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School incident - should i do something?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Our school is next to a special school for kids with learning difficulties - from autism to downs syndrome, there's all sorts of different ones there.

Anyway, we share our 6th form base with their '6th formers', this morning one of them was coming in with her carer and was trying to bring a chair through the door, so i waited while her carer got her to leave it. Then the next thing i knew she'd grabbed hold of my hair - her carer got between us and was pulling her away but she'd still got hold of my hair, so i automatically pulled it out of her hand - and i didn't get much back.

Afterwards when they were filling in a form for the girl, they were asking me if she'd got hold of my neck, she didn't but i found that quite worrying. I know she only pulled some hair out and didn't really do me an injury, is it worth going to school about or not? Because i don't think it's really fair for us to share our base with potentialy violent disabled kids that don't know what they're doing. I'm not sure what kind of difficulty she had, but it must have been severe autism/downs or something like that. Or would i be being unfair?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe if you had an informal meeting asking why it happened. You don't necessarily need to lodge a complaint, just say you were surprised about what had happened and would like to know what sort of things are normally done to avoid that sort of behaviour.

    Have you got a head of sixth form you can talk to like that?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I'd say if you did kick up a huge fuss and complain that you were over reacting and being a prima donna about it. There are all kinds of people in the world and school is part of that world, you can't expect complete segregation and protection from everyone that might cause you harm. There's nothing to say you won't get pissed off one day and pull someones hair.

    That said, you should be reasonably safe at school and if this person is repeatedly violent then it is a cause from conern. I can tell you the answer now as to what they do about it, they report incidents and monitor the occurences, and she has a career who basically 'minds' her.

    If she wasn't 'special' what would you do? Maybe have a word with your form tutor and say you don't like having your hair pulled. So do that.

    I'm not getting at you, so please don't take it the wrong way, I've tried to reword it to sound nice and make the point and I can't. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm, this is a tricky one. On the one hand I think everyone has the right to go to school (or anywhere!) without being physically attacked. As SM said above, what would you do if she wasn't disabled?


    I do have a 'on the other hand' comment but it's pretty obivous really (she's disabled etc)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If the girl has such serious SEN that she becomes violent then she shouldn't be in a mainstream school.

    I'd personally kick up a fuss about that- I couldn't give a toss about her SEN, you should be able to go to school and be protected from violence.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I'd say if you did kick up a huge fuss and complain that you were over reacting and being a prima donna about it. There are all kinds of people in the world and school is part of that world, you can't expect complete segregation and protection from everyone that might cause you harm. There's nothing to say you won't get pissed off one day and pull someones hair.

    That said, you should be reasonably safe at school and if this person is repeatedly violent then it is a cause from conern. I can tell you the answer now as to what they do about it, they report incidents and monitor the occurences, and she has a career who basically 'minds' her.

    If she wasn't 'special' what would you do? Maybe have a word with your form tutor and say you don't like having your hair pulled. So do that.

    I'm not getting at you, so please don't take it the wrong way, I've tried to reword it to sound nice and make the point and I can't. :)
    I'm not wanting to kick up a huge fuss - i'm not that kind of person. I was about to continue walking out and leave it until her carer asked me to wait. I know another guy had a bit of a problem with one that would keep coming up to him and they were telling him not to make eye contact and what to do if he hit him. Which is fair enough they're warning us - but as it's school i feel it's a bit irresponsible for us to share our base with them if some can lash out. And because they're special, we can't really defend ourselves as we would normally because we'd probably end up in trouble. I don't know if anyone else has been lashed out at because this is my 1st year in 6th form and i dunno what's happened in previous years. I don't think it's happened while i've been in though. I'll feel bad if i say something because i feel i'd be the one in the wrong.

    It's a touchy issue.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    If the girl has such serious SEN that she becomes violent then she shouldn't be in a mainstream school.

    I'd personally kick up a fuss about that- I couldn't give a toss about her SEN, you should be able to go to school and be protected from violence.
    they're not technically pupils at our school - they are pupils at their school but the 6th formers come over to use our base about 3 days a week.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Only if you let it be. If they weren't special, you'd expect some disciplary action for violent pupils. But they are special, which means that you'd probably expect the violent ones to be dealt with properly, and that means not by you.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    I'd let that go to be honest.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Personally I'd let it go as an isolated incident - however if you hear of anything else like this happening or anything else happens to you I'd have a word with someone
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally wouldn't say anything. I had a disabled girl do a similar thing to me and it only happened the once. I think it'll only becom a problem if you keep on dwelling on it and make it out to be a problem when it probably isn't and she probably didn't meant to do what she did to you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    BumbleBee wrote:
    As SM said above, what would you do if she wasn't disabled?
    well i`d probably punch her or pull her hair right back! lol

    as for people saying "she's special needs, let it slide" i don't agree

    why should she? she was attacked and the matter should be taken up, special needs or no special needs




    however, to the OP, you say that they were filling out some form....who were? her carers? If that's the case then i doubt a lot more can be done as the school would be aware of this person's outbursts which to me, would be the only reason for going to the school.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    If the girl has such serious SEN that she becomes violent then she shouldn't be in a mainstream school.

    I'd personally kick up a fuss about that- I couldn't give a toss about her SEN, you should be able to go to school and be protected from violence.
    tbh I agree.
    Youre not her carer so you didnt have any idea to be careful. If theyre taking her to places where shes likely to attack the public, they should bloody well be watching her every move.
    Im not saying prosecute, but id definitely mention it or make a complaint.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dunno if she's attacked someone other than her carer before, or if this was a one off.
    I think the ones that need care all the time because they don't know what they're doing shouldn't be allowed over tbh. We shouldn't be at risk of being attacked. We don't know what to do if it does happen either.
    We have locks on the computer room door and the study room door - it's supposed to be a school not a lion pit. They're never locked either because people are coming in and out all the time - and the computer room door is currently broken (has been for about 2 months) so we have to leave it open.

    I'm probably over re-acting but i just don't see why they have to come over just to use some class rooms in our 6th form base. I guess it's to make the govenors go 'aaw' when they visit. But we shouldn't be in danger of being attacked.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But if it's a one off incident then she's no different to any other kid and it's already been reported.

    If someone else had pulled your hair in the common room, what would you do? Report it I suspect, and expect them to get some kind of reprimand. It sounds like that has happened. If it happened repeatedly you'd kick up a fuss.

    Do whatever you'd do if it was anybody else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    i dunno if she's attacked someone other than her carer before, or if this was a one off.
    I think the ones that need care all the time because they don't know what they're doing shouldn't be allowed over tbh. We shouldn't be at risk of being attacked.

    They may need care all the time because they don't know what they are doing, to the extent that they may stick their fingers in plug sockets, or because they'll walk out into the road, or because they have very little sense of time and would never get anywhere if left to their own devices. Needing a full time carer doesn't make someone dangerous in itself.
    We don't know what to do if it does happen either.
    You do exactly the same as you would do for anyone else.
    We have locks on the computer room door and the study room door - it's supposed to be a school not a lion pit. They're never locked either because people are coming in and out all the time - and the computer room door is currently broken (has been for about 2 months) so we have to leave it open.

    Odds on that's a security issue and possibly general personnal safety, rather than for you to lock 'them' out.
    I'm probably over re-acting but i just don't see why they have to come over just to use some class rooms in our 6th form base. I guess it's to make the govenors go 'aaw' when they visit. But we shouldn't be in danger of being attacked.

    They are just as entitled to facilities as you are, it probably gets you some funding. From what I can gather it's not a regular occurence and you're in no more danger of being attacked by them than you are by any other member of the 6th form, if not less so, because they are with someone who knows them well and can spot a foul temper brewing, rather than if one of your 'normal' 6th formers is having a bad day and decides to lash out in which case there's no one to stop it or manage it.

    If you've managed to get through the whole of your school life and never be touched by someone in a bad mood then I'm ver glad for you, but you've had an easy ride. There are all kinds of people in the world and you need to learn to live with them at some point.

    They shouldn't get away with it, but neither should you overreact.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Deleted post. People ask for advice then when they don't like what they're told they start arguing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loopi, considering the issues you've been facing recently I expected more sympathy over what basically constitutes a physical assault from you.

    At no point, ever, in any situation, should anyone have to put up with an act of physical agression.

    Careers for people with disabilities which make them prone to violent outbursts implicitly agree to having to deal with it, and get training.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No one has said that this girl was prone to violent outbursts though.

    Fiend, if you're going to call that physical assault with all the implications that go with that then I hope you never work with children, ever. A one off hair pulling doesn't make someone a violent person.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She had a violent outburst, if she didn't have SEN it wouldn't matter if she'd done it 100 times before or this was the first time, she'd be punished. Because she has SEN the procedure is a little different, but the expectation is essentially the same, the OP should be able to enjoy their Sixth form common room without worrying about someone attacking her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No one has said that this girl was prone to violent outbursts though.

    Fiend, if you're going to call that physical assault with all the implications that go with that then I hope you never work with children, ever. A one off hair pulling doesn't make someone a violent person.
    maybe hair pulling doesn't constitute as an assault to you, but it does to others

    PLUS the OP said that their carer "got between them" maybe if they hadn't the attack would have been worse than the pulling of hair
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Again, deleted because apparently my advice is patronising.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Littleali wrote:
    maybe hair pulling doesn't constitute as an assault to you, but it does to others

    PLUS the OP said that their carer "got between them" maybe if they hadn't the attack would have been worse than the pulling of hair

    Indeed, it wasn't exactly a little tug to get someone's attention either was it, she removed a handful of the OP flowing locks.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If it was me I would want to make sure it was documented, and that the college knew that incidents of this nature are now 'forseeable' and therefore they are legally liable in future should another incident occurs.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't think I'm ever going to agree with some of the opinions on this thread, and some of you are never going to agree with me.

    Everyone has a right to education without fear. Someone without a SEN would have it reported and action taken. In this case we know it's been reported and I'm pretty sure action has been taken. Because of the way the systems work I suspect that there will be far more input put into preventing a recurrence for the girl with SEN than there would be had it been another member of the 6th form that had done it.

    At the end of the day Ballerina comes across as having her head screwed on so I'm sure she can look at this, engage her pretty little brain and make her own decisions.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Another post deleted where I completely stuck up for ballerina against someone else but also deleted.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A joke to Scary Monster deleted.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Now edited. C'mon, it began with B, I wasn't that far off!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loopi, it was more than pulling my hair to get my attention - she wouldn't let go, which is why i lost some when pulling it out of her hand.

    I do think we need to be more informed on who exactly we're sharing our center with because we know nothing about them, just that they all have a mental disability of some description.

    I know nothing about the girl who got me, i don't know if she's prone to outbursts or what. Her carer did say that she's very quick and was asking about my neck. So to me it sounds like she has outbursts on them - which is probably to be expected. But it's not expected to happen to pupils at our school.

    I'll talk to my head on 6th form next time i see her. I'm assuming she's been told because they'd have to tell school.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    to be honest i think if you do kick up a fuss people are likely to complain at you for not liking disabled children or something, especially the parents of the children as most of them are probably safe to be around although maybe you should informally aware one of your teachers that it happened so they can decide what to do and, if it happens to someone else then they can do something about it.
    It sounds quite dangerous though if she normally goes for people's necks...thats quite worrying if she was alone with another pupil
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    playdead wrote:
    to be honest i think if you do kick up a fuss people are likely to complain at you for not liking disabled children or something, especially the parents of the children as most of them are probably safe to be around although maybe you should informally aware one of your teachers that it happened so they can decide what to do and, if it happens to someone else then they can do something about it.
    That's what i'm worried about - as soon as you complain about something, you're immediatly accused of being prejudice towards it. I don't have a problem with sharing our 6th form with them, i don't see the point, but i don't have a problem. I do have a problem with us not being informed on what they can and can not be capable of however. I'm sure most of them are harmless, and they are. There is a boy who now goes there and was in my tutor group for 5 years - he always comes up to me to say hello in the morning. I think it's good that we have a special school - because there seem to be so little now. I just know so little about the whole situation, i'm not sure how to go about it all.
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