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how can you stop yourself loving someone?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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He's been clear that it's just sex, but you know that is not what you want (and he knows too) so you're being taken advantage of when he wants it.
If you have that kind of relationship where you are behaving like a couple then you need to back off. He gets all the benefits of having a relationship ( including the sex ) when he needs it and still gets to be single.
I know its hard and that I may seem harsh but the guy obviously knows its hurting you but doesn't care enough to say that he won't have sex with you because he knows its leading you on and giving you hope.
A one off, perhaps twice is forgivable, but to do this to you several times is taking the piss.
You need some distance. Hanging with people when you feel strongly about them isn't going to help.
I think this sums it up.
As I said before, yes it will be hard. Give yourself time to cry and don't beat yourself up about it if you do, be kind to yourself and while I advise going out and having fun make sure you get plenty of sleep and "me-time". I got through it and you will too.
I agree with the first bit; you have to stop having sex with him for these feelings to start to go away, otherwise everytime you have sex its back to square one.
Ya never know if you keep rejecting him he may just come around to your way of thinking and realise he wants something more than sex, while ever your sleeping with him his views will not change.
I didn't mention the worst part. He does have a girlfriend. He's been cheating on her with me. And apparently, he loves her. Which seems unlikely given what he's been doing with me. But I have to deal with him telling me he will never love me, because he loves her.
Writing it out like this, he's a total wanker!
I'm an idiot.
You can still love somebody and cheat on them.
I'm not just blaming the guy, she did indeed consent - BUT he knows how she feels, and knows that she will happily have sex with him because of this, and so can get it when he wants, which is taking advantage of.
It makes him even worse and it makes you even worse as well but still things no more his fault than yours.
Hope things work out for you.
If this is the case then she is agreeing to be taken advantage of and I doubt that, I believe she is having sex with him in the hope that everytime he will turn round after and say "that was wonderful baby, I love you so so much, be with me forever", that in my opinion isn't being taken advantage of!
*draws pistols and starts pacing*
HOW DARE YOU DISAGREE!
:nervous:
However, this isn't always the best advice and I'd don't recommend everyone follows it! Sometimes we just can't help how we feel about someone else no matter that we can see that they aren't good for us or things aren't going to work out but it's easier to step back and see these things than to actually take our own advice and stay away. Either you let time run it's course and you'll most likely meet a better suited partner in time or you roll with it and see if things change between you two.
Hope it works out.
I hope you don't mind too much.