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In your opinion...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
...without knowing the full details of my story, do you reckon a man could get someone arrested for harassment - and get the claim to stand up in court - (bearing in mind that harassment is a 'continued course of unwanted behaviour'), when only 5 days before he made the claim he'd let her stay over at his house, shared a bed and had sex with her, and told her that he wanted to "stay friends" and keep in touch?
Surely if you're feeling stressed out and deeply affected by someone's 'harassment', you'd either call the police as soon as you saw them, or not let them into your home and definitely not sleep with them!?
I don't need any snidey comments or people posting pictures of broken records, just honest answers to my question please...
Surely if you're feeling stressed out and deeply affected by someone's 'harassment', you'd either call the police as soon as you saw them, or not let them into your home and definitely not sleep with them!?
I don't need any snidey comments or people posting pictures of broken records, just honest answers to my question please...
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It's unlikely however in those circumstances that the CPS would charge, it's even more unlikely that a judge would convict.
If you want some advice though, I'm assuming it's you you're talking about, stay away. The guy sounds like a cock, if he's changing his mind every 2 minutes.
He found out about the C.D and has now somehow added 'damage to his property' to my charge; well I think it's officially 'harassment with damage to property' or something like that - the damage part is from a hole in his bedroom ceileing from when I went up into his loft (nothing dodgy, he asked me to get something!) and we noticed a crack in the ceiling afterwards (from the weight of me being up there, I assume) which turned into a hole the next day, when some of the plaster fell down. I told my ex about it at the time, but now he's saying he didn't know about it until the day I got arrested! Almost a week later :rolleyes:
So I guess I answered my own question when it comes to the arrest; you can get someone arrested for harassment, if you play the victim well enough - but it goes to court on the 14th. My solicitor was hopeful the other day, but he didn't know the full story then (that the damage has been added, etc) so I'm not feeling so positive.
All I've got in my defence is that everytime anything like this has happened, my ex has been playing happy families with me for a few days/weeks before then suddenly changes his mind, and that only a week before this incident he let me stay over, we slept together and he was saying he wanted to stay friends - hopefully that'll discount the harassment, but I'm really worried in case the 'damage' escalates into 'criminal damage' and then the conditional discharge gets called into question.
He's a c**t...and I'm stupid for believing him, obviously.
Anyone with a law degree or anything that might be able to shed some light on how I'll get on in court/anything that could help me? Can't exactly prove that we had sex and he said he wanted to stay mates, and I KNOW he'll lie through his teeth and deny it.
And what the hell are you doing going climbing in his/your/ANYONES loft when youre pregnant. Bloody dangerous if you fell.
This "relationship" is totally mutually destructive. You need to go on Jeremy Kyle or something
I'm intending to stay away from him from now on - I was just lulled into believing him when he started going on about changing and being a better father...should have known better.
What I'm concerned about now is the court thing.
But in all likelihood as long as your solicitor does his job then there won't relaly be an issue. In my opnion. But no court in the land is going to do anything bad towards a pregnant woman.
I had a female 'lead magistrate' (whatever they're called...lol, there are 3 judges and one sits in the middle) which my solicitor said would help, and embarrassingly I almost lost it when she said I'd get bail! I welled up and had to really struggle to compose myself! The magistrate looked like she was trying to hold it together too, so hopefully I'll get her on the 14th
I'm hoping they'll see that although I've been an idiot and handled things badly (consistently!), I'm not *trying* to harass or bug the hell out of my ex. I would have liked to stay on speaking terms with him but as he doesn't want that, all I want to do now is move on with my life. I'm actually considering moving back down to Devon, but I'm not sure yet...
ETA: But they do put pregnant women in jail - that's why they have mother and baby units in prisons, there are loads of women pregnant and giving birth in jail every week... I think it is unlikely that it'll happen, it's more likely (like you said shyboy) that I'll get an injunction, then if I broke that (which obviously I wouldn't), it might go further. Just sad that it had to come to this, but hey.
Not usually because the pregnant woman is misguidedly trying to keep a relationship with the babys father.
Seriously though, keep away etc etc ad nauseum.
Like I said, I'm thinking of moving away anyway - the idea's seeming more and more attractive the more I think about it, and my sister lives on Torquay so...
But yep, staying away from him, for definite.
It's your word against his.
Not too sure what, but it seems like he thinks you've done something wrong or he regrets letting you stay over and realised that wasn't what he really wanted.