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Shy and mighty

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There seem to be a number of people who have suffered, and recovered, from what sound like fairly severe forms of shyness. How have people gone about overcoming it?

    I ask because I find interacting with people pretty difficult a lot of the time. I find small talk almost impossible and become overly concerned with with how people are perceiving me - i think probably because i have to battle my own judgemental side a lot, and suspect that people are looking at me the way i look at them.

    I completely agree with Infinite when s/he says that there's nothing positive about being cripplingly shy. I consider it to be a severe disability.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm very shy and it has really affected my life. Sometimes I'm too scared to leave the house by myself in case I have to talk to someone or see someone that I know. I'm too scared to get a job incase I get fired. Irrational I know.
    I'd love to somehow be made to be 'unshy'. People can be talking and I just clam up and have nothing whatsoever to say. Why bother I guess. It's just noise and what you say doesn't count for anything anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Being shy is utter, utter crap. When you're immensely proud of yourself for being able to go up to someone and (cheeks burning and voice shaking, as ever when I speak to new people) say "do you know where this room is?" makes me feel like some kind of freak. I don't do new people. Even when I'm around a whole load of people I DO know, if there's somebody there I've only just met I'll clam up for at least an hour. I'm not comfortable with people until I've known them for a huge amount of time and I will never strike up a conversation with anyone except for a very few. Big groups of people, no matter who they are, completely intimidate me and I have a tendency to sit in a corner and shut my mouth until someone speaks to me.

    Rach's first sentence is so true. And the bit about jobs, although it's not why. I'm too scared to apply for a job because my head thinks that I'll never get it. It's why I've been stuck in McDonalds for 2 and a half years and I'm being taken advantage of. I've never been good at making friends irl and so I don't go out anywhere. It took me 2 months to ring up the doctor and ask them whether they had my blood test results.

    I can fake confidence, for interviews and things, but things like presentations and new social situations scare the living crap out of me. I never know whether to just get it over with or put it off and put it off.

    Bah.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nd the bit about jobs, although it's not why. I'm too scared to apply for a job because my head thinks that I'll never get it.

    Yeah I think it's this too and also the interview stage. I absolutely *freak* in interviews. So much so that the worst one I can remember is that I physically shook and it was like my throat had closed up because I couldn't get my words out at all. The interviewer even had to offer me a glass of water. The interview was for a receptionist job too. I tried to explain that this wasn't a representation of what I am usually like and it was just nerves but yeah..understandably I didn't get it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This thread reminds me of some fella in uni who was in my tutorial group, everytime the tutor asked him a question he'd go so red in the face and he the longer he took to say something the worse he got. Then the tutor told him he had to have a presentation in for the next week, he never came back and probably lost a fair percentage of the course as a result. Felt so sorry for him, must be really shit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hmm i was quite shy as a kid and for me it was/is the fear of looking stupid in front of others, have thrown a lot of it off through uni and work experiences but still get it now and then, just keep reminding myself you only get one shot at this life so don't waste it! things like job interviews don't bother me at all anymore because i've had dozens and i know i'm good at what i do. of course the first time i just had to bite the bullet because there wasn't really an alternative, that's the mindset you need imo don't give yourself enough time to start second guessing everything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MrG wrote: »
    Wise men speak because they have something to say.

    Fools speak because they have to say something.




    So shy people or slightly reserved people can sometimes and often do suprise people, they sit back and watch things unfold better than others might.
    well said
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