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Does the nerd ever get the girl?
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Does the nerd ever get the girl?
i was just wondering this because i never seem to.
im a 20 year old guy with relatively low self confidence, im pretty sensitive (so im told) but i dont know for myself, im pretty quiet, not a huge conversationalist outside my groups of friends,
im also a monogamist(dunno if thats a real word but it sums me up) it means i only like 1 girl at a time, i dont enjoy being this way but i cant help it i always have been, on a downside it means all my eggs are in 1 basket, on a + side it makes me very faithfull, and im not easily tempted,
i love to read, fantasy and historic fiction mostly, im an online gaming nut, and the rest of my interests are pretty nerdlike too, being a nerd doesnt bother me in the slightest im even proud of it but it really damages my confidence with girls,
im a little old fashioned too i love to treat a girl well and was brought up to value manners, however these days manners dont mean what they used to, the only people they impress are the older women i work with, girls my own age sometimes even treat it with outright hostility.
so come on guys and girls, nerds rise up and gimme some success stories and maybe a little hope,
thanks all
i was just wondering this because i never seem to.
im a 20 year old guy with relatively low self confidence, im pretty sensitive (so im told) but i dont know for myself, im pretty quiet, not a huge conversationalist outside my groups of friends,
im also a monogamist(dunno if thats a real word but it sums me up) it means i only like 1 girl at a time, i dont enjoy being this way but i cant help it i always have been, on a downside it means all my eggs are in 1 basket, on a + side it makes me very faithfull, and im not easily tempted,
i love to read, fantasy and historic fiction mostly, im an online gaming nut, and the rest of my interests are pretty nerdlike too, being a nerd doesnt bother me in the slightest im even proud of it but it really damages my confidence with girls,
im a little old fashioned too i love to treat a girl well and was brought up to value manners, however these days manners dont mean what they used to, the only people they impress are the older women i work with, girls my own age sometimes even treat it with outright hostility.
so come on guys and girls, nerds rise up and gimme some success stories and maybe a little hope,
thanks all
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments
If the nerd thinks that because he's "sensitive" and "cares for women" then that's enough to win a girl, then no.
If the nerd is himself, has a sense of humour, doesn't take himself seriously and is prepared to have a punt, then yes.
i think i have a passable sense of humour (low self confidense wont allow me to say anymore than that)
and no i realise that being sensitive isnt enough to get a girl i was just using the word as an insight into my world,
and i am prepared to have a go, however it takes time to build the self confidense up, as for the online gaming thing it is my hobby and i play regularly however do have a relatively good social life,
what i cannot do however is "cold call" girls, i have to feel i know them a little first, i cant just go up to a girl in a bar and ask for her number, its not me,
I don't really get why online gaming is something you see as something that would stop you getting a girl.
Is it any "worse" than going on websites like this, downloading music, or whatever else? There are people on here who never tire of telling us how fit they are, yet being on here isn't really different from playing games?
Where do you draw the line? Do people who play Yahoo Pool not get laid? Solitaire?
So long as it doesn't take over your life then there aint a problem, whatever your hobby happens to be (unless it involves PVC and livestock)
Why would you do that?
Have a chat first, then ask for her number or give her yours.
Very few people actually do that anyway.
i do have a very hard time initiating conversations tho, maybe i take to long trying to get to know a girl i dunno?
thing is tho (and i know this is very unusual) i dont wanna just get laid, i wont deny that it aint in my mind but i want something a little more meaningfull than that, casual sex appart form the thrill and enjoyment of the experience does nothing for me, i dont feel better afterwards or like ive achieved anything
Make sure you are. There's nothing more of a turn off for a girl than someone who agrees with everything she says at the risk of disagreeing and offending her or ruining things.
Being sensitive is something you do when you're alreadty going out with someone when they're upset or feeling down to show you care. Those initial stages are about making someone feel good when you're around them. If someone comes to you with all their problems and you listen patiently and are really sensitive and what have you, the chances are you'll never see them naked. However, if they come to you, and you make them forget about their problems instead, and make them feel happy, then that's when you become boyfriend material.
Not many people can. It's something that some people can do naturally. For anyone else, you have to learn how to do it. However, the ability to chat girls up in bars isn't necessary to meet nice girls. There are plenty of other ways. In fact check out the thread on Best Places to Meet New People, and you'll see that hardly anyone thinks that clubs are good for meeting potential partners.
Oh and to answer your question, nerds with personality are (in a slightly camp accent) so in right now. Think Seth off The OC, Zach Braff, Chandler off Friends, Xander from Buffy, thingy off Spiderman, there's loads of them and the ladies can't get enough.
Just need to find the right opportunity, my girlfriend doesn't really like the same things as me (I love 30's jazz bands and ww2, she's into punk and all that crap) but we get on great (well...most of the time...) and that's all that really matters. It's justa case of being yourself and proud of who you are. When i was asked what my favourite films were i said Kolberg i think us nerds should be proud of it
nerd legend
I tried to 'chat up' this girl that I really liked. It was going really badly and it just wasn't me. So one day I bumped into her on her way to work, I just started talking to her. I was really nervous, but I asked her some questions and told her a little about myself. It worked.
So my advice is, try not to act like a total nerd, keep it bottled up for a few weeks. After a month, my girlfriend now knows exactly how many computers I have and little and my weird hobbies -like learning sign language
if only life were this simple
Thats intreresting (by 'thingy' off spiderman do you mean peter marker?) (toby maguire)
does playing video games watching violent movies and anime flicks make you a nerd
:yes: too true but take it easy on the insults. I was in a bar once and a guy I'd been chatting to suddenly started to insult me based on what I was wearing. I turned round, slapped him, and walked away. It was only after I clicked that he was actually trying to chat me up
There's a Q&A in our askTheSite archive called Beauty and the Geek you might find helpful - a lot of it actually confirms what's already been said (A sure sign that these lot know their stuff
Welcome to TheSite btw
That's the key point, you're content with yourself but you think that people see you a nerd then they aren't going to want to be with you.
Look at me, I'm well into my Disney films. I love old slushy love songs, and I'm not scared to say that I'm maybe not fantastically well educated and I don't have a car or a massive salary, but I'm happy and I think the girl I like likes me for being me.
Chances are you won't be as happy in a relationship if you've totally changed yourself, than you would be if you were yourself.
Life is that simple.
If you can have a punt, and take it on the chin when she says no, then you won't go far wrong.
There's nothing wrong with any hobby, certainly not reading or online gaming (who am I to comment, look at my post count here!) but if it means you never leave your bedroom you won't meet people. That was my point.
I don't think its fair to say that people won't want to be with a "nerd" (God, I hate that word). If you are confident about what you do, and say "this is me, like it or lump it" then you won't go far wrong. People will only find it unattractive if they get the feeling you're ashamed of your hobbies, or if it swallows your entire life.
And what do you mean by that? Likes to read or reads Terry Pratchett books specifically?
Basically you're gonna have to go to a place with girls. These mythical 'girls' are quite social, and probably don't play counter strike in their bedrooms like us
In one way it can make it easier to get along with someone. I think that's what the OP is trying to get at.
I've found this alot. Also, it can be easier than just saying stuff like 'um, I'm sorry, but I don't have a clue what you're talking about'.
Seriously, you've been watching too many programmes aimed for US teenagers. Real life isn't like Saved From The Bell, you know. It certainly isn't the case that, when a man puts on some glasses and dressing in something slightly conservative, that he becomes some kind of "nerd", some social outcast. If you focused more on getting to know some women, and focused less on pointless, artificial labels, you'd have pulled by now.
I wish it was
That programme was so cool.
Aww Screech.
His nerdness was just like so cool.