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bullying at work
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Work & Study
for the past 4 months a member of staff has been making my life a misery.
(this isnt meant to sound rasist)
she's a black lady in her late 40's. im 20 years old. she says things like she wont listen to me cos nothing i saw has any use as i am too young.
she also accuses me of being rasist towards her.
one of my friends at work is gay and has recently got a girlfriend. the black lady has been incredibly homophobic towards her and totally out of order with the things she's said.
i stood up for my friend and the black lady went for me, shouting at me etc.
this was the kick i needed to go to my manager about it. when i talked to her she took it seriously. she then had the black lady in the office. who turned it all round and used 'the rasist card' and now even tho for 4 months she was bullied me quite badly, my manager is believing the black lady.
so ive rung up another home near my house and they lady who owns it seemed very interested in me. she's basically said ive got the job but i need to go in a meet her sometime next week.
i work full time at the moment but as soon as i hear if i've got this job or not i'm leaving.
how much notice do you think i'll have to give? or do you think im well within my right to just walk out?
(this isnt meant to sound rasist)
she's a black lady in her late 40's. im 20 years old. she says things like she wont listen to me cos nothing i saw has any use as i am too young.
she also accuses me of being rasist towards her.
one of my friends at work is gay and has recently got a girlfriend. the black lady has been incredibly homophobic towards her and totally out of order with the things she's said.
i stood up for my friend and the black lady went for me, shouting at me etc.
this was the kick i needed to go to my manager about it. when i talked to her she took it seriously. she then had the black lady in the office. who turned it all round and used 'the rasist card' and now even tho for 4 months she was bullied me quite badly, my manager is believing the black lady.
so ive rung up another home near my house and they lady who owns it seemed very interested in me. she's basically said ive got the job but i need to go in a meet her sometime next week.
i work full time at the moment but as soon as i hear if i've got this job or not i'm leaving.
how much notice do you think i'll have to give? or do you think im well within my right to just walk out?
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Comments
i just feel like if i hand in my notice and then stay there for say 2 weeks it'll be awkward
An idea I had once was to take a Dictaphone in work & record what she is saying then take it to the manager.
Or if the manager is that much of a blind person, take it higher still.
Also just to spite the woman I would report her for not being able to work in the country. Weather or not she is allowed, it would be my way of getting one up on her.
dont sink to her level.
But i agree that it would be an idea if your friend also reported her. And if there is anyone else she is doing this to, get them to report her too. There is strength in numbers.
she isnt english. but i see what you're saying
my friend did report her as well as another member of staff (my deputy manage told me a member of night staff had reported her but didnt wanna be named) so thats 3 people and nother friend of mine who works there has unofficially said something about ber too.
but it seems that she's talked her way out of it. she's the oldest staff there (besides the manager) and its like sh cant do anythign wrong and she's just the sort of person to say 'youre doing this because im black' if she gets disiplined or sacked!
(sorry for the spelling mistakes, i cant type well today for some reason!!)
i dont have the job yet, im getting a call on monday about it. if they said that ive got it, i just wont go back to wokr on tuesday! ive written my resignation letter so ive just got to hand it in. but i dont want to give it in until i get another job
i know i could take it to head office but i just know she'd talk her way out of it, its just whats she's like
I think your gay mate needs to be a man & stand up for you.
Some guy I know recorded something as evidence on a dictaphone (withthe intention of handing it to the police) - the first question the police asked him was - was it a brand new tape?
he said no I just recorded over what was there before
So the police said they can't use it :eek2:
However most MP3 players can record stuff as well
I think that seems a little harsh. However if he plays it to his boss, hopefully he wont ask questions about the tape.
Please don't take HIT's advice. He/she seems determined to give bad advice on this site.
Does this new place know about your situation? If they do, and you get the job (good luck, btw) then yeah, just don't go in. If the new place understand why you might not be able to get a reference from the old place then that's an easy solution.
If you decide you want to stay and fight it out, try getting some independent advice. If your boss has even a handful of complaints about this woman and still chooses to take her word over yours there is obviously something wrong, and you'll have to try different channels. Although I would consider the possibility that your boss feels he has to agree with her to avoid having the race card pulled on him too? It's a horrible accusation to try and shake off.
So really he should just let her get away with the things she has done wrong? Its easy for you to say hand in your resignation & forget about it. Well we dont all let people walk over us. Why should he have to leave because he is being bullied? Thats like saying a child should leave school for being bullied. Shouldn't it be the bully made to leave?
OP if you want to just let her walk over you & be bullied by this women, without trying to prove your innocence (which you shouldnt have too) then take littlemisery advice.
But honestly, you shouldn't have to put up with this. I hope you can prove her of being the bully. Really its a matter of principle.
That's quite witty. Hilarious :yeees:
The advice of yours that I wouldn't follow is:
If you read what I wrote I did say that no-one should have to put up with bullying.
BB, I think you are doing the right thing giving the circumstances. Just be wary incase you *do* need to get references in the future, that's all.
Kaff also has good advice.
*fingers crossed* for tomorrow. It does sound promising but sometimes you can never tell. Let us know if you get it.
Would you want to work somewhere where you reported being bullied and harrassed, and your boss didn't believe you? I wouldn't.
It's easy to say that it's about the principle, but it's not necessarily worth putting yourself through additional stress when you've already been miserable for 4 months. If she is happy to leave, then I think she should, and I think she should encourage all her friends there who have had encountered this woman to do the same.
If you wouldn't follow advice on reporting her, that down to you. Its something I personally would do, or something simular. I very much doubt you dedicated a post to say that, did you?
its now up to 6 people who have complained about her, and who have all backed up what i said.
my manager had her in the office and she said we're all rasist against her including my manager. i think my manager feels like she cant do anything as she'll get accused of being rasist!
im meant to be hearing from this new job today, i rang them yesterday and they said ive got an interview and will ring today to arrange a time! so hopefully ive got the job, i talked for 10 minutes to her the first time a rang and she sounded impressed with the other jobs ive done.
also she does know about my reasons for wanting to leave, she asked me on the phone and i also wrote it on my form, she sounded very understanding.
i feel like the only way i can stay at my current job is for her to leave, and i know that wont happen. its got to a point when i cant even bare to be in the same room as her.
2 of my friends i work with are also now looking for new jobs. its unfair really but we just cant work with her anymore and she's not going to leave and im sure my manager wont sack her because she'll probably sue saying she got sacked beacuse shes black!!
its not that im happy to leave, but i cannot work with her anymore. and shes not going to leave or even be disaplined (sp?)
That's crap. I wonder what will happen if it was the other way around? (someone being accused of doing stuff to her I mean)
Blonde__Batman did say that she thinks her manager can't really do anything because she (manager) might get accused of being rcist. don't think it's got anything to do with not liking her; it's more to do with the way she i wth everyone.
If your boss doesn't believe this woman but still won't deal with her behaviour then you need to go higher, if you can. This is very different from her not believing you.
they've obviously decided they want me out of there. and my manager is doing fuck all about it. im the one who went to her with a problem and its jut getting ignored because this bitch is saying its just because im rasist. thats not right!
i dont want to work there anymore, i've had enough, absolutly enough now. i cant believe that no one is believing me (bar my friends) when im the one who originally when with a complaint!
i am not going to write my resignation, send it to my boss as well as a copy to head office with a letter explaining what has happened. and as soon as i get another job i shall hand it in!
it doesn't matter if shes black or not, she's being a bully and she shouldn't be allowed to get away with it because she's black. She has every right to be sacked just like anyone else would.
I would talk get some professional advice.
If one does mornings and the one does nights, then they might've exchanged a few words between changing over shifts.