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Would you
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ever change yourself for you bf/gf?
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Agreed.
If somebody *expects* me to change, they've a long wait ahead. People have to take you as you are and then perhaps they'll/you'll find that you unconsciously change as your personalities mesh.
God, I can't believe I used the word "mesh". It's buzz word bingo all over again. :yeees:
I wouldn't change just because they wanted me to behave differently.
erm, yeh why not, she has quite a fun life and if all else fails I could play with my boobs all day.
then i realised what the question meant.
Woud that always be the case? What if you were told that you had a bad attitude about something (and it was true)? Are you saying that you would never change anything under any condition?
I know I'm still quite emotionally immature and I've got a bit of growing up to do, so if I was with the right person then I might change for the better naturally within the relationship, rather than following orders or whatever else.
That was terrible - I felt awful when she said that, but it made me realise that I had to be much more aware in the future and not 'lose' myself for anyone or anything - so overall, it was a really positive experience.
So in short - no - I'd never change (as in - compromise who I am) for anyone or anything again.
I nagged her until she quit smoking for me. Then again i was always annoyed when she said she didnt smoke and 5 minutes later buy a packet of fags and make out like it didnt count, so eventually i bothered her so much with nagging she quit.
But that is it. I wouldnt change who i am as a person or expect her to change who she is.
I'm glad he kept on with it though, I'm a different person now and better for all that nagging
I don't know if that's what the question is about though. I doubt I'd ever change anything about my appearance, morals or views for a partner but I can't now honestly say I rule out any change in my character in the development of a relationship. Obviously a big part of a relationship is discovering things about yourself as well as discovering the new person in your life, so I suppose any change is possible... really.
Oooooooh, I just realised You were'nt talking about metamorphosis.
best answer, short but full of content.
I usually connect something negative with "changing for a partner". Like - as a dumb example - she is emo and wants me to like her music, or wants me to dress black, or whatever. It's not going to happen.
I have to be convinced of the "change" and would prefer it my own way eitherway. I would never change in the sense of neglecting my friends to spend every free hour with her, or anything that occurs to be something negative or I'm not 100% comfortable with.
I don't want to come over doormatish, but I could even think of changing my hairstyle for example for her (except bald and or long enough that it covers my ears), but on the other hand: this shouldn't be afactor anyway. If she suggests something new, when I'm at the hairdresser, well, I'm not particularly picky with my hair, but if she's like "I would reconsider our partnership if you did this and that with you hair.", yea, she can pack her luggage and go.
It's a sensitive topic. Changing for a partner to a degree is tolerance, but demanding change is not cool.
Other than that I can't think of anything I have changed. If I did change too much then I would not longer be *me* and we'd end up with the whole "you aren't the person I fell in love with" break-up