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Too fat for him?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel so pathetic writing about this, really its just about me letting off steam.
Im a 22 year old woman.
I have very low self esteem, you would never guess this about me because I'm quite jolly and talkative etc. I don't have trouble attracting men but when I do I just get all pathetic and runs to the hills, this is probably why none of my relationships last and I have one night stands then don't call the guy back.
There were two guys that I really liked, both were kinda friends and both have asked me out on several occasions. In the end the first one got sick of me turning him down and has a new girlfriend and I scared the second is gonna do the same while I'll miss out again because I'm scared. The thing is this one is really toned and into exercise...I'm the complete opposite. I'm a size 12 n not overweight but could definitely do with toning up and I'm really worried that he's just going to think 'what a slob!' I don't want him to think bad of me in this way, thus putting him off me forever.
Thank you for reading this far, I hope it makes sense I know its a bit of a jumble.
Im a 22 year old woman.
I have very low self esteem, you would never guess this about me because I'm quite jolly and talkative etc. I don't have trouble attracting men but when I do I just get all pathetic and runs to the hills, this is probably why none of my relationships last and I have one night stands then don't call the guy back.
There were two guys that I really liked, both were kinda friends and both have asked me out on several occasions. In the end the first one got sick of me turning him down and has a new girlfriend and I scared the second is gonna do the same while I'll miss out again because I'm scared. The thing is this one is really toned and into exercise...I'm the complete opposite. I'm a size 12 n not overweight but could definitely do with toning up and I'm really worried that he's just going to think 'what a slob!' I don't want him to think bad of me in this way, thus putting him off me forever.
Thank you for reading this far, I hope it makes sense I know its a bit of a jumble.
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Comments
And bear this in mind - do you think men can't wait to show off their bodies to women? Personally, I get very nervous before showing anyone my body. Thoughts go through my head like, "oh, am I muscular enough for her, does she like chest hair, will she laugh on me taking my boxers off" and so on. I suspect it's more than just me who gets these worries. Try and put your worries to one side, and you'll soon start having a lot of fun.
However if your not comfortable with the way you look there's no harm in getting some training in. Just for your own confidence.
I think the problem with it is that I really like him, and his opinion means more to me than the opinion of a random one night stand.
He's away at uni for the next few weeks so I think i'll use that as motivation, and maybe even a welcome home surprise!
Sorry taff.
Once you get into it the motivation comes easilly. It's just that first hurdle.
"walking the dog" as in.....
couldn't resist!
Thank you for you're advice all of you, especially since my first post was jibberish n hard to understand. Appreciate it! :yes:
Really? I here people say exercise gives you more energy but I dunno doesnt seem like it.
I'm lazy, its just my legs that I want to tone. I'm thinking running (obviously wearing a balaclava so no1 recognises me!)
Im a size 12 and nobody has ever accused me of being a slob.
I don't really see myself as a 12 though, i know I am because all my trousers are 12s a lot of my female friends are size 12 and I know how great they look but I feel slobby, can't describe it.
Are you the right weight for your height? If yes then you have nothing to worry about. Theres nothing wrong with toning up though and getting exercise as its all good for you.
It actually offends me when someone the same size as me or smaller thinks theres something wrong with their size, its as if they are passively telling me im fat. Thats my own esteem problems though.
I'm not sure what weight I am but im 5 foot 5, its not that I think i'm fat its just that i feel slobby n just not toned enough for him.
I'm definitely not saying that size 12 is fat but i'd say im a flabby legged size 12.
i think how easy they would snap :yippe:
If you're size 12 and not overweight then why worry? Forget about it. Most people don't bother toning up, plenty don't even find it vaguely desirable and girls can afford slight padding far better than men because of where it's concentrated (breasts, hips etc).
Which is every bit as offensive as calling someone a fat cunt.
I noticed you said "thinking", not "saying". Don't worry, no though police yet
I mean that people seem to think it's more acceptable to tell thin people to eat more than to tell fat people to eat less.
Food is bloody great.
On topic, body image is the problem, not your weight.
Also, if you think your friends look better, maybe they have a different dress style.
I'm a 10/12 and I too sometimes think argh flabby but then I think about these stick skinny girls (Paris and Nicole?) And my mind soon says "Im GLAD Im the size I am" I think its far more attractive having some curvs. I like to think so anyway. :yes:
So FORGET about it, stop focusing on your body, instead focus in having fun (which makes you come across as more confident) and in trusting that, if he's shown interest, its because he already likes you, you don't have to do any extra work to deserve him or anything.
If you want to work out a bit that's great, it'll give you more confidence and energy, it even helps improve your mood - but don't do it 'cause you feel you have to in order to be fancied, do it for yourself.
not really "complete opposite" then.
Anyway, he's interested in you as you are, and if you do get toned, he may no longer find you as attractive.