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young women - it's your world

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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That's not the attitude i'm talking about.
    well you were talking about going off and making her aware that you could leave. If it bothered you that much then you'd leave, instead of dangling the prospect infront of her to keep her where you want her.
    Both people are entitled to leave the relationship if they want - you both should know that without having to threaten it each time someone does something the other doesn't like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well personally I like my other half to know that I can and will walk at any point, I don't tell them that but they just "know" anyway, which is better.
    And do you like her to know that she can walk away at any time? It seems to me that you bascially want a girl who's exactly like the guys you're talking about. One that will chase after you. I like my girls with more self respect than that. Maybe it's just that I have enough self-belief to think that even though a girl could leave me for someone else at any point, she won't because she finds me interesting enough to stay with me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SophiA wrote:
    And I've got great tits too.

    :o

    You can't make a statement like that on P&D without backing it up with evidence, you know ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SophiA wrote:
    I would NEVER lower the tone of P&D by posting such filth :razz:

    Huh? The tone can get lower? :confused:

    Besides, I have e-mail you know...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    well you were talking about going off and making her aware that you could leave. If it bothered you that much then you'd leave, instead of dangling the prospect infront of her to keep her where you want her.
    Both people are entitled to leave the relationship if they want - you both should know that without having to threaten it each time someone does something the other doesn't like.

    :yes:

    Shame that game-playing doesn't stay in the playground.
    Most i've spoke to agree that women are mainly the selectors, you can see this by how many men girls will turn down men in a second when out socializing, by turning it around and showing in various ways that YOU as a man are the selector she may see more value in you than other men, in fact I guarentee it.

    So? I've known men who won't give a woman a second look when out socialising either, however, I'd imagine that with you and the people you've spoken to, if women took the 'selector' approach, they'd not get as much sympathy and agreement from it, they'd just be manipulative women who like to play games and make threats. Jeez, people of the opposite sex are not impossible to read or out to get or humiliate anyone, sure there are jerks out there, I must have dated half of London's, but this pattern of trying to assert so much power so early on sounds really offputting, anyone with enough self-esteem would run a mile, would you want to be left with the ones who don't feel 'valued' enough in themselves to?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SophiA wrote:
    I can't understand why anyone would spend their life so consumed with strategising and plotting every move in their relationship when they could just behave like an adult and be upfront and honest about things, but hey, maybe I'm just old fashioned like that.

    I don't think you're old fashioned at all. I think it's the best way to be. I dated a guy a while ago and he always used to say 'you're pulling my strings in exactly the right way to get me to go out with you' ???? When actually i was just being myself, and being honest with him. I really don't understand all these games people play in their relationships. If me and my partner have a disagreement, we have a row, we calm down, we sit down and talk it about and one or other of us will see the others view was right.

    Oh BTW Sophia, nice tits ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's not about making her aware I can leave, it's about doing what makes me happy and if my girl has pissed me off in some manner I can easily go spend time with other people or find myself a new girl.

    But the attitude you're putting across is the 'put up or shut up' one, and that doesn't really bode well in relationships if you want to keep the lines of communication open, if you want them open at all. Would you really say to someone, "Here's the deal, this is x, y and z, and if you piss me off in some way, I'll still go out, or I can find someone else." - it's not a dictatorship, and while my boyfriend doesn't put up with any shit from me and vice versa, our way of dealing with it is talking rather than taking what sounds like quite a juvenile approach and avoiding the issue or trying to change partners when someone has a strop. That doesn't make us pushovers, or whatever else, we're just unwilling to put up with behaviour that you'd do yourself in response to behaviour you yourself wouldn't put up with.
    People who abuse their partner emotionally to control them are a discrace, the whole point in me being with so many girls is so that when I do find my little princess I can keep the spark without having to do all that weak shit, which up to now, I seem to be doing well.

    Out of interest, what constitutes 'weak shit' ?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SophiA wrote:
    Oh god, this will be where he starts warning us all against the dangers of "supplicating" again, whatever the fuck that means....

    Do I want to know? I don't have to start cooking yet, so yes :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This all sounds like far too much work for me.

    I'll stick with doing what I'm doing, it seems to work pretty well.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I will not change myself or my values just to keep someone in a relationship.

    Isn't that a little short sighted? You don't have to resort to being a Stepford partner, but one of the great things about relationships is how another person in your life can change your perceptions. For instance, before my partner met me, he had very set views on certain issues, and so did I. After lengthy discussions we've become more open minded about certain things. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend is one of the most stubborn people I know (48 hour hunger strike when he was 6 :rolleyes: ) but I'd find it very difficult to talk to him if I didn't know he wasn't open to new ideas etc.

    Maybe you're just dating the wrong people? By the sounds of it, had I read the next paragraph, I would have assumed it was a parent talking about a child, rather than two adults in an adult relationship.
    men who runn off in a strop because he can't get his own way, the real manipulative games that some people think they have to use to keep a girl. Before you relate that to me, that's not how I act.

    That may be your perception of it, but to me, a guy going off to meet his friends or dumping one girl for another 'because he can' strikes me as someone who is stroppy but in a different way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do feel like that, it's my way or the highway as they say ;)

    To define it better, I will not change myself or my values just to keep someone in a relationship.
    so a relationship has to be how you say or she gets the boot?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go_away wrote:
    :yes:

    Shame that game-playing doesn't stay in the playground.
    i'm not very good at arguing so i'm very flattered that someone agrees with me in the p&d forum!! :)

    sorry off topic! carry on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she knows I am a player and could find myself another little princess.
    so you're admitting you're a player yet you've been moaning with the OP about women who are basically players aswell?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you are a young woman - say 20 something up to, well, as young as you feel... the world is really your oyster.

    Young, pretty, smart, social creature, economically independent. Leading in education. Centre of all things social...

    Guys are like buses, there will be another along in 5 minutes. Take guys for granted. We are ignored most of the time.

    Social creatures, access to any situation by default without suspicion of sneaky agenda.

    sounds like a female player to me? its all about the chase?

    whats your definition of a player?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: young women - it's your world

    Wow, thanks for all your replies guys and girls.

    No I'm not bitter, bored yes - going out to places full of students or secretaries or both. Yes they are nice to look at, yes I get ignored, but its all so superficial.

    Places where people go to be seen. Unfriendly places, people walking around with scowls.

    No I haven't just been dumped! :)

    Girls know guys like looking at them and they take it for granted. Guess I'm a bit bored of it. Need something with a little more substance. Of course I like a girl to be attractive but that doesn't mean a certain way.

    I like making trouble but I think everything I said is true. Girls are the centre of all things social. Girls like to be with girls, socialising. Guys the same. Who wants to go out and just see a place full of guys? Why do pretty girls work in HR? reception? PR? diplomacy? PA?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    sounds like a female player to me? its all about the chase?

    whats your definition of a player?

    Every girl! It's all there - take it for granted hun!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    red_jelly wrote:
    So rather then see it as a problem, I see it as an inspiration. "Yeah, I'd liek to be a little bit more like that!"

    Spot on!

    It's not really a problem. Actually this is what I believe and I wanted to share it. See if other agree.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    NEWSFLASH! Not all women are the same just as not all men are.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Every girl! It's all there - take it for granted hun!
    all girls are players?? :eek2:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    good lord how many countless times have we been here, do we have to bring this drivel into p+d.........if we're talking about male/female power dynamics, let me go off on a bit of a tangent, i was chatting with my friend last week who's a bit pissed off with her boyfriend, she thinks he's gotten too comfortable and she blames herself for being too nice from the beginning, now he takes her for granted and doesn't ever think he'll lose her (not if i have anything to do with it :naughty: ), and isn't there for her when she needs him......she says the reason her parent's marriage works so well is because her father knows if he stepped out of line that her mother would leave him in a flash, and could find another bloke no problem, she says her mum's always joking about it but her father knows it's true, and this is what keeps them together........of course they love each other etc etc, and it would probably have to be something extreme for her to leave him, but because he knows she could find someone else, he is always a great husband and doesn't take the piss........

    now i'm not sure i completely agree because it's not just the insecurity that keeps them together, but it's true that you don't miss something until it's gone, and anything that comes easy in life doesn't have as much value, this was my problem with girls for a long time in so much as when I really liked them I was far too keen and then they lose interest and use you like a tap......i've had the same discussion with a few girl mates and they all say the same thing, you have to show your interested but don't be so keen, i have to say i've tried this approach and it works........it also explains how when I eventually lost interest and gave up chasing the girls suddenly couldn't get enough, by that time it was too late and I'd moved on..........but anyways, shouldn't this be in relationships?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Girls are the best players because of all the attention they get, especially high social status girls.
    he said all of them though. I'd certainly like to know how having a vagina makes you a player.

    I agree that in a relationship you shouldn't take it for granted that they'll never leave you, but you can't keep them under the thumb with the fear that you can walk either.

    I'm quite touchy after one of my best friends has practically been turned into a puppy dog by her boyfriend and won't see the light. And he seems to use the technique of threatening to leave or making her paranoid that he will leave for something better. It's depressing to see and not be able to do anything.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why do pretty girls work in HR? reception? PR? diplomacy? PA?

    And why don't they work in big business? High-level politics? Why aren't they all high-fliers in the stock market, in commodities?

    Because women don't have the power, that's why.

    All this drivel you've just come out with, all it shows is how little power women really have. Oh sure, a nice slim pretty young thing with a nice rack might get herself a nice job as a PA to some slimy CEO, but she won't get to be the CEO. And if you're fat and frumpy? Well, you might get a job in a call centre on night shift if you're really lucky.

    Nothing of what you say is true, and nothing of what you say is new. Sure, women are quite successful at being little trinkets for the men, and sometimes they use their beauty to get things from men. But they don't ever get the top jobs with the top kudos, because women are supposed to the social toys for the men, not the leaders of men.

    As for women having the power in relationships- hardly. Is that why men can go off and fuck their secretary knowing full well that their wives can do nothing about it? Because all the power wives have in social circles is bound up in how successful her husband is, and the only sanction a woman has- divorce- does more damage to the woman than the man.

    This world is still run by cavemen, women are still second-class citizens. The fact that you base your argument on the youth and beauty of women shows just how little power women really have- the worth of a woman is based in how nice her tits are, and how many men think she has nice tits.

    But hey, I suppose its easier for you freaks to claim that women have all the power, instead of facing the real truth here. The real truth, of course, is that women don't have the power to use and abuse as many men as they want, the power is always with the men, and that the reason you can't get laid is because you are a socially inept loser.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Girls are the best players because of all the attention they get, especially high social status girls.

    Hardly.

    Men are the best players because they have the economic and political power to make or break any woman they choose.

    Lets take Prescott as a good example here. Rather than his secretary having the power to use him and brush him off, what's happened is that she looks like a tired old tart and he looks like a fucking stud. As for his wife, well, everything she has in life is bound up in him, so she can either throw away a life's work in the divorce courts or she can "stand by her man" as he goes off to bone even more civil servants.

    Whilst men are defined as virile if they can pork a tidy bird, and it doesn't do their image much harm, their entire career and life is not bound up in who they marry.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SophiA wrote:
    *applauds*

    What Kermit said :yes:

    Respond to my tit compliment please :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
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