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Another drink prob.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When she starts lying...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    When she starts lying...
    So, she could have one then?
    She won't accept it though. I'm just getting worried, but don't want it to seem as if I'm sticking my oar in type-thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well it is an indication but it doens't mean shes definately got one. It's hard to say really, as we don't know her and how she is.
    I would say probably and is in denial but i am no professional.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like a problem.
    there can be a huge difference between problem drinking ...that can actualy go on for years and even a lifetime ...and alcoholism.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tweety wrote:
    Well it is an indication but it doens't mean shes definately got one. It's hard to say really, as we don't know her and how she is.
    I would say probably and is in denial but i am no professional.
    Ok, thankyou.
    Yeah, I appreciate I'm not going to get proffessional help, but I can't see her wanting to go to the Dr's or similar on her own accord, don't know where I stand with it now. I want to support her, but if she can't say tht she has one, it's dificult.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sounds like a problem.
    there can be a huge difference between problem drinking ...that can actualy go on for years and even a lifetime ...and alcoholism.
    Sorry if this sounds dumb, but what's problem drinking, and how is it different to alcoholism?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    if she can't say tht she has one, it's dificult.
    very difficult.
    i think everyone agrees that one of the symptoms ...one of the first and most difficult symptoms to deal with ...especialy for an alcoholic is a little thing called denial.
    their own brain mind ...goes into a process of denial.
    that can be one seriously bad side effect for an individual to develop from what is marketed ...as a soft drug.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    very difficult.
    i think everyone agrees that one of the symptoms ...one of the first and most difficult symptoms to deal with ...especialy for an alcoholic is a little thing called denial.
    their own brain mind ...goes into a process of denial.
    that can be one seriously bad side effect for an individual to develop from what is marketed ...as a soft drug.
    Yeah, it's hard to keep in mind it is a soft drug. I agree with you though, if it's hard for me, it must be hard/will/could be hard for her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Sorry if this sounds dumb, but what's problem drinking, and how is it different to alcoholism?
    alcoholism is addiction.
    physical mental addiction ...emotional and spiritual in some circles is alcoholism.
    rich and poor alike suffer it ...as well the intelectual and the fool.
    very nasty disease.

    problem drinking.
    i have a mate who i have refused to ever drink with again ...as have people across the north west of england and most of wales ...seriously.
    i havent had a drink with him for five years or more.
    i see him as being alergic to alcohol.
    every time he ingests the stuff ...he gets louder ...starts laughing and enjoying himself ...already ...it's looking like trouble.
    we can see it coming ...he can't ...and he'll drink till it is impossible to have one in his hand for whatever reason that may be.
    he spends the next week a grovelling apologetic wreck of a man ...he;ll work hard all week at his light engineering buisness.
    very honest and very capapble man.
    he's becoming a lonely and isolated figure over the last five years.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    How do you know when someone is starting to become dependent on alcohol?
    I've mentioned it to her before bout the dangers envolved, and alcoholic-ness, but understandly she didn't talk to me in a while.

    It depends. As debated in the other thread, there's differences. Some people may need a drink everyday as a way of coping with their problems, they'll get used to this as a way of coping. They'll get themselves into a routine and it'll get to the stage where they'll even be afraid to go a day without drinking because they don't know what they might face. Sad but true.

    As for physical addiction, I asked bong this once and he said about 10 years of daily drinking for this to happen. So I think your mates a long way of that. Physical addiction is particularly nasty, if you just decide to quit and don't do it properly you'll die. Mad stuff.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Ok, thankyou for clearing the difference in the two.

    I don't think she's depedent on it, but she is in the pub most evenings for a few hours, she won't admit it sometimes, but I'm mates with the bar tender guy.

    Sometimes she'll say that she's going though, infact most of the time she does.

    Just don't want people to think I'm sticking my oar in, I'm just worried.
    it's nice that there are people who worry abut us ...believe me.
    the bar lifestyle could be and i'd put money on it ... the attraction.
    but has to be fueled on alcohol ...even if sometimes and maybe even fairly often ...she doesn't crawl home.
    this lifestyle has to be funded ...thats where a problem often usualy appears but ...rather than spend less to ease the problem?
    a problem in a brain ...that goes into an act od denial ...what problem?

    money then ...that should be going on rent or laundry or food even ...think about that ...problems are surfacing ...and your still going to the pub and would even spend ...the food budget or part of it ...on going to the pub.
    your drug before your health and financial well being ...is a problem.
    another problem that soon fo;;ows are relationship ones ...notice the plural ...alcohol is the fuel that keeps the problems growing ... and even multiplying. drink tea instead ...and all the problems generaly get resolved.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Yeah, I've been worried about her for a while, but thought it was all in my mind for a while. She means a lot to me, and I want to help, but I'm kinda waiting for her to accept if that makes sense.

    The funding is sometimes a problem, she sometimes asks me to buy her top ups etc, which I know isn't a lot of money, but when you're a skint student, struggling to buy your own, it soon adds up, I don't mind doing it occassionally, but am scraping money as it is sometimes.

    Relationship problems sound bad, we've had a few scraps before, when she's been drunk mostly, but what appens when it gets worse?
    friendships fade ...into the past more rapidly ...thats how worse it can get ...and then somemore ...and this without what i call alcohilsm.

    another problem with addiction and drink drug related problems ...the person with the problem becomes a controlling factor in other peoples lives.
    other people end up sitting in the AnE ward listening to someone throwing up and sobbing ...other people ...you ...a source of funding ...your kindness is actualy helping toward the funding of what can well be the start of a destructive lifestyle ...and all without the ism itself.
    her bad choices now ...will maybe not control but certainly ...effect things in your relationship .from now on ...and get bigger...
    so she is deffinately not maybe ...a problem drinker ...it's effecting not only her life now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok. Thankyou. I've edited some posts. The irrational thoughts I have are bothering me bout leaving posts like that. I shouldn't have made them. Sorry.

    Thankyou for your advice. It is very appreciated.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Ok. Thankyou. I've edited some posts. The irrational thoughts I have are bothering me bout leaving posts like that. I shouldn't have made them. Sorry.

    Thankyou for your advice. It is very appreciated.
    i can assure you there was nowt wrong with your posts ...you asked fairly common questions thats all ...and if it's cos you care ...then whats up with that. :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was just trying to read through this, now it doesn't make any sense at all...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was just trying to read through this, now it doesn't make any sense at all...
    :lol:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i can assure you there was nowt wrong with your posts ...you asked fairly common questions thats all ...and if it's cos you care ...then whats up with that. :yes:
    OK, thankyou for the reassurance. Just acted on a very irritantional thought. Need to sort them out :( Think it's related to my OCD though. I dunno.

    Yes, I do care very much. I wouldn't've posted otherwise. Part of me still thinks I shouldn't've tbh.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I was just trying to read through this, now it doesn't make any sense at all...
    Sorry!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    . Part of me still thinks I shouldn't've tbh.
    you never know ...you might have leant summat.
    if not ...you might now at least be able to look at something with something of a wider view.
    caring and sharing and all that bollox ...trouble is ...it often works!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    your-babe wrote:
    Sorry!
    Well as long as you got what you needed then it's okay with me :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well as long as you got what you needed then it's okay with me :yes:
    i need a drink then bed ...kentish will be asking how many units i've had if he spots this.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    was there not a thread here along the same line as this one, made by the same person and then all the posts deleted?
    now thats a problem!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well there was and now theres this one and you made most of the replies in both. Is this a coincidence or Wtf?
    i do often get the feeling i'm repeating myself in here.
    nature of the place i spose.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well there was and now theres this one and you made most of the replies in both. Is this a coincidence or Wtf?
    did you figure anything out?
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