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feeling broody
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i'm absolutely loathing anything to do with babies atm cos i'm getting unbelievably broody and they seem to be everywhere! almost all of my straight female friends are pregnant, or have little 'uns, and everywhere i look there are babies, on TV and everywhere i go! it's doing my head in!
i really really want to have a baby, but not right now. for one thing i'm single and secondly i'm only a year through my three year contraceptive implant, and thirdly i'm going to uni next year and babies and uni are not a good mix!
i am some what worried though, cos with the industry i'm going into, i will be required to work some very unsociable hours, and being a sound engineer is just really not condusive to bringing up a family. and i do have a physical problem: my family have a unspesific genetic condition where our capability of carrying children seems to fail once we turn 30. my mother, grandmother and great grandmothers (on both sides) were only able to carry one child in their late 20's and after that have either died in child birth or have had miscarriages and/or eptopics. i really really don't want to produce another generation of only chidren, it's so lonely growing up being the only one in the house and all your friends having brothers and sisters.
but i just don't see how i am going to be able to have a family and get on with my career before i'm 30. ok, i am only 18 and quite possibly jumping the gun about getting up the duff quickly, but it really is a worry, especialy as i had a misscarriage in april, -this was an accident as i didn't realise that my implant hadn't settled and wasn't 100% effective at that time, and i had just come out of a long term relationship.
i've always been a bit maternal, and i think IVF is incredibly immoral, but this whole thing is going around my head and driving me a little bit crazy...
any advice?
(sorry if this has ended up in the wrong bit, i was not sure if relationships or health was more apropreate)
thanks
i really really want to have a baby, but not right now. for one thing i'm single and secondly i'm only a year through my three year contraceptive implant, and thirdly i'm going to uni next year and babies and uni are not a good mix!
i am some what worried though, cos with the industry i'm going into, i will be required to work some very unsociable hours, and being a sound engineer is just really not condusive to bringing up a family. and i do have a physical problem: my family have a unspesific genetic condition where our capability of carrying children seems to fail once we turn 30. my mother, grandmother and great grandmothers (on both sides) were only able to carry one child in their late 20's and after that have either died in child birth or have had miscarriages and/or eptopics. i really really don't want to produce another generation of only chidren, it's so lonely growing up being the only one in the house and all your friends having brothers and sisters.
but i just don't see how i am going to be able to have a family and get on with my career before i'm 30. ok, i am only 18 and quite possibly jumping the gun about getting up the duff quickly, but it really is a worry, especialy as i had a misscarriage in april, -this was an accident as i didn't realise that my implant hadn't settled and wasn't 100% effective at that time, and i had just come out of a long term relationship.
i've always been a bit maternal, and i think IVF is incredibly immoral, but this whole thing is going around my head and driving me a little bit crazy...
any advice?
(sorry if this has ended up in the wrong bit, i was not sure if relationships or health was more apropreate)
thanks
0
Comments
why can't all my female friends be single and not with child or had child
at least i'm not the only woman who feels like this.
Honestly I was incredibly broody till my bro and sis in law had a kid in May. Now I spend enough time with him and time on my own to realise that the last thing I want at the moment is kids, there's so much more to experience in life before landing yourself with that sort of commitment. Strange seeing as now I'm actually at a point in life where I could quite happily have a child and feel like I had the life style and support to be able to give a child a proper upbringing.
and tbh, i don't know if i'll ever be in "that" situation where i own my home, and have a stable job, cos i'll probably be freelancing...which makes it worse...
but how many people in this day and age actually do both own their own home and have a job which is stable? i don't know of many and even they have kids...
It is very different helping parents look after little ones when they're around, to when you have them completely to yourself and have no other conversation and can't get on with what you need to in life properly.
In the line of work I'm in, most of my friends have stable jobs and most have/are saving for houses, and yet very few of them have kids in their 20's. The ones who are early 30's are just starting to get married and settle down and have kids, but most people my age that I know are still building their careers, getting the travelling out of their system and generally enjoying living life to the full before settling down properly.
I had my son when I was 19, and boy was it tough, it still is. Dont get me wrong, I wouldnt change him for the world, but I do think things will be easier second time around, with support and security, before emotional and financial, a lot of the worries I have had bringing up my little man will be eliminated.
try to enjoy your life as it is right now, and do get involved with the babies that are part of it, enjoy them, and also enjoy giving them back!
You never know, over the next few years your life plan could change massively, so dont write off babies fitting in with your career, or that you'll never have the stability you talk about, you just never know what might be on the cards.......
Come on, it was only a matter of time before someone said it.
I thought that men never felt broody, but I have done for years. I used to go out with a single mother, and got to know her son extremely well. Every now and then, my brain starts trying to convince me it's time to become a father. Too early right now!
Offer one of your friends to Babysit their kids for the weekend - you'll be so exhausted by the end of it you'll probably be less broody for a while.
I know that sounds crap but i went through a really broody phase when i was about your age, and obviously its a bit of an innapropriate age to be feeling it, although totally totally natural. I got a pet - something i could care for and look after that needed me and it actually really helped.
In your situation obviously if you want kids youre going to have to be a bit more pro-active about it in your 20s, and being an only child isnt necessarily a bad thing at all. There are lots of pros and cons, but if you have friends with kids, there doesnt have to be as many cons.
Theres nothing to say that it would have to be only one either if you were really against that
I didn't realise what hard work they are, they are cute, when they sleep!
Maybe it was weird that i actually had realistic expectations.
yeah does sting a bit
Then my stepmum had twins, and since I spent several days or weeks at a time around them it came off me.
Yeah me too, not all the time, but I do see young familys and think "ah yeah I'm ready for all that" but i'm single at the moment so no choice. I'm still happy living my free-ish life-style though, and I guess it's different for guys as all the sexual cogs continue to whir for a bit longer. I know an older dad is not the best, but i'm a pretty fit guy and don't expect to be wheezing my way around the park at 40, so i'm not too bothered, next 5 years would be nice though.
Id be surprised if it was as hormonally charged and intense as the biological urge women get sometimes, but i guess ill never know
i may get a cat but i can't get one where i am at the mo, a very strict no pets (not even things in cages) policy.
maybe i'll find someone lovely at uni or something....but yes i'm not going to have baby/ies now, that would be very difficult and a silly idea.
i don't think that people that have IVF are immoral. but i would feel it would be immoral for me to do it. if your body isn't going to let you have a baby then why force it by injecting with hormones and all that stuff... i'd rather adopt and see it was as a more moral option that forcing my body to go through all of that. and plus i think playing around with embros isn't right either...
Didn't hurt me
Yeah, Gilles seemed to be fine with it too. Didnt know what all the fuss was about.
Ill have to try harder this time
This time?
Have I missed something?