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Divorce grounds
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My soon to be ex wife wants to divorce me on the grounds of adultary. I have not commited adultary but I am with some one. She did originaly intend to divorce me on 2 years seperation. She had an affair 1st (thats what broke our marrage)
What are the implications of letting me do this to me? I am not that botherd becuase I just want an end to it all. However my new partner is not happy at being named. I dont want to give my soon to be ex her address as I am concerned about reprisals.
SDA
What are the implications of letting me do this to me? I am not that botherd becuase I just want an end to it all. However my new partner is not happy at being named. I dont want to give my soon to be ex her address as I am concerned about reprisals.
SDA
0
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If you had committed adultery then the other person doesn't have to be named, it can just say "unnamed female" on the forms.
Are there any children from the marriage?
Does admiting it cast some kind of slur on my charictor? Not that I am bothered. I just am un easy admiting something I have not done. But at the same time I do want it over. I hate being married to her. SDA.
Irreconciable differences is another option.
Well then my advice is,
1. Don't give her the address, there's no reason to. She doesn't have to name anyone.
2. It doesn't cast a slur on your character as far as anything to do with the courts or the divorce is concerned, the only thing is she could potentially hold it over you in the future in two ways,
a. Telling people you were the one to blame for the divorce and showing them the papers (hence my question about children.)
b. Like I said, it's perjury, so are there likely to be any further court proceedings in future? (Also hence question about children.)
Fiend, I'm guessing she will probably refuse to admit adultery. "Irreconcilable differences" isn't actually a grounds for divorce as such, the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage must be proved by evidence of one of five "facts":-
Adultery
Unreasonable behaviour
Desertion
Two years' separation with consent
Five years' separation without consent
Sda, if you want to divorce her and she won't admit adultery you could always do it on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour. Having an affair is pretty unreasonable after all.
As long as she's willing to admit it or he's got proof.
Probably not too relevant to your question anyway. Why is she saying you committed adultery when its not true? Just to be spiteful? Have you spoke to your solicitor about this?
but surely its principles. she was happy enough to have the affair so she should be happy enough to own up to it,
i wouldnt take it personally, id divorce her on inconsolable differences if she couldnt accept that then id do it on adultery.
nb i dont think it can even be classed as adultery if the marriage parties have already seperated anyway so shes fighting a losing battle
dont put up with it mate, put up with enough shit from her before by the sounds of it!
Oh, and how long ago did you find out about it? Because you only have 6 months from that time to file a petition. The only way round that is if she makes a fresh admission to you about committing adultery on an occasion you didn't previously know about, then you have 6 months from that admission.
It's not just women who behave badly. Plenty of women are married to total bastards.
You may not care now... but think carefully. You might in the future.
Don't know if I should admit this, but I was in EXACTLY the same situation as you. I let my ex do the same thing, for exactly the same reason that you're considering it - because I wanted it over and done with quickly and I didn't care, even though it was HIM who had affairs. I just wanted him out of my life.
If I could go back and do it over I wouldn't do it like that, that's for sure. He's taken every opportunity since to tell people (including our children, who no longer believe it thankfully) how I was an adulterer and he divorced me for it.
Do you have any evidence on her affair?
By the sounds of things you're not getting anywhere, you may aswell do it on unreasonable behaviour which is basically the same thing but less specific.
At the end of the day it really wont matter whats on the divorce papers as long as you get shot of the woman. Once the divorce papers come through its not like most people will be sitting there showing them to everyone, or tbh, if she did, do you really think anyone will care? It will say more about her than it does about you!
I divorced my ex for unreasonable behaviour and he just agreed to it because he wanted the divorce as much as me so it was quicker that way, plus i had it written into the agreement that if he didnt accept (and within a certain time) hed be liable for some extra costs.
I think basically she either admits to it or she doesnt. If she doesnt admit to it, then she obviously doesnt want the divorce that much, and thats gonna be nice for her new partner to know shes contesting it! You might have to do it with 2 years seperation and consent or 5 years seperation without consent if shes gonna be funny.
Photos, letters & phoencalls probably.
Photos, letters, phonecalls, yes, that is the kind of thing.
Itll fly by.