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It depends on the family and individual.
Most 11 year olds are capable of going home from school without a parent, I certainly was. There may be older siblings around, they can go to a friends house, maybe the parent works part-time or flexitime so they leave work early.
Do you think an 11 year old requires constant supervision?
In an ideal world yeah. But I don't think children need their parents there all that much. I dunno maybe just cos I'm not from one of those cosy types of families.
It depends where the parent works, they probably would be there in the morning as long as they didn't work miles away.
What's wrong with a secondary school age child having an hour or so on their own? They don't have to sit at home by themselves, they can do stuff like go to the library, go to the park with their friends, go to guides/clubs, whatever it is teenagers do nowadays.
Some companies do offer flexible working time. A woman in my office leaves work around 3pm every day to collect her 5 year old from school. Birmingham city council offers all workers flexitime so they can basically work the hours they choose as long as they complete their required hours each week. More places should have that sort of scheme.
If you look after other people's children, it's work. Look after your own, and it's scrounging.
I would expect that it is the exception rather than the rule where you have extended family to rely on long term and on a regular basis.
Thats what it seems to boil down to.
You don't think an 11 year old needs their family? :eek:
Meanwhile, back in the real world...jobs that allow someone to be there in the morning and in the afternoon, that also pay enough to survive on are few and far between.
What is wrong with a kid being on their own for a short time before their parent comes back from work? As I've already said it doesn't even have to involve them being alone, they can do after school activities and go to friends houses, etc.
I've obviously been brought up differently to other people but I would much rather parents went out to work even if does mean a kid has to learn to be independent. I don't believe in babying children.
My view is similar to that of most members. I don't think that compulsion is necessarily the answer. If single parents wish to work, then allow them to do so. However, the benefits system should not punish them for doing so. Very few people begrudge single parents. Indeed, I saw at first hand the admirable way in which one single mother brought up her son, so I hold much admiration for single parents. They do an incredibly difficult job under strenuous circumstances. Whether they wish to work or not should be an individual matter, and not something to which a dead-duck government should be interfering in.
Of course they don't need to have someone pour their cereal, don't be so absurd. What they do need is for a carer to be there. Kids need emotional containment and boundaries. Not being there when they get up and when they come home is not emotionally containing.
There's nothing wrong with it. Where it becomes a problem is when they have no choice in the matter.
Who said anything about babying children? However, an 11 year old is a child. They are not an adult and should not be treated as such.
Rubbish. When I was 11, my parents weren't always up in the mornng and afternoon when I got back.
Are you wilfully missing the point?
Nobody is saying that 11 or 12-year-old children need to be mollycoddled or mothered- they don't need someone to be there to pour their cereal or wipe their backside or whatever. But they do need someone to be there, they need a carer, and they need the emotional containment and security that comes from having someone there.
I don't think mum getting home at 4pm every afternoon instead of 3pm will destroy them mentally. But latch-key parenting has been proven time and time again to contribute to childhood depression and anti-social behaviour. It isn't good for a child to get themselves up and leave an empty house to go to school, it isn't good for a child to be at school from 8am to 6pm every day.
Why is being a parent considered to be "scrounging"? The same attitude comes across on here time and time again- last time this was discussed, parenting was described as a "hobby" and that attitude stinks. Parents who stay at home and look after their children are "scroungers", but if the children end up tagging the bus shelter because mum's never home then she's a bad parent who should be put in prison. It's either one or the other- either parenting is regarded as the important job that it is, or you shut the hell up when society disintegrates because everyone is a latch-key kid.
:yes:
Sadly, you can never really do anything right as far as children/work is concerned. If you go back to work, you're a bad neglectful parent whose children will end up calling someone else 'mummy'. If you stay home to look after the children, you're a bad parent not contributing to the workforce and probably sat on your arse all morning watching daytime tv...
*claps hands*
How much do you think it costs to have a kid?
Do you think that parenting is "an easy life"?
this is the first bit of Sense i have seen on the P&D boards,
oh boy...