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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was debating whether to post this because it seems like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Last night me and my boyfriend had a minor row on MSN (yeah I know..not the best place for it) and I went offline in a strop. This was just before I was going to bed too. Anyway I couldn't sleep and found myself getting really upset and texted to tell him.

He didn't reply till 30 minutes later because he was in the bath but that 30 minutes of feeling paranoid and like I was about to be dumped was the most agonising thing ever. I found myself thinking 'if he doesn't text me in 10 mins, he doesn't love me and can't be arsed'....soon turned to 'okay he must hate me and be in love with someone else' completely irrational because I KNOW that he does love me.

Anyway amidst all this blather, I have a point I guess. If I feel this strongly for him. I hate that I can feel like stabbing myself in the eye at such a minor hiccup with him. It seems unhealthy and arghhhhhhhhhhhh.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i had this the other day - he'd been spending alot of time with mates that week and we hadn't had much time to talk properly (its a LDR btw) and then on sunday we were on msn and i asked him why he was being quiet and he said he wanted some time to himself. So i started to panic thinking that he wanted to end it and was annoyed that he seemed fine to spend time with mates but not me. Anyway, we got in a strop with each other and didnt text for a few hours, then i was getting really paranoid and asked him what i'd done. He said nothing and everything was ok. Anyway, we had words and sorted it out. We mis-interpretated each other. I don't think it's much to worry about tbh, but if it's regular or you're constantly texting and getting paranoid when he doesn't reply in 10 mins then i would worry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope I don't think it is regular. I'm not a bunny-boiler or anything..at least I hope not! Think I just need to remember that MSN isn't a good place to air your greviances nor is the best time before bed. Ahhh
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've said it yourself, the problem isn't that you had a little tiff or argument it's with the forum you did it in... and the time. If you argue on msn and someone signs off in a rage then you're both left completely fucking clueless about what the other is thinking/how they're reacting and you're bound to get worked up about it. Because it was you who signed off you probably started thinking he was going to be hellishly pissed off and dump you even though that wasn't the case. Arguing before bedtime is awful too, since during periods when I didn't live with signifigant others and we argued I (at least) started to feel like if I went to sleep on an argument then in the morning they'd have the clarity to decide that the relationship was over. That was never the case, but I can totally understand why you would start to feel anxious and stressed out about it - especially as sensitivity is definitely in your nature (no bad thing, of course :)).

    You know he loves you, as you said, you just need to pick the time and place for talking about your issues and having your little spats. It's too easy to say things you regret on there because you're not face to face, and in a normal situation your rationale would tell you that they have a face like thunder already and you should shut the hell up. Evil, evil msn ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    feel like if I went to sleep on an argument then in the morning they'd have the clarity to decide that the relationship was over.

    that is exactly how i felt! That if he thought about it over and over in his head he'd decide I wasn't worth the hassle therefore I had to sort it out asap before it was too late. Then my sane kicked in a bit and I thought that if he decided to finish with me it was going to happen whether I had spoken to him or not. Turned out I underestimated how laid back he is and he just put it down to PMT :rolleyes: Which truthfully might have added to it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And that's the problem with long-distance relationships conducted over the internet.

    Everyone has arguments (we had a scorcher the other night!) and that's life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    And that's the problem with long-distance relationships conducted over the internet.

    Everyone has arguments (we had a scorcher the other night!) and that's life.

    mine isn't long distance or over the Internet
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I feel for you rach.

    Look at you, multiply with 100 and you got me. If I was in that situation and he (in my case a she, hopefully) wouldn't text me, I'd honestly make myself believe she must've have been abducted by aliens. I am so bad at those overinterpreting things and I always say the same to myself, "that's not healthy" and just drives every girl off.

    A controlling, jealous, snoopy demeanor and I wish I knew how to change myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    If I was in that situation and he (in my case a she, hopefully) wouldn't text me, I'd honestly make myself believe she must've have been abducted by aliens.

    :lol: (sorry) I'm just as bad though and have got into a bit of trouble because I moan if someone doesn't respond on MSN...:blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im so glad i came on here! just on msn and about to bring up the rather repetetive subject of me feeling out of sorts with the relationship, when i saw this! have decided im being silly and i dont want to go to bed in a mess.
    you've saved my night!

    also, i get in a panicky spiral because i get worried that minor rows are unhealthy therefore there must be something wrong with the relationship altogether, but theyre ok really.

    and the overinterpreting thing - everyone does it, dont worry :)

    ive just got to the point in my 2yr relationship where its getting a bit samey, so i argue on msn over the fact that it is, instead of getting on with it. after 2 years i shouldnt be this insecure but i just want a bit of attention and surprise romancey things sometimes, can't say that to the bf though for risk of sounding like an idiot. unhealthy and gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh too!!! :P
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    mine isn't long distance or over the Internet

    Oh, sorry, I just made a couple of assumptions there. Oops.

    It's easy to start misinterpreting everything, but there are few things that can't be solved by some really good make-up sex.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    MSN's a shit place to have arguements, nearly always ended up argueing about something with my ex over msn for no particular reason. so I stopped using it :p

    you just need to try your hardest to calm down and look at what you're mad at rationally. which is not at all easy! you obviously care a great deal about him, but moaning about the small inconsistancies in his texting etc aren't going to let him know this.

    but as kermit said, good make-up sex is a good fix :thumb:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the replies. I'm gonna save my indifferences with him till when I see him. Then I can make him watch films he hates like Pretty Woman..was on last night!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    Then I can make him watch films he hates like Pretty Woman..was on last night!

    Pretty Woman is a well good film! I've been forced to watch it so many times by ex girlfriends that it's actually grown on me....same for all chick flicks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why cant all men be like you??

    He kept ripping the piss and when the song Pretty Woman came on he changed it to 'Ugly Woman..walking down the street'...what a loser :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a shite film made worse by the presence of Julia Roberts.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    It's a shite film made worse by the presence of Julia Roberts.

    Not the best film in the world obviously but good for when I'm in a shmaltzy mood. I'm such a sucker because I cry everytime I watch it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are better soppy films. I really like Love Actually, but whisper it quietly because I have a reputation to maintain.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    There are better soppy films. I really like Love Actually, but whisper it quietly because I have a reputation to maintain.

    Haha. I went off that film entirely when Hugh Grant's character felt the need to mention Sept 11. Can't remember the line exactly but blughhhhh...it was such a cheap move!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    It's a shite film made worse by the presence of Julia Roberts.
    Ah she's a stunner!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote: »
    There are better soppy films. I really like Love Actually, but whisper it quietly because I have a reputation to maintain.

    Ah I do like that!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    Not the best film in the world obviously but good for when I'm in a shmaltzy mood. I'm such a sucker because I cry everytime I watch it

    HAHAHA. YOU MILKSOP
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1983 wrote: »
    Ah I do like that!

    God, has NME started telling it's readers what films to watch now or did you just come up with an opinion of your own? :eek: ;)

    I don't like Pretty Woman because of Gere, proven by the fact that Julia Roberts was in Notting Hill with Hugh Grant which is my favourite film ever ever ever :yippe:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    HAHAHA. YOU MILKSOP

    shaddap! you're the same you austrian muffin
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote: »
    shaddap! you're the same you austrian muffin

    *sob* oh no... it's the story of a hooker who fucked a rich man, who was stupid enought to let her into his private life. *whine*

    :p

    (:heart: )
    Bri-namite wrote: »
    I don't like Pretty Woman because of Gere,

    what? gere is awesome. red corner, primal fear....
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