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Sex with an ex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Is it really not a good idea?
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Well yeah.
But then it's not really sex that's the issue, it's whether they want to get back together or not.
And the end of that sentance is the reason why you shouldn't do it, no matter how much you want, it will only mess your head up. You need a clean break not to go back over old territory.
No
I'm still not certain what I'm going to do about it, but will think some more.
Thankyou for the replies though.
what do you want to achieve from having sex with your ex, anything?
I don't really want to achieve anything, I know that it's a bad idea for me to get back with him, and I don't want to- so I won't be thinking in the 'ooh we've had sex, so he'll want to get back with me' way, I've kinda seen the light! I just want it to be sex with a friend type situation. I'm sure I still have feelings for him though.
in your case i wouldn't say having sex together was a good idea.
just do what you think's right. if you sleep together you sleep together, worse things have happened. just be careful.
Cheers What I think is right is giving it a go, you only live once etc, but at least then I will learn either way, like I said though, will think a lot more about it yet
Who's to say he won't anyway? This is just something else to think about as if you're no longer together then he doesn't have that same commitment of loyalty to you.
If exes are still sleeping together, then generally it means there isn't acceptance that things are over. Lucifer's experience does sound slightly different to most, as it sounds as though she and her ex are just close friends anyway - sometimes if you want to have sex and haven't met someone new, then it can feel right to go back to what you know if no new partners are involved.
If someone is trying to make you feel bad for not having sex with you then that isn't a sign that you are 'close friends' it's more of a sign that there is a power trip going on.
Have a look at this article on getting over it to remind yourself of the dos and dont's.
Take care - and look out for yourself, not your ex
that's like 99 people tell you not to jump from the cliff, and a single one says do jump! you will rise, and fly like an eagle.
Sounds like a swell idea to sex someone who you have feelings for, but it's very sure you are going to deeply regret it.
go ahead, while I wait for the sequel-thread then.
I did it, and it hurt us both even more.
I disagree. It hurts ONE of those two. If it was such an issue for both involving parties, then they would start going out again, not?
If both care or do not care it's a lovely thing.
but usually it's a dependence/power-relation, imho.
For this reason, it would be a very bad idea.
Trust me, I'm talking from experience
yeh it's not nice thinking of an ex sleeping with someone else. especially while you're still sleeping with them. we don't have sex on a regular basis or anything just when we see eachother..it sort of just happens.
me and my ex have never asked each other whether we'e slept with anyone else since we split up. i'm not naive so i'm going to assume he has. they can't be that good though if he still comes back for more.