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violence?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel really silly posting this but i need some opinions.
Yesterday my dad was in the shower, then started shouting and swearing cause the bottle of shampoo was empty. Now this is pretty normal. But then he came raging upstairs to my brothers room and started shouting and swearing at my brother for using it up (my dad and brother are the only ones that use the shower) and threw the bottle at him and carried on shouting. Now, i dunno if this counts as being violent or not. If it is should i tell anyone? By the way my mums away for the weekend so we're on our own with him. Last time she went away my dad was shouting at my brother for something, then kicked my door open and started shouting at me too. Now, this is the first time he's actually 'lashed out' but he didn't actually hit my brother. So is it still voilence? If its just the once should i let it go? I don't know what to do.
Yesterday my dad was in the shower, then started shouting and swearing cause the bottle of shampoo was empty. Now this is pretty normal. But then he came raging upstairs to my brothers room and started shouting and swearing at my brother for using it up (my dad and brother are the only ones that use the shower) and threw the bottle at him and carried on shouting. Now, i dunno if this counts as being violent or not. If it is should i tell anyone? By the way my mums away for the weekend so we're on our own with him. Last time she went away my dad was shouting at my brother for something, then kicked my door open and started shouting at me too. Now, this is the first time he's actually 'lashed out' but he didn't actually hit my brother. So is it still voilence? If its just the once should i let it go? I don't know what to do.
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Comments
my advice: forget it
No, its not the end of the world at the minute, but just make sure that you protect yourselves should it get worse. I wouldn't be worried yet, its not crime of the century, but its always a good idea to stay clued up.
I know your parents have been having a rough time of it, so I wouldn't be too hard on him, but just be careful. Problems start with small steps, that's all I'm saying.
i recent years we had a fight once, she chucked a pint of water over me while i was in bed....so i soaked her bed with more water than u can imagine! then we both ended up in the wardrobe! its funny when we talk about it now!
Does depend on how old your brother is though cause if hes like 5 and your dad steamed the bottle in his face, i'd say thats pretty bad. if hes 15 he might get over it.
i'll leave it to him to say something - but he'll probably be too scared to.
I know that it wasn't anything major and i know people have had worse, i'm not making a song and dance about it - but dad does lose his temper easy and has been even more irritable since mum got a new boyfriend. So i was just wondering if i should say something now - just in case. He also came from a violent family.
does anyone know this?
People have arguments and get angry. That's ife.
It doesn't really matter. You can't really expect happy families with happy parents where no one has problems or pressures, it's called reality.
:yes: And it was hardly violence.
and it was a really stupid thing to get angry over - that's the thing. It's just worrying that silly things set him off.
He's not been much of a dad since my parents split up anyway and he'll probably have left by the end of the year. I won't bother saying anything as it will all come back in my face - but if he flies off the rail again i'll say something.
And its always when mums not around so we do feel a bit vulerable.
Parents are rarely perfect. Theyre just human, and parents lose their temper over stupid stuff just as much as non-parents do.
Youre 16 now as well. Maybe you need to stop thinking like a child victim so much.
Well he did finis the shower gel...
Frankly I wouldn't worry, if you had met my step-dad, believe you would have known what being in rage mean... I had to walk on eggs for fucking years... Some people just have short temperit doesn't mea they would actually beat the crap out of you... It's a good preparation for life imo...
There are ways of dealing with that healthily and maturely, though.
In this case I don't think there's too much to worry about- fuck, when I get pissed off the whole kitchen goes flying out the window- but the fact the anger is being targeted at a person would set a faint alarm bell ringing. Especially if there's a lot of fear of what he could do.
The best thing to do is stand up to him if hes being a twat.
Some of you may dismiss violence as something that happens, but I won't stand for it. As far as I'm concerned, for a grown man to start behaving in a violent manner towards his own 14-year old son is dangerous and utterly irresponsible, and should be condemned outright, not laughably dismissed as "just part of life". You may be prepared to make excuses for violence, but I sure as hell aren't prepared to.
Please get off your high horse ya prick!
True, whenever my da got violent I just lashed back, taste of the ole medicine like.
:yes: :yes:
Come on, explain to those readers out there why violence in the home is acceptable. And ideally try to do it without swearing or resorting to petty name-calling and insults.
Tell ya what, whenever you become a parent and go through the shit her da has been going through and be fine and dandy about it, then come back and talk to me about good parenting cos you haven't got a fucking clue.
What the hell are you whinging about now?
I never ever said violence in the home is acceptable - ever. Can you find a quote where I say it?
(By the way I dont wish to ruin a genuine thread and call for help - Perhaps you can PM me if you want have a whinge and moan)