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my mum became a single parent after 18 years of marriage - when you say single mother now, you picture a 20 something with 2 young kids by different dads. It's not always the case.
My mum became a single mother and not by choice. She didn't work until I went to school. Gosh, I can almost hear the stampede of Jeremy Kyle...
my mum has always and still works and she works even more now since they've split. I'm saying that single parents aren't always young women with a brood of kids that has never had much of a relationship with their father/s.
No, not if you were already working or want to work. Every effort should be made to help people who want to work, get work.
Single parents have a lot more obstacles in their way than most, and a lot of them didnt even choose to BE single parents, but found themselves in an unfortunate situation and should not be penalised for it.
ok, thats fair, and im all for giving support to single perents, but i just think that because someone has a child doesnt give them the right to not work, my mum and dad split up when i was 5. but my mum still worked, not because she was a bad mum not spending time with me but because she couldnt stand the thought of living on handouts.
i really think that single mums( or dads) that work should get all the support needed.
So, you think that we just leave single parents alone and not give them support?:yeees: Obivously you know how much it costs to have a kid then?
I don't think anyone's actually said that.
Okay it's not an easy life that's a bad way to put it, my point was too many people do play the system and it's not like you have to have the kid in the first place....
i know that sounds harsh and obviously not all single mothers are single when the kid is born so this doesn't apply to all, but what we have is a section of society that is forced to pay for the irresponsible (and yes, having a kid when you are knowingly unable to provide for it yourself is irresponsible imo *queue outrage* ) actions of other members of society.
This isn't exclusive to some single mothers it's prevalent everywhere......we borrow and spend more than we earn and save, we are so fat and unhealthy we're driving the NHS to ruin, the way we are living isn't sustainable. and the minority who are responsible are getting screwed.
MoK I don't know how much it costs to have a kid, but because of the high cost of living in this country responsible couples are having to put off starting a family until later and later in life (joint mortgages which are the norm these days means it's not possible to survive on a single salary anymore etc etc), meanwhile a huge chunk of their salary goes to look after the aforementioned portion of society that expects a handout because they can't be arsed to contribute.
i am not saying we should abandon all single mothers because as SCC says there are many different circumstances that result in being a single mother, i just don't agree with the mentality we have in this country which screws over responsible people and rewards the irresponsible.
:yes: Me and my two younger brothers were suddenly taken away from my Mum & stepdad and put into my Dad's care because of domestic violence, lack of home, alcoholism,etc. It just got too much and it was either that or to be put in care.
My Dad had a fantastic job but it involved him working away alot. He had to give up his job. Its not something he wanted to do but he had to. My younger brother was only 4/5 at the time so yanno. It wasn't for another two years that he actually got a job (but to be fair, for a year of that, he was off work sick for sciatica and was on crutches) because there was so much to sort out. He had to sort out a home for us and everything. It was alot for him to take on.
He works full time now but it took him quite a while to get a job which could fit my younger brother around it. My brother is 10 now. He goes into school an hour earlier and leaves an hour later. My Dad has to pay for this. Most schools don't have this sort of thing though so he is lucky really. He goes to high school in September though so its going to be alot harder. My Dad leaves the house at half seven and gets back at half four. He doesn't like leaving my younger brother on his own but there is nobody else that can look after him. Its going to be alot harder.
My Dad had no choice when he suddenly became a single dad but to quit his job and go on benefits. He shouldn't have been judged for that tbh but praised. He gave up a life of luxury (he had a very good job) to take his kids away from a horrible situation and raise them.
When did parenting stop being hard work?
Since we're on the subject i don't see why I should have to support the NHS when I'm not ill, and I don't see why I should have to support the road network when I don't drive, and I don't see why I should have to support the pensioners when I'm not old.
How twisted is that? I have to pay for Social Services when I don't even abuse children!
Oh dear.
If you're the one left holding the baby, its not always going to be practical or desirable is it?
Yes, they should get all the support needed. This doesn't mean forcing people to work. What it does mean is jibs with flexible hours and decent pay. Affordable childcare. A proper length of time for maternity leave and a benefits system that doesn't penalise people for wanting to work.
:rolleyes: all your analogies are somewhat tenuous, i was pointing out the irony that a lot of couples these days can't afford to have their own child yet they have to pay for someone else's.....
I would actually be in favour of a private health system, the NHS does great considering the resources it has and the strain on it, but if I needed an operation I wouldn't want to be on a waiting list for x months....
Nice if you can afford it...
True, I wouldn't be saying it if I couldn't....I guess you have to draw the line somewhere, it comes back to people who are fit and healthy having to pay for others who are irresponsible to receive treatment for smoking and obesity related illnesses, helping to drive the NHS into the ground....yes yes I know smokers pay tax on their fags, but you pay tax on everything in this country so it's a circular argument.
If someone else's child is getting paid for, then surely all couples have enough money to have children? All children are entitled to the same benefits, after all.
The couples who "can't afford" to have children can afford- what they mean is that they cannot afford to give their children the lifestyle they want. We could afford to have children if GWST fell pregnant- it wouldn't be ideal or what we want, but that's not the same thing.
change that to 'the lifestyle they deserve', and you understand what i mean about being responsible....kids are brought up in africa everyday living hand to mouth but it's not ideal, so it's all relative isn't it. i wouldn't want to bring my kids up in the same way i was because i don't think that would be responsible....