But i've never done this before, my relationships normally always start by being thrown head first into a passionate melting pot (which seems to quickly peater out or explode but anyway)...
what should i or shouldn't i do/say ect on the first couple of dates? any advice would be really good, as i seem to normally have a way of messing things up. i really want to give this one every chance to bloom into something more...
0
Comments
going to see avenue Q...
As has been said, you're both going to be nervous and it's understandable, but if you see it as making a new friend rather than constantly thinking of what could be in the future it should be easier.
Show interest in him and his hobbies, ask questions about them so you understand and so on. If you find topics in common then share experiences of those topics and you should start to relax.
If you're comfortable with having the mick taken out of you a bit then I often find the once the initial hobby chat and so on is over then getting onto little embarrassing stories often from childhood is a great way to actually relax the atmosphere and get onto a more personal tone with the other person.
Most of all though just try and enjoy it and good luck.
Might be worth looking to see if you can find a nice indie cafe in Covent Garden to go to afterwards as a change from the noisy pubs? There is one on Monmouth St (I think) called Coffee, Cake and Kink but when my girlfriend tried to take me there for a first date I didn't know what to think! Depending on his tastes, might be a conversation point....
i'm getting so paranoid tho, when he doesn't text back, i wonder if i'm asking too much or if i've said the wrong thing...
i just asked for clarification on if we might be going tonight or tomorrow, cos i've got loads of stuff to sort out in order for me to go... but argh!
i waited all day and he didn't text...
i think i might call him just very casualy later to see if he's going down the pub later or not. I'll go reguardless cos i go with the ju jitsu guys, but its pissed me off a bit...
He's had really bad food poisoning all week, thus the lack of texts, but he sent me one yesterday along the lines of that he misses me and feels guilty for not seeing me and that he'll give me a second birthday next week...
i'm quite happy how it is now, but bloody wish there was something i could do to make him better!
God knows ive managed to forget to text people for days on end, with no malice intended.
He sounds like a lovely chap and sounds like you two are getting on famously well...keep us updated
He's better now, and i he came to see my gig today, couldn't stay for very long as he had to help a friend. he left a message during the gig saying that he would see me later on. I called him after an he said he'd call me in half an hour. He did, and then said to call him back cos he still didn't know what was happening. So i called him twice, and the second time he picked up and said that he was at a friend's house and wasn't coming (this is after he'd said in previous calls he felt guilty for not seeing me and such)...
This mega pissed me off, and i started thinking about a friend of mine that i'm kinda interested in. So to decide it, i sent them both a text saying, you know i like you, but i want to know if you really feel the same...
neither replied...
not only do i feel stupid, i feel really upset too...
the guy i'm meant to be seeing though did tell me to call him tomorrow evening to see if he was busy...but....argh!
Help!
i had a friend tell me i was being a bit of a bunnyboiler over it...i hate that word...
I think you do need to chill out a little and stop looking into things too much!
Don't be texting them/phoning them all the time let them get in touch with you. If it takes a few days don't worry about it, it doesn't mean they are avoiding you they could be busy etc.
I know it's hard not to think the worse but if you keep acting like this it will prob scare them off in the end!
Have to agree
to the op, what would you have done if they had BOTH replied sayin they liked you too...?
I do want one, and not just someone, but i got drunk last night and ended up texting the same thing partly under peer presure and drunkeness, and to see if i'd get a response from the guy i like. it was all very silly indeed...
and then had a go at me for giving him a dirty look....
i'm kinda upset now
:yes:
Actually, it seems like she goes for the first person that shows her any kind of interest, and then, indeed, goes a bit bunny boiler.
what a knobber, seriously who does that??
you really don't need that type of bloke, hope you're okay
he seemed quite nice at first, but obviously doesn't understand basic concepts of adult relationships...
Yeah, fine i got quite paranoid about it, but considering my previous was a complete junkie and nutcase i think thats reasonably normal. Oh, and to top that off, i found out today that my ex was taking crack when we were going out...
what the hell is going on? why am i attracting twats?