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Toys, Part 2.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey again guys, following on from my last post.
I have been chatting with the girl I have been seeing for a while now over MSN as she is coming back to UNI/Where I am on Wednesday.
We started talking about sexual things, and it came up that at the moment she does not really know what turns her on. She also said that last time we were together and just played around a little, that she enjoyed it...but that her mind was not completely into it, and that she was not completely turned on.
I then asked her if she has ever used a vibrator, and she said no... so we are considering maybe getting the rampant rabbit to try and get her turned on by using it as a couple... and maybe even getting her an orgasm, and through this trying to get her to not be quite so nervous about sex.
She also told me that she thinks sex is a bit disgusting,
I will happily get her this toy If I think it will help her to discover what turns her on, but I'm just not sure.
I have tried everything I can think of to try and relax her and turn her on, from playing with her hair, kissing her neck, face...gentle rubbing of her breasts and vagina...feeling her all over...etc:
but she claims to not really be getting turned on. The main reason I have suggested (and she does seem interested) in the rabbit, is because of the reviews it has gotten.
I'm not really sure what advice I am looking for, I just...I dunno...am stuck for what to do.
I have been chatting with the girl I have been seeing for a while now over MSN as she is coming back to UNI/Where I am on Wednesday.
We started talking about sexual things, and it came up that at the moment she does not really know what turns her on. She also said that last time we were together and just played around a little, that she enjoyed it...but that her mind was not completely into it, and that she was not completely turned on.
I then asked her if she has ever used a vibrator, and she said no... so we are considering maybe getting the rampant rabbit to try and get her turned on by using it as a couple... and maybe even getting her an orgasm, and through this trying to get her to not be quite so nervous about sex.
She also told me that she thinks sex is a bit disgusting,
I will happily get her this toy If I think it will help her to discover what turns her on, but I'm just not sure.
I have tried everything I can think of to try and relax her and turn her on, from playing with her hair, kissing her neck, face...gentle rubbing of her breasts and vagina...feeling her all over...etc:
but she claims to not really be getting turned on. The main reason I have suggested (and she does seem interested) in the rabbit, is because of the reviews it has gotten.
I'm not really sure what advice I am looking for, I just...I dunno...am stuck for what to do.
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Since last night when she went off line for dinner, she has not been back on. We were mid-way through chatting about this and she just left, which is unlike her. When I text her later last night asking if she would come back on to chat for a while she said she was revising.
Is she peeved at me:(
To be honest with you, I think the rabbit will probably intimidate the poor girl, especially if she's still not sure what she does and does not like sexually. I agree with the above posters that there seems to be some sort of underlying problem... she thinks sex is disgusting? That's something she needs to work through herself without any added pressure (and I, too, have to agree that I don't think you're putting the pressure on; you seem to be very understanding and patient with her).
She probably just needs a bit of confidence and, I'd go so far to say, a bit of time on her own, in her room, with the door locked.
She said she wanted the rabbit...I gave her one...she tried it on her own...
and the result in text form when I asked her how it went was:
'It's too noisy, I don't even know why you would want to have sex with me, I don't even want it that much, it scares me, I feel dread when I remember you want it'
This is despite me assuring her that I just want her to be happy, and to try out new things...the rabbit was even after she said she had wanted to try something like that for a while.
I give up.
Try and talk to her about where her negative views of sex orginated from (It sounds like you've been trying already) but don't try and force the subject.
If she's never enjoyed anything sexual with herself before, then jumping straight in with a vibrator probably wasn't the best thing to do.. it's not gonna do alot for you if you're scared, not turned on, and don't really know what you're doing..
try and suggest she experiments alone - for her own gain, not just for you two.
There could be a lot of reasons for this. One thing you could try is dropping it for a bit and getting more intimate in a non sexual way i.e. spend time together, become almost like best friends. As she trusts you more she may open up to it.
The idea of sexual therapy may work but I wouldn't know..
Or she's just shy and needs time. Maybe taking the best-friends approach may be better at this point. Don't pressurize her or it'll just make it worse