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Ummm, cant think of a title :/
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
My other half has been attempting to quite smoking for a while now, he's using nicotine patches and had a spell of about 4 weeks where he was off the fags totally just using the patches. Then he had a bad day at work and he said he needed to have a fag, we had an argument about it and he went and bought some. He said he wasnt coping on the strength of patch he was on and was going to go back to the doctor. So he smoked for about a week until he could see the doctor again, he got a stronger patch on Friday there and said "I'll start them on Monday".
Monday came around and he started his new patch, all was fine until last night. He was really restless and kept pacing up and down saying he was trying to keep his mind busy to stop thinking about it. Then about 10pm he said he had to go to the shop to buy some fags cos he had bad cravings, que another argument. I went to bed while he was out cos I couldnt face another argument.
So this morning we had a "chat". He said he feels like he's being forced into quitting and he needs to "prepare his mind" to quit. Having never smoked I cant understand or sympathise with him. He's wearing a nicotine patch and receiving (albeit a lower dose) nicotine through that so how can he still be craving a fag? It's not the physical thing of holding a fag, he's said that himself.
Im sick and tired of having the same argument, of going to bed not speaking. He wants to quit for our daughter, although he doesnt smoke in the house or around her, it's not nice him stinking of it.
What can I do to support him but also get him to get a grip and actually quit? Im sick and tired of having the same argument over and over
I think it's going to take something drastic from me to make him realise what he's got to lose but I really dont want to have to do that
Sorry about the length.
Monday came around and he started his new patch, all was fine until last night. He was really restless and kept pacing up and down saying he was trying to keep his mind busy to stop thinking about it. Then about 10pm he said he had to go to the shop to buy some fags cos he had bad cravings, que another argument. I went to bed while he was out cos I couldnt face another argument.
So this morning we had a "chat". He said he feels like he's being forced into quitting and he needs to "prepare his mind" to quit. Having never smoked I cant understand or sympathise with him. He's wearing a nicotine patch and receiving (albeit a lower dose) nicotine through that so how can he still be craving a fag? It's not the physical thing of holding a fag, he's said that himself.
Im sick and tired of having the same argument, of going to bed not speaking. He wants to quit for our daughter, although he doesnt smoke in the house or around her, it's not nice him stinking of it.
What can I do to support him but also get him to get a grip and actually quit? Im sick and tired of having the same argument over and over
I think it's going to take something drastic from me to make him realise what he's got to lose but I really dont want to have to do that
Sorry about the length.
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Comments
It sounds more like a comfort thing almost, rather than the strength of the patches. Having a bad day at work and so needing a fag, it's what he's always done and maybe he doesn't know how to cope without one.
Can he try any other ways to quit, like hypnosis or something?
I've actually been fag free since June 1st, it's not easy but I decided that I have so much to live for now. The first week is the worst.
Although might sound harsh it's true and if anything every time you argue it's gonna make it alot harder to give up.
I gave up 4 years ago now, Chris didn't like it and it gave me another reason to give up.
If he doesn't want to give up enough he won't. He does need to get his head in the righ frame of mind. Thats the biggest thing.
Has he thought about trying the lozenges instead? Thats what i used and found them great as when you feel you need a fag you have one of those instead and you get that "hit" you did with a fag.
I know it's hard for you too. hugs.
Hope everything works out OK for you.
My boyfriend had been smoking since he was 12 or 13 and is now 27. He'd tried giving up on a couple of previous occasions whilst at uni, neither of which lasted very long, but this year the combination of a relative becoming ill and dying of lung cancer and the prospect of the implementation of the smoking laws (i.e. having to step outside the pub for a fag in the middle of a rainy December night) gave him more motivation to quit than I ever could have done. He stopped smoking in mid March, no patches, just will-power and apart from the very occasional drag of a spliff and even more occasional cigar, he hasn't has a cigarette since. It's early days yet, but Im still proud.
Also the smoking ban is already in place in Scotland and that doesnt seem to have had any effect on him since he already goes into the garden to smoke and has done for over a year now. He's smoked since he was 14, he's now 23 so it's been a long time, Im not expecting a miracle overnight I just wish he'd see that there is someone more important than him in his life.
I told him about the Allen Carr stuff before but didnt give it a chance. I really dont know what to do anymore, Im not going to sit back and take it though that's for sure, drastic times call for drastic measures.
Sorry to sound uncaring, i understand but i also know what it feels like from a smokers point of view.
I'm sure he'll get there with time. I didn't mean you personally were nagging, I was making a general point.
Good luck
When I first met my ex-girlfriend 3 years ago I used to go on at her to stop smoking as I didn't really then. I started having the odd one then and then when she did quit she used to do the same to me. It didn't work and I still smoke but I'm not with her any more.
Thanks for the advice everyone