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Cheated On Gf How Can I Cope With The Guilt?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey im chris and ive just joined this bored, so hi peeps!
Been going out with a women, and ive recently cheated on her, the oppurtunity was right in front of me, so naturally i took that oppurtunity and went for it! Im not usually that kind of person and i still cant understand why i did what i did. I know im stupid for doing it, but just came on here to see if anyone else has done it, and what i can do to cope with the guilt im feeling right now, Chris
Been going out with a women, and ive recently cheated on her, the oppurtunity was right in front of me, so naturally i took that oppurtunity and went for it! Im not usually that kind of person and i still cant understand why i did what i did. I know im stupid for doing it, but just came on here to see if anyone else has done it, and what i can do to cope with the guilt im feeling right now, Chris
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Comments
You always take whats put on a plate do you?
Do the decent thing and tell you gf.
being a cheaters not good... girls talk you know
i'd never cheat on my girlfriend, i'd rather finish it before i did that. but i aint doing that either.
There are several reasons why people cheat on their partner - many of which are explained in the following article: why they were unfaithful
Obviously people on these boards have been quick to judge you and tbh the phrase "naturally I took the opportunity and went for it" doesn't really sum up the feelings of someone who is feeling guilty - which is why I think you are mainly getting the response that you are.
However we can't tell how you are honestly feeling or exaclty what steps to take, so you probably need to really work out why you did cheat in your own head before you decide on your next steps. If you decide that it was because you're not ready for commitment/ are bored/unsatisfied with your relationship then it may well be a good idea to just come clean and move on. If on the other hand you have been feeling insecure, then addressing these issues is as important as deciding whether or not to tell your girlfriend as they could effect the likelihood of you cheating again.
As for the guilt - it will probably take a while to like yourself again, but in time you will accept your mistake and hopefully learn from it. If you feel like it is taking over your life you may find it helps to talk to a counsellor Relate might be a good place to start.
Finally - here is a blog entry about guilt which you might find interesting.
Aw, Helen! The Tabasco Sauce trick has always worked for me ... and there I was trying to be helpful!
Respect dude! I doubt I would even have got it up after that!!!! :eek2:
would anyone want to be with a partner that wouldn't own up to cheating....how cowardly
People are probably going to disagree with what i'm about to say...
It would be wrong of you to own up if the only reason is to get rid of your guilt, that isnt fair on your girlfriend. If you have learned your lesson and arent going to do it again AND nobody else knows i.e. her mates then i say don't tell her at all. You'd probably still feel guilty anyway and make her really upset in the process.
Thats just my opinion though..
What would stop him from doing it again?!
If I was seeing somebody (non serious) and say they were going on holiday or whatever, I would actually say to them before they went that if they did anything with anybody then I don't want to know about it.
So long as nothing in the relationship changed, I wouldn't see the sense in saying anything.
If she would never find out - why would you say anything?
if you regret it then do her a favour and fess up - be a man for gods sake
my thoughts exactly
because you believe they deserve a bit of respect and honesty maybe??
OK i agree with that actually.
Or saving them from having the heartache of hearing something that they can't change.
I can understand why some people are saying don't confess, and I can see why you think he should confess.
Prsonally, I would confess. Would you rather she found out from your best mate?
Like I said, if she didn't tell me I wouldn't know about it, so it wouldn't make a blind bit of difference. I'd never cheat on a girl I had any real feelings for anyway, but if I was in a casual relationship and it happened then I'd either keep quiet or end the relationship.
If it was a serious relationship then it'd be different.