If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Take a look around and enjoy reading the discussions. If you'd like to join in, it's really easy to register and then you'll be able to post. If you'd like to learn what this place is all about, head here.
Comments
Do you think it would be easy to explain to everyone what exactly they would be spending their money on? Why should they?
they dont have to. The ones who reel off big stories are the most annoying, because people dont always have time to listen to it, yet feel bad walking away.
My point was not that i expect to be told where its going, just not to be lied to.
Did you ever actually stop and chat to any of the homeless people you gave money to?
I wouldn't dream of giving a homeless person cash on the street. Instead I spend my money in charity shops or at charity events, so I know exactly what it's being spent on and who's benefitting from my donations.
Of course.
Do you look at the accounts of the charities you give to?
i think im going to end up giving up here, because you dont seem to be taking any notice of my replies.
Read my last reply, where i said i dont expect to be told, i just expect to not be lied to.
To your last question, ive not given money to homeless people, ive just offered them what they claimed to be wanting money for.
I am taking notice of your replies, which is why I'm replying to them. What I'm trying to do is to understand your replies, understand what has led you to giving me those replies.
Did you actually take time to talk to them?
was said after i had already said this
Which is what made me think your not actualy taking notice of what im saying.
A few times ive had homeless people approach me and give a really long story. ive not really known what to say to them because, well theres not much i can say to someone who's just told me their life story, im not good at talking to strangers as it is! This hasnt happened to me for a few years actually, it happened alot when i was about 17, a that age i didnt appreciate being approached in the dark on my way home from college, i found it intimidating but i was never rude to them, i just told them the truth that i didnt have any money to spare.
But to be honest, if i was to get approached now, im normally in a hurry to get somewhere and would have to tell them sorry but i dont have time
I'm trying to understand what has led you to thinking that and what you actually mean by it. As I said - would you rather someone said "can you spare some change guv'nor cos I'm rattling/need to pay my service charge/need a new pair of shoes/its my kids birthday"? You want them to account to you exactly what they're going to spend the money on?
That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking you if you have ever taken the time to speak to a homeless person as a fellow human being? If you do, they might be more inclined to be honest with you.
My entire point is that it would annoy me if i was told they were going to be buying a meal, and in fact wasnt. Its the lying which is the problem to me. Not the being told or not being told why they need money .
where have i implied that i dont speak to them like a fellow human being? nowhere because i havent implied that at all.
I told you that yes i have taken the time to speak to them, which was the original question.
You're contradicting yourself. You're telling me that you don't want to be lied to, that if its asked for food that you expect it to be spent on that, yes? Then you're telling me that actually you don't want to know what its being spent on? You seem a tad confused to be honest.
Let's see if I can get this straight - even though it easier for someone to say "got ten pence for a cup of tea guv", you'd rather they didn't (if they weren't going to spend that ten pence on a cup of tea), but you don't want to know that they are going to spend it on? Eh?
You're contradicting yourself again. The practicalities of begging are such that asking for money towards food is quick and easy, but not always strictly honest. What would you rather have someone do? Seeing as you're telling me that you don't want to know what they may be spending the money on.
Have you ever taken the time to ask them what their name is, where they from, how did they end up on the streets, what might help them etc?
rather than lie, say nothing at all in my opinion. Ask for spare change and give a reason if asked.
no confusion on my part there.
no i havent had a conversation with a homeless person such as the example questions you gave me, not because its a homeless person but because im shy towards anyone i dont know, homeless or not.
OK, got you now you finally explained yourself. I understand too. However the realities of begging are such that saying you need food is likely to elicit more sympathy than just asking for spare change. It's certainly going to elicit more sympathy from your average joe than saying you need to pay your service charge in your hostel (ensuing conversation "what's a service charge?"), explaining that you haven't had a drink/hit yet and you need one to feel normal etc. It's easier to say you need to eat.
Fairynuff. Don't expect homeless people to be too forthcoming about themselves either.
thought i made myself clear from the start but it would appear im no good at explaining what i mean.
I guess i just find it a bit unfair, and slightly immoral to get people to give them money under false pretences, like a guilt trip. Yeh its probably the best/most efficient tactic of getting money which they need, but i still find it wrong in some way.
(just to reinforce - no, I'm not suggesting that all beggars/homeless people spend their money on drink/drugs)
Unsure about that one.
I reckon quite a few people would, you for one already said you gave money to someone honestly asking for drug money.
So why give "them" a label : "homeless people" ?
Plenty of people demand to know (with threats of violence) what I spend my money on.
Errrr...y'know...people without a home?
Really? Maybe you should move out of your parent's and get your own place.