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What are your views on marriage?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think that marriage is getting a little outdated although people will continue to get married for years to come, as its a nice traditon
    personally i dont see the point in spendin all that money just for a piece of paper to show your love and commitment to somebody, mind you im still young yet il prob want to get married when i get to my 30's lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ellie do you remember when I thought you wanted to bring a cat to wear to my wedding?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well we were in a pub, I think you were drinking some kind of fruity beer that you insisted didn't taste of beer (and made me try it) and it definitely did taste of beer :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the Brigantes in York when you went to the Christmas market! Ah well I remember strange things, obviously :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No marriage before sex. That's what I say.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm a traditionalist on these things. I'm not especially keen on the idea of couples cohabiting for years on end without making a further commitment to one another. Marriage has been shown in countless studies to be by far the best institution in which to bring up a family. For all its faults, marrige is an institution which I still support wholeheartedly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    I'm not especially keen on the idea of couples cohabiting for years on end without making a further commitment to one another. .

    How come ?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    I'm a traditionalist on these things. I'm not especially keen on the idea of couples cohabiting for years on end without making a further commitment to one another. Marriage has been shown in countless studies to be by far the best institution in which to bring up a family. For all its faults, marrige is an institution which I still support wholeheartedly.

    If two people lived together and had children, do you really think the children would know their parents weren't married.

    Married or not, the parents would still give them the love an affection of a married couple.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deceelpool wrote: »
    How come?
    To me, permanently cohabiting with someone shows a lack of long-term commitment. If two people lived together and suddenly one walks out, the other could be left with nothing. Marriage provides an incentive for people to stay together. I realise many would disagree, which is fine. It's strictly a personal view.
    Calvin wrote: »
    If two people lived together and had children, do you really think the children would know their parents weren't married?
    Of course they would. Children are curious creatures. They'd find out eventually, one way or another. I should know. My first girlfriend was a single mother, and her son asked me several times "when are you going to marry my mum?". I found it quite odd.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    To me, permanently cohabiting with someone shows a lack of long-term commitment.

    If two people lived together and suddenly one walks out, the other could be left with nothing

    I would disagree...I don't think a peice of paper (binding or not) a few sausage rolls and a cheesy DJ shows any more of a long-term commitment than not getting married.
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    If two people lived together and suddenly one walks out, the other could be left with nothing

    Not really true that.


    But different strokes and all that :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shadow wrote: »
    Thats why i hate all these soaps, specially when they do what i have just mentioned if its not that they have loads of arguements and end up shouting at each other.

    Eh ?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    Of course they would. Children are curious creatures. They'd find out eventually, one way or another. I should know. My first girlfriend was a single mother, and her son asked me several times "when are you going to marry my mum?". I found it quite odd.

    Sorry what I meant to say was I doubt children would actually care if their parents were married. I think the most important thing is that both parents are there for them.

    Each to their own though :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Calvin wrote: »
    Sorry what I meant to say was I doubt children would actually care if their parents were married. I think the most important thing is that both parents are there for them.
    Married or not, I would have to agree with that point. My experience of seeing a single mother first-hand show that parenting is a difficult enough job for two people, never mind just the one.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    deceelpool wrote: »


    Not really true that.


    But different strokes and all that :thumb:

    Well what Stargalaxy is saying is true, when you're not married you have no rights to the other person's wealth or anything like that, if your partner walked away you could well be left with nothing.

    I think there are alot of different opinions which all have merit, my choice would definitely be to get married though, not for the wedding but for what it means.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ilora-Danon wrote: »
    Marriage was created during a time when people only lived to their 30's. If we all maintained this outlook, then it makes sense. It's not saying 'forever' - it's saying 'until one of us dies', so it only makes sense that marriage only lasted a few years.

    I can't wait to get married. I believe that we're not meant to be with one person forever, but then I don't believe marriage is meant to be like that either, so if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. There's nothing stopping you making it 'official' even if you don't believe it'll be forever.

    Just make sure your future partner realises that you dont actually MEAN forever when you promise it and that your idea of marriage is more along the lines of Elizabeth Taylor and Joan Collins ideas than what its always supposed to have been.

    I think when youve gone through your first heartbreak and especially your first divorce you might change your tune a bit.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote: »
    If two people lived together and suddenly one walks out, the other could be left with nothing. Marriage provides an incentive for people to stay together.

    Kinda takes away from the romance of it all, doesn't it?!

    "Will you marry me? Not that I'm completely in love with you or anything, I just want to make sure I get the car if you fall for the postie"

    You get tax concessions if you're married too, as opposed to cohabiting, so financially it makes sense. But good god wouldn't that be a soul-destroying ceremony?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Butterflykisses wrote: »
    Kinda takes away from the romance of it all, doesn't it?!

    "Will you marry me? Not that I'm completely in love with you or anything, I just want to make sure I get the car if you fall for the postie"

    :lol::lol:

    Butterflykisses wrote: »
    You get tax concessions if you're married too, as opposed to cohabiting, so financially it makes sense. But good god wouldn't that be a soul-destroying ceremony?

    i don't think you do get tax concessions for being married in this country, they did away with it i'm sure. Correct me if i'm wrong someone :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sugar wrote: »
    :lol::lol:

    i don't think you do get tax concessions for being married in this country, they did away with it i'm sure. Correct me if i'm wrong someone :)

    Correct... they were disposed of a few years ago...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Splodgey wrote: »
    I would also say that it has a lot to do with your upbringing... my husband and I both have parents who were happily married for umpteen years - in the current climate more and more people are having children outside of marriage and many who unfortunately have gone through divorce - I would imagine those children would grow up not feeling the same importance about marriage as those whose parents were happily married.

    I think you're probably spot on.

    In fact, not just my parents, but my entire extended family are all happily married, and growing up I guess it was presented to me in such a way that it was never a question of if I'd get married, but when, and who to.

    I mean, I'm not going to get married just for the sake of a nice dress and a big party, I'll do it for the right reasons, but I can't imagine the kind of pride I'd feel at being able to refer to someone I loved totally as my husband.

    Plus I hate my surname ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Splodgey wrote: »
    I would also say that it has a lot to do with your upbringing... my husband and I both have parents who were happily married for umpteen years - in the current climate more and more people are having children outside of marriage and many who unfortunately have gone through divorce - I would imagine those children would grow up not feeling the same importance about marriage as those whose parents were happily married.

    I think that coming from a divorced family at least makes you more cautious or maybe even cynical about the idea of marriage and its likelihood of surviving. My boyfriend's parents had a very messy separation and divorce when he was about 22, and I remember him waxing lyrical once about what's the point of marriage when you can throw it all down the pan after 30 years.

    That said, we've been together over 6 years, lived together for nearly 3, and I think we'll probably get engaged pretty soon afteer we've got ourselves sorted into a place of our own and are in a position to start planning a wedding. I think we've got as much chance as anyone else of making it through :)

    I'm not quite sure how to phrase this so it doesn't come out all wrong, but I'm fairly neutral about marriage, in that I certainly don't believe that it's essential for any successful long term partnership and I really wouldn't mind if my boyfriend 'didn't believe in it' and wasn't interested in getting married at all, but it is kind of icing on the cake and agree with Butterfly Kisses that declaring our love and commitment for one another would be a wonderful thing. Also, because it is possible to be in a long term relationship and live with one another without getting married, the decision shouldn't be taken lightly. If you don't mean the vows, why say 'em?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think it is the actual marriage which keeps married people together for longer, its just the sort of people who get married compared to those who dont.

    I think if you are together for a long number of years and you have kids its probably wise to get married purely for the legal stuff, otherwise if one person dies it could easily get nasty.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd like to get married one day. But I am kinda cautious because I'd hate to have to divorce (especially if kids were involved); I don't want to become another statistic in the masses of failed marriages that are around these days. Saying that, I'm an old romantic at heart and I love the idea of getting married and being with someone for the rest of your life.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    After my track record and my parents I don't think I'll last too long in a marriage..

    But i would really like to get married someday to some one i really like and not just for money or anything although i'm sure i would be tempted easily
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i recently got engaged, my view is it depends on what stage you are in life and not everyone is ready for the commitment. But ive been in a realtionship for 6 years and i can honestly say i dont want to be with anyone else and even tho theres ups and downs i cant imagine life without him so thats why im going to get married but this wont change things. i will share his name but are realtionship will go on and stay the same. in the end it is just one day but it means a lot personaly to each other.you have the rest of your life together. (if thats what you want)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm all for it, but then I'm just a sop :o

    Not something I want to think about for a few years yet though.
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