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The one that got away
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I only went out with her for about 3 months and that was 4 years ago - so why can't I get over her?
I was 28, she was 20. She was the only girl I've been with who you could truly call 'good-looking' - she looked like Myleene Klass. I'd never had a woman like that before and I was absolutely nuts for her - but she also made me feel inadequate because she was really intelligent (Mensa IQ of something like 145) and hung out with similar types. I had no idea what she saw in me but she seemed happy enough.
The relationship ended through my own fault - because I felt inadequate I kept lying about stuff, such as saying I also had a university background just so I could feel I was 'keeping up' with her. She found out about all my BS and rightly chucked me.
Anyway we argued and she doesn't really want anything to do with me any more, not even as friends but I can't keep her out of my mind. I keep asking mutual friends how she is, checking her blog for updates, that sort of thing. I really don't want to be doing that - I feel pathetic. I want her out of my mind forever but little things bring back all the memories, such as certain songs we used to listen to coming on the radio and MTV etc.
I found out a year ago she's getting married which hurt me and now I hear she's pregnant and I feel totally crap again. I've had relationships since her which have been distractions more than anything else, which isn't fair on the women involved.
How do I move on from 'the one that got away'?
I was 28, she was 20. She was the only girl I've been with who you could truly call 'good-looking' - she looked like Myleene Klass. I'd never had a woman like that before and I was absolutely nuts for her - but she also made me feel inadequate because she was really intelligent (Mensa IQ of something like 145) and hung out with similar types. I had no idea what she saw in me but she seemed happy enough.
The relationship ended through my own fault - because I felt inadequate I kept lying about stuff, such as saying I also had a university background just so I could feel I was 'keeping up' with her. She found out about all my BS and rightly chucked me.
Anyway we argued and she doesn't really want anything to do with me any more, not even as friends but I can't keep her out of my mind. I keep asking mutual friends how she is, checking her blog for updates, that sort of thing. I really don't want to be doing that - I feel pathetic. I want her out of my mind forever but little things bring back all the memories, such as certain songs we used to listen to coming on the radio and MTV etc.
I found out a year ago she's getting married which hurt me and now I hear she's pregnant and I feel totally crap again. I've had relationships since her which have been distractions more than anything else, which isn't fair on the women involved.
How do I move on from 'the one that got away'?
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Comments
For instance, you obviously explained your lies about being University educated (and feelings of inadequacy) when you split up yet she was unwilling or unable to understand why you lied. I don't agree that lying was good idea but everyone makes "white" lies or "stretches" the truth to make themselves appear more desirable. Just speculating but perhaps she wasn't happy and simply used this as an easy excuse to dump you... That wouldn't be the actions of someone loving or caring, more devious and self centered.
I used to be like that with 2001 and 2003.
But now it's like that's in the past and I do think about stuff when I listen to certain tunes, but things change and people change and move on. They arem't sad memories, they're nice ones.
You need to accept that it's finished, totally. It's a shame that she doesn't want you in her life at all, but that's the way stuff goes sometimes.
It's nice you care, but you really, really have to just cut her out of your life like she's done to you.
It's getting to the point when it's going to fuck up your life if you don't sort it out.
But then I found out she'd been cheating on me.
I feel sometimes like I'll never find anyone as good as her. But in the meantime, I just want to get on with my life. Its tough that she doesn't even want to remain in contact, but think that one day you'll find someone who you'll be so happy with you won't look back. Its just trying to convince yourself that that person won't be this woman. And trust me - I know it's tough. I tend to try not to think abot it and just enjoy spending time with my friends, but I know you can't block it out completely.
Thanks for all your replies btw.
Hmm i dont know about that, like he's said he's already had some relationships and some attention from other girls but that hasnt stopped the feeling of missing the hell out of her or stop thinking about her. I know the feeling.
But most of all, convince yourself that she's part of your past, and that's it. There's no more to it.
(And of course you'll find someone eventually that you like as much, never doubt that.)
Stop asking mutual friends about her
stop checking her blog
stop watching MTV, or wait 2 weeks when the played songs cycle again.
This is the start.