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violence?

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Tell ya what, whenever you become a parent and go through the shit her da has been going through and be fine and dandy about it, then come back and talk to me about good parenting cos you haven't got a fucking clue.
    I'm fully aware that her father's been having a rough time. I fully understand that. Does it excuse violence against one of his own kids? I don't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I'm fully aware that her father's been having a rough time. I fully understand that. Does it excuse violence against one of his own kids? I don't.

    You still don't get it. You don't understand it cos you're so high on your big horse, wanking away, cumming all sorts of shit about how a parent should act. There's a plethora of social, environmental and even genetic factors that have to be taken into account before dismissing this man, it's not something I agree with, but having lived under similar circumstances, I can understand it. End of story.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    turlough wrote:
    Tell ya what, whenever you become a parent and go through the shit her da has been going through and be fine and dandy about it, then come back and talk to me about good parenting cos you haven't got a fucking clue.
    tbh :yes:
    It sounds like her dad is worse when her mum goes away with her new boyfriend..... anyone think he might be having a hard time dealing with it himself?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I'm fully aware that her father's been having a rough time. I fully understand that. Does it excuse violence against one of his own kids? I don't.
    its only throwing an empty shampoo bottle though. Its hardly beating the shit out of him.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ffs it was a little bit of a arguement, i could understand the cerfuffle if he'd beaten you with a belt or something till you bled, but chucking a empty plastic bottle is hardly violence. When i get pissed off i break all sorts.

    Maybe your dad does have emotional problems but this is hardly anything to be majorly worried about, who hasnt had a right roasting off their parents!!?

    To be honest now ballarina, this post and many of your others seem as tho you are trying to find someone to agree with something you already think to back up your own opinion. you are 16 or whatever now, its about time to start making your mind up about stuff. i know at 16 if i was pissed off with my parents they would know about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its only throwing an empty shampoo bottle though. Its hardly beating the shit out of him.
    :yes: agreed. its nothing to get scared about.
    i wouldn't class your dads behaviour as violent unless your dad makes some serious marks on your or your bother's body tbh.
    you also have to understand that everyone will loose their temper from time to time, and what you are explaning here IS normal. ~ there isn't a family anywhere that wouldn't have similar stuff happen. so, unless there is something more serious that you haven't said, then i'd really just forget about it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbh :yes:
    It sounds like her dad is worse when her mum goes away with her new boyfriend..... anyone think he might be having a hard time dealing with it himself?

    I'd put money on that being right tbh. He's wound up at the idea, and has taken it out on the first irritant he's found - an empty bottle. As long as it isn't a regular occurance I wouldn't say it's a serious problem. Maybe have a word, just say you felt a bit frightened that he was going to do something silly, but I wouldn't turn a molehill intoa mountain.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it's that he came and picked on my brother who was doing nothing wrong thats worrying me. I know people lose their temper ect - but he didn't need to come looking for my brother and take it out on him. With my brother being autistic i would have thought he'd know better.
    I know it was only an empty bottle - it's more the fact that my dad was taking it out on someone rather than something. If they'd been having an argument or whatever then i could understand. But my brother was in his room on his computer and not doing anything.
  • JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    Ballerina wrote:
    it's that he came and picked on my brother who was doing nothing wrong thats worrying me. I know people lose their temper ect - but he didn't need to come looking for my brother and take it out on him. With my brother being autistic i would have thought he'd know better.
    I know it was only an empty bottle - it's more the fact that my dad was taking it out on someone rather than something. If they'd been having an argument or whatever then i could understand. But my brother was in his room on his computer and not doing anything.
    I still dont think its a big thing to be honest. Its kinda like telling them "thanks for using the last of it and not telling anyone"

    My mum threw a milk carton at me this morning cause I'd drunk it all and not been out to buy more. Dont think it was violent, she just lost her temper a bit.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ballerina wrote:
    it's that he came and picked on my brother who was doing nothing wrong thats worrying me. I know people lose their temper ect - but he didn't need to come looking for my brother and take it out on him. With my brother being autistic i would have thought he'd know better.
    I know it was only an empty bottle - it's more the fact that my dad was taking it out on someone rather than something. If they'd been having an argument or whatever then i could understand. But my brother was in his room on his computer and not doing anything.
    OK i think you need to call social services. hes obviously going to kill you both in your sleep with an empty toilet roll tube or something :rolleyes:

    Have you never lost your temper ballerina?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You really are making a big deal out of nothing...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    tbh :yes:
    It sounds like her dad is worse when her mum goes away with her new boyfriend..... anyone think he might be having a hard time dealing with it himself?
    :yes: its a really sad situation for you all at the moment, and i'm sure your dad is just finding it difficult to cope knowing that his wife is with another man. hes just venting his frustrations and anger on the first thing he comes across. i feel sorry for him :s
  • **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    koe_182 wrote:

    Maybe your dad does have emotional problems but this is hardly anything to be majorly worried about, who hasnt had a right roasting off their parents!!?

    True, but we can usually recognise when a roasting was justified and when it wasn't. In this case, I think Ballerina is perfectly right to say it wasn't, but as others have said, he was probably stressed and over-reacted because of how he is feeling in himself. This is the key thing that needs to be addressed it would seem.

    Have you tried talking to him about how you feel Ballerina? I think opening up the lines of communication is really important as talking about things calmly might help you and your Dad to feel less stressed. If this doesn't work, then talking to a close family friend might be the best option - are you close to any of his friends as opposed to your mums? as they might be able to offer a better insight into his behaviour. You could explain to them that you want to make things better, but you're not sure how to go about it.

    Alternatively, you could contact our relationships experts here at askTheSite who may well be able to offer some more useful insights into the situation.

    Oh and don't ever feel bad/silly for asking people's opinions on this kind of situation - whether you're 16 or 26 it can be good to get your thoughts out there.
    Take care ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sometimes it really can be a one off Ballerina mate. I really pissed my dad off once when i was a kid and he went far enough to pick up a bit of 2by2 baton. He never hit me with it, and even now I can't think of one single time in my life being more absolutly terrified.

    But I'd just gone too far and he couldn't take it, but it ultimately ended up being nothing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fiend_85 wrote:
    Sometimes it really can be a one off Ballerina mate. I really pissed my dad off once when i was a kid and he went far enough to pick up a bit of 2by2 baton. He never hit me with it, and even now I can't think of one single time in my life being more absolutly terrified.
    I've done that before. I'm about to throw something across the room, and I suddenly get a moment of clairty in my head, saying "expensive". If I want to make a scene or vent some frustration without doing any damage, I throw something worthless, like an empty shampoo bottle. I wouldn't judge him too harshly, unless it starts becoming a regular occurance.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and I suddenly get a moment of clairty in my head, saying "expensive".
    lol
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    and I suddenly get a moment of clairty in my head, saying "expensive".

    i wish i got that!! :o
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I threw two slices of toast at my mum once. She wasn't doing anything, just happened to be in the kitchen, but I was generally having a shit time, and burning my toast was the straw that broke the camel's back.

    What I'm trying to say is that everyone has a breaking point. Everyone. When you have kids you don't become this calm, knowledgeable superperson, you are just the same person you have always been but a whole lot more frightened. Personally, in your situation I'd be inclined to cut your dad some slack.
  • littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Your dad is just having a rough time and took it out on someone else. However, it wasn't *that* big a deal tbh. My dad has gone through rough times and has taken it out on my mum, my brother and myself at times. Yes, he has thrown things, yes he has had temper tantrums, but at the end of the day, that's all it was - a temper tantrum because he was upset over one thing and another.

    Your dad is having it rough and yes, in hindsight he probably shouldn't have done what he did. However, I think that moving on and not dwelling on it is the best thing all round.
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