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Can't come?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A safer way than holding your breath or being strangled is to have him hang his head over the edge of the bed- the blood will rush to his head and make everything explosive- try it with you on top and him holding your hips to guide the speed and rhythm.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Butterflykisses wrote:
    Has anyone ever come across this before?
    Loads of times. The reason in my case is usually nerves. I get nervous about ejaculation, which has two possible effects (1) I bolt within seconds or (2) I can't cum full stop. Could be several reasons why it happens - medication, for instance. And yes, it ruins the experience. :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    . And yes, it ruins the experience. :(

    For you, or you think it ruins it for her? Because I was honestly fine about it, just didn't want him to be uncomfortable.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As far as I'm concerned, sex is about fun and intimacy - achieving ejaculation is only necessary if you're trying for a baby. While orgasms are a definite high-spot of the experience, they are only a bonus, sex is good without them.

    OTOH, despite having this view of my own experience, I do worry if I don't get the other person off.

    I doubt I would be too upset if I were ever to "bolt within seconds" - but then I'm usually ready to carry on as soon as my mind comes back to my body - I guess if you take a couple of hours to regenerate it would be a bit of a mood killer, but there's still kissing, cuddling, stroking, licking...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Butterflykisses wrote:
    For you, or you think it ruins it for her? Because I was honestly fine about it, just didn't want him to be uncomfortable.
    Ruined for me, definitely, ruined for her... well, she denied it, but she did later ask "don't I turn you on enough?". If a guy doesn't cum, I suspect the woman will wonder why.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Ruined for me, definitely, ruined for her... well, she denied it, but she did later ask "don't I turn you on enough?". If a guy doesn't cum, I suspect the woman will wonder why.

    Eh but it happens. Happens more often than you'd probably expect. I dont think much of it. Different factors in it, I know if its too warm my guy can't finish, or you just have too much fun and get really worn out, or you just had sex not to long ago and after a while you realize your buddies aren't ready to cum again, your just too tired, the day was more stressful than you thought making it more difficult to finish, sometimes things just dont come. Its never been a ruined or ackward or i feel bad becasue i'm not good enough to make a man cum experience, it just happens, as long as you both had fun.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    Eh but it happens. Happens more often than you'd probably expect. I dont think much of it. Different factors in it, I know if its too warm my guy can't finish...
    Does that mean if it's a hot summer evening that he won't be able to finish?
    or you just have too much fun and get really worn out, or you just had sex not to long ago and after a while you realize your buddies aren't ready to cum again, sometimes things just dont come. Its never been a ruined or awkward or i feel bad becasue i'm not good enough to make a man cum experience, it just happens, as long as you both had fun.
    It was usually fun.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Does that mean if it's a hot summer evening that he won't be able to finish? .


    If its uncomfortably hot, probably, but thats why they invented air conditioners :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    If its uncomfortably hot, probably, but thats why they invented air conditioners :p
    Aimed at the testicular area... :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you build it, they will come...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my_name wrote:
    If you build it, they will come...
    I never thought about it like that before... :chin:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    katralla wrote:
    A safer way than holding your breath or being strangled is to have him hang his head over the edge of the bed- the blood will rush to his head and make everything explosive- try it with you on top and him holding your hips to guide the speed and rhythm.

    Didn't know that one, does it make the orgasm better as well if you don't have trouble coming?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Happened To Me Once Turned Out The Guy Was Inervous Is All He Hid It Pretty Well Tho,..just Wonderin Were U Talking To Him Since?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does It Work For Women
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes I've Spoken To Him Since; I Found I Was In Bed With Him Straight Afterwards So Not Talking To Him Would Have Been A Bit Cheeky. I haven't spoken to him about not being able to come though - it hasn't been enough of an issue. Just see what happens next time, eh?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just give it a chance- my friend's boyfriend was so nervous when they first got together that he could hardly get it up, just cos he thought she was so fantastic and was worried he'd not live up to expectations, so it was like his body decided not to take the risk!
    anyway, there are loads of other reasons too, and if you're not worried then not putting pressure on is probably the best option. but dont skirt around it if he brings it up- i cant make my boyfriend cum by giving him head, and for a while it upset me cos i thought i wasn't good enough, but we talked openly about what he liked and stuff, and i've learnt that its ok- cos he still loves it.
    sex isn't all about orgasms- the whole experience is making love (i suppose its easy for me to say- i probably cum 3 times for every one of my boyfriend's!) just keep at it, have a good time, try being sober cos its bound to make a difference, and i always fine me and my bf cum faster and better if we can really vocalise- if i can scream instead of a muffled gasp it makes everything more intense!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i've met a lad who is really special to me and we had sex for 1st time on fri nte and same thing happened. at 1st nothing was happening and then it was starting to happen when we got dressed again and was kissing. Mind he had been on painkillers all day and we got drunk and he said he was very nervous. when we did get round to doing it, it was amazing as many people have said not coming is a good thing in a way because you get to have sex for longer but it must drive the lad mental if he cant come. The lad was really cut up about what happened but i reassured him not to worry and i stil had an amazing night

    sauce xx
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