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Scientific Proof Santa Doesn't Exist
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
in General Chat
I post this every year so here we go for another year.
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim,
Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this
reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378
million (according to the population reference bureau). Assuming an
average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that computes to 108 million homes - presuming there is at least one good child in
each.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to
west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop
out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the
remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left
for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh, and get onto
the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is
evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be
false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are
now talking about 0.78 miles per household. This amounts to a total
trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.
This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest
man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4miles
per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles
per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO
set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons,
not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can
pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying"
reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done
with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them.
This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh,
another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen
Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650
miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up
the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the
earth's atmosphere.
The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of
energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames
almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and
creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer
team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right
about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it
matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a
dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs
and reducing him to a dribbling mess of twitching innards.
Therefore, if Santa ever did exist, he's dead now.
Merry Christmas everybody.
There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in
the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim,
Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this
reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378
million (according to the population reference bureau). Assuming an
average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that computes to 108 million homes - presuming there is at least one good child in
each.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to
west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop
out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the
remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left
for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh, and get onto
the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is
evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be
false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are
now talking about 0.78 miles per household. This amounts to a total
trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.
This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000
times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest
man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4miles
per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles
per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO
set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons,
not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can
pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying"
reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done
with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them.
This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh,
another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen
Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650
miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up
the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the
earth's atmosphere.
The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of
energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames
almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and
creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer
team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right
about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it
matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a
dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs
and reducing him to a dribbling mess of twitching innards.
Therefore, if Santa ever did exist, he's dead now.
Merry Christmas everybody.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
0
This discussion has been closed.
Comments
Unless your one of those nasty people who tell children he dont exist. lol
j/k
Well you two certainly took the fun out of this thread :rolleyes:
I didn't work it out. Some guy in America did. So take it up with him.
Miserable bastard! You are basing your claims on the fact that you assume that Santa is a normal human being. He isn't! He is magical. Like the Easter Bunny.
That is my speciality.
I thought that was Jesus?
And to you Scrooge
The lump of coal that materialises on Christmas morning may very well BE Santa after the instantly combusts!
That's where you show up your lack of knowledge, Santa isnt carbon based.
Well any normal person might believe that Santa is some form of superhuman being and perhaps as such, is carbon based like the rest of us.
But please tell o wise git, what element is Santa based on?
He has a sleigh? Cool!
I think that tells you a lot about the sort of person you are.
Haven't you ever watched Miracle on 34th street? It explains quite catagorically that Santa has the unique powers to slow down time so that an hour becomes a day, a minute becomes an hour, a second a minute and so on. Next christmas before posting this again, watch that film, and you may just discover that contrary to your 'scientific evidence' he does exist
Santa is just a ploy to provoke people to buy things for kids.
Christmas is a pagan festival absorbed by the Church and thier changing of everything.
Christmas today is nothing but commercialist whorism and exploiting people.
/Sorry for taking more of the "fun" out of Christmas if you call the rich padding thier wallets with our cash from overpriced shite "fun".
/Appologies again.
Sure Christmas is sad in the way that you portray it, but what about the happiness and joy of children during Christmas. Sure there's a dark side, but there's also a bright side to it, you cynic.