If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Molly better known as Misbah Iram Ahmed Rana
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/highlands_and_islands/5304126.stm
so it turns out that the girl wanted to get away from her mum!!!
i knew something was wrong with the mother. ive always thought her performance in front of the media was somewhat ingenuine. using the forced marriage card of course will always be emotional, but she was ridicuolous. even though the mother is the legal guardian, i think Misbah should be allowed to stay with her father. mothers usually win the rights to custody of the child in divorces. if she could immediately jump into conlcusion and accuse the father of abducting the girl for forced marriage, its easy to see how possible it is for her to make a similar emotional plea in front of the courts.
what do you think? should the girl be forced to go back to the UK?
so it turns out that the girl wanted to get away from her mum!!!
i knew something was wrong with the mother. ive always thought her performance in front of the media was somewhat ingenuine. using the forced marriage card of course will always be emotional, but she was ridicuolous. even though the mother is the legal guardian, i think Misbah should be allowed to stay with her father. mothers usually win the rights to custody of the child in divorces. if she could immediately jump into conlcusion and accuse the father of abducting the girl for forced marriage, its easy to see how possible it is for her to make a similar emotional plea in front of the courts.
what do you think? should the girl be forced to go back to the UK?
0
Comments
She's 12 years old - she's certainly not old enough to make her own decisions on issues this big.
what if say she gets to stay with her father. then after awhile she decides that she wants to go back to the uk. would you say that shes not old enough to make her own decisions?
It would prove my point she's not old enough to make her own decisions
have you never changed your mind over something? im sure you have. so does that mean that your not old enough to make your own decisions?
perhaps you think too little of children. a lot of parents let their children choose when buying a car or house. why would the parents let them if they aint old enought to think? also age isnt always a good measure of a persons ability to make decisions. misbah seem to have the capacity to talk to the media to say what she wants. you can argue that a lot of children her age would shy away from making such comments in front of vicious animal journalists.
Er teah I've changed my mind, but never over something as fundamental as whether I live with my Mum in Scotland or my Dad in Pakistan.
I think a lot of children. I have them. But as parents we are responsible, its our duty to stop our children doing what they want, because when I was twelve I would have quite happily never gone to school, gorged myself on hamburgers etc. And whilst I might listen to children on what car to buy or where to get a house it would be mine and my wives final choice, because at twelve I'm pretty sure my choice would have been a lamborgini and a house next door to my best friend - and these would not have been very good decisions.
And I don't for one second think she has made an informed decision, if she's actually had any say in the decision at all. Still, if she'd rather be treated as a piece of meat, she's in the right country.
But then its quite obvious that this particular choice of yours isn’t very productive. of course, the parents wouldnt agree if the child wanted to get a lamborghini because its not a family car. parents wont let the child choose any car. if the parents would let their children decide on things, the parents would give the children a set of options to choose from.
When I was thirteen i moved to a boarding school in California. My parents didn’t want me to go because ultimately they would miss me. But I knew the course was the best option for me. And it was. I am now at a great advantage over other people I knew, which I wont expound at the moment. It took me a year before the move trying to convince my family. And I have to admit that my reasons of wanting to stay in the school changed from before I left, but I felt and I knew what I wanted and had to do.
now as for you. i wouldnt find it hard to believe that you dont get out and score that much.
i have to agree that the way most muslim countries treat their women isnt acceptable. but have you seen some of the women here on weekend nights? aare they not being treated as meat? women here may not be abused as some fundamientlist countries do, but they definetiley are disrepected. and i would have to say that they are treated like pieces of meat here more than otehr countries, more than other european countries, even more than america i should say. have you heard of the spanish joke, why arent there as many prostitutes in England? because the women are sluts.
PS. i do apologise for the ladies that find this offensive. of course the point above doesnt apply to everyone. kick my brass balls if you want. i love you all anyway.
wasn't obvious when I was twelve, so if had the choice I'd have done it. Luckily I didn't have the choice, because my parents quite rightly made me do what they thought was good for me, rather than what i did. Now sometimes they were probably wrong, but a lot less often and with less damaging consequences than I did
So they don't give them the choice do they? The parents choose the type of car they like and then allow the children to choose between options the parents already agreed with.
assuming you didn't run away it still remains the parents choice, you even admit you had to persuade them. Now I don't care if this girl decided to persuade her Mum to send her to Pakistan - I'm not arguing that parents shouldn't listen to their children's wishes and if her Mum decided to listen to her pleadings and then thought it was the best thing to do I'm fine. I'm arguing that at twelve she is not old enough to unilaterally make that decision
okay. but when it comes to choice, we are always limited to our options. as with the girl, it was either her mum or dad. choosing not to stay with either of them wouldve been outside the set options, the same way the lamborghini is outside the family car options.
but you should also note that Misbah had threatened in the past to run away. so her desire to leave wasnt at the spur of the moment. and i would think decisions concerning something as fundamental as this, as you say, require much thought and reflection.
and she clearly differentiates her "mum" with her "family".
She may will do - but lots of girls at twelve would prefer to live with the other parent - simply because its the one that looks after them who has to do all the disciplining, telling off, making them eat their meals etc, etc which as twelve year olds we don't like. The other parent doesn't have to do this and often makes up for being away by showering them with presents.
At twelve she isn't able to take that type of decision, that's why we don't allow twelve year olds to have sex, vote, drive a car, join the army etc
plus, shes converting into islam. she will have to follow all the rules which are very strict as you may all know. we can argue that shell get more disciplining in terms of her lifestyle there than here.
look sex is different. its a very emotional and intimate social bonding activity that can be heavy on ones psyche. and i can expound on this philosophically but at another time. when choosing to vote a political leader, youd have to know of the political and social issues involved, and if you teach somenoe like her all the issues im sure shed be able to make a significant choice. but this opens another avenue for argument. joining the army we can say, the physical maturity is a factor. and regarding driving a car, havent you seen Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom?
Agree with the first bit - but this isn't due to the fact that she was taken to Pakistan, would have the same sentiments even if she was taken to Park Avenue in New York.
Country here is irrelevant, unless she really was taken there in order to have an aranged marriage or something similar - which would make the case even worse.
I think her Mum and the media claimed that, but no idea whether it's true or not. From her interview she seems to claim not.
At the same time, being older than many of the posters here I perhaps have a slightly different view in that I can look back on when i was younger and think thank fuck that I had parents who cared enough to say 'no'.
Silly girl.
her choice.....
strangely or not, some people like to be covered up if they feel people talk to them for their mind, not their cleavage on display
some people like the opposite a la romford on a friday
If the girl wants to move to Pakistan and her father consents then the father should have to go through the British courts; to tolerate anything less allows the opportunity for child abuse and kidnap. - Not that either is necessarily applicable in this case - although one would imagine on either side there is perhaps more to this story than has been said.
Tbh though even if she was kidnapped the Pakistani authorities won't do anything, lets not forget Pakistan is our 'ally' that for several years has been turning a blind eye to Islamofascists within its borders attacking British troops...
You might say that's because Mike would be an adult, but I don't think that's the reason they would.
I think she's a stupid girl and she will regret it, but no doubt we'll see her back here in four years. She'll get a nice shiny arranged marriage, and we'll see all his family tagging along too on her lovely British passport, and they'll all live happily ever after in a terraced house in Keighley.
youre all treating this person as if shes a piece of property!!! its always about who owns her and shit! be a person and listen to what this child is saying for christ sake. god dammit. the mentality of some people.
okay. so to get the legal issues dealt with, she comes to the UK courts and go through all the shenanigans. but in your opinion, from what we know so far, who do you think should Misbah stay with? the mother or the father? and why?
Not at all, it's about her legal status and, legally, she is not in a position to make such decisions on her own. Morally, I would agree with that too.
Sure her views should be taken into consideration, but there is a legal process in place to make sure that the "best interests of the child" are given the highest priority. Sometimes that isn't the same as letting them do what they want.
I think that she should stay with the person who is best able to look after her interests. I do wonder if her father is that person, given the actions of the past couple of weeks.
Surely it wasn't too much to speak to her mother first, was this really the best way forward?
That might be the case, but until further is known then the above statement is stepping the line.
We don't know why she might have wanted to leave Britain? I can perfectly sympathise with her being torn between two identities, and perhaps feeling less alienated in Pakistan exactly due to comments and assumptions as quoted.