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Trouble meeting girls.....
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay, lets set the scene. I'm a guy of 21 and i've never had a serious relationship, and to be honest, i'm getting pretty sick of it. Now i'm not saying that i'm dying to find 'The One' and have kids and buy a house and live happily ever after. What i'm really just looking for is someone to share stuff with, someone to have a good time with etc and then take it from there. And believe me i'm not some sort of nerd who sits in front of his computer all day looking for the matrix or something! I consider myself decent looking, a good laugh, interesting, confident and all the rest of it. And i have been involved with alot girls before, it's just always ended prematurely with me either blowing it, or getting played (I can't stand the games!) or just incompatibility - but that's a whole other story.
Thing is, the real problem i'm having at the minute is actually meeting girls. All the old sources such as college have dried up these days. I work a 9-5 job in an office full of middle aged women, me and mates always go out to the same sort of 'local pub' places, because they all have girlfriends and no longer find the need to go out to pulling-type places and the rest of my time is spent just doing the sort of everyday stuff that we all do. So, my questions are:
1) What the hell would you do to increase your chances of meeting someone were you in my situation?
2) Since i'm well out of practice, anybody got any good icebreaking tips should i actually happen to see someone who takes my fancy in a pub or out shopping or something?
3) Any tips to tell if a girl is at all interested?
Any and all comments are appreciated, so please, if you have anything at all in mind, speak up...
Thanks!
Thing is, the real problem i'm having at the minute is actually meeting girls. All the old sources such as college have dried up these days. I work a 9-5 job in an office full of middle aged women, me and mates always go out to the same sort of 'local pub' places, because they all have girlfriends and no longer find the need to go out to pulling-type places and the rest of my time is spent just doing the sort of everyday stuff that we all do. So, my questions are:
1) What the hell would you do to increase your chances of meeting someone were you in my situation?
2) Since i'm well out of practice, anybody got any good icebreaking tips should i actually happen to see someone who takes my fancy in a pub or out shopping or something?
3) Any tips to tell if a girl is at all interested?
Any and all comments are appreciated, so please, if you have anything at all in mind, speak up...
Thanks!
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Comments
When it comes to meeting people, go do something, join a local club, join karate classes, join an art class, tehre must be something like that you are interested in, which will put you with people that have similar interests.
Tips on approaching girls? avoid cheesy chat up lines, be honest, be yourself, girls love that
Do you not meet girls through work/study or friends of friends? Parties?
Don't make it obvious you're looking for the 'the one' either. Play it cool.
For for tips to tell if a girl is interested...grooming is a main sign, playing with hair etc. Kicking/tapping of the foot in your direction is another.
There's also a thing called NLP - 'neuro-linguistic programming'. Basically, soppy talk. The theory is you start talking to someone you don't know, mouth off some poetic compliments and she's all yours. Bear in mind that's just the theory though
Hmm. I guess i didn't make it totally clear that i'm not hellbent on meeting someone just for the purpose of a long term relationship. I'm just looking for someone to have a bit of fun with and then see how it goes. I know that's how it all begins. Apart from that your advice is good. Just struggling to think of anything else i could get involved in club or interest wise that i'm not already.....
Like i say, i'm stuck in an office with old women 5 days of the week and my circle of friends is pretty much set in stone, so it just doesn't work like that for me. And i'm not neccesarily looking for the one. Just looking to have some fun and see how it goes. THe other stuff you mentioned is useful though. Thanks.....
My advice
1) Don't approach a girl thinking your going to pull her. Its too much pressure and women can smell desperation. All your doing is talking to someone new who happens to be hot, the more you do it the more natural you can be when talking to new people and you'll make a better impression. If you do pull ... bonus. Otherwise you've met someone new, had a flirt and a laugh.
2) Talk about your interests (not yours, hers and yours) its the easiest way to get a conversation going and gives you something in common eg love of music, films etc
3) People like spending time with people who make them feel good.
Whether romantically or just as mates. Just be yourself and have a laugh and girls will want to hang out with you.
Anyway I don't pretend to be a guru on the subject but the above works pretty well for me. Good luck :thumb:
Do you never go on buses? Do you never go to the supermarket? Are you never in tutorials at college? Not all that many people meet their partners in nightclubs or at work, you meet them in all sorts of weird and wonderful places.
Yeah, i was thinking myself that this might well have to be the way to go. Thanks your other advice, good stuff.....
You could be right. And yes, i do have quite a bit of confidence and can talk to girls, but telling some girl in a supermarket that she has good taste in breakfast cereal or something is a whole new game! That may well be the angle to work on...
Not something i do often, but cool story!
just today i was in my CAD lecture and this guy who sat next to me kept starting up conversation and i just kept giving one word answers! i just got nervous.. he was just my type too :impissed: he probably left thinking i was a right freak
when i like someone i never know what to say. i act sooo much differently to when im with friends or people i know
Click
Another thing: get your mates to help you out a bit! Like for once they'll join you at a club or somewhere more likely you could meet new girls, even if they're coupled up, they can have a boys-only night out or something once in a while I expect. Or they can even take their girlfriends too if they want, but the thing is to change the scenery a bit to your advantage now and then?
And thirdly - you probably don't do this since you sound like a pretty decent fella, but as someone mentioned before: when you do meet a girl, and you're chatting, please, please ask her about herself! I find it so off-putting when an interesting bloke rambles the whole night through and they haven't even asked you two questions about yourself... That's how an interesting bloke turns into a tiresome, boring, self-centered bloke... :yuck:
No other sources either liek the mate so fmates and stuff mentioned above.
Kermit - talking on bueses and Supermarkets actually works? I thought women would think your a weirdo if you tried in those places?
I know people have bad opinions of me on here but I am a decent guy and when I do talk girls I do ask them about themselves, their interests and all that. I never go on about myself.
Its just hard finding someone who isn't takne or is interested.
Gets me down.
I'm a bit of a mix when it comes to talking to completely new people (girls/women). If its just a case of meeting a new person in a friendly sence then i dont normally have a problem (once i get over my shyness), but if its a case of i like the women in question (in the wont mind a relationship with them sence) i find it hard to start up a converastion
She had mates, then dithed them all she said after she got with my mate, and some turned on her anyway and they left but now she is friends with others but I neversee them on nights out.
My other mates...guess what??? They are single to!
I am boned.
You forgot to mention actually listen to their answers. There's nothing worse than asking a girl something, and realising that she told you five minutes ago.
the music is so loud I can never hear them
Chatting people up in public places is just seen as weird!
I have talked to at least one girl on a bus before, but wasn't chatting them up.
You move away from the speakers.
I've had no problem with talking to people in clubs.
Yes. He was a bit of a gimp.
I don't think shouting at a girl makes a good impression...
I also think from what some of you have said that your putting too much pressure on yourselves. You can't start a conversation with someone on a bus or supermarket thinking that you'd like to go out with them! That aint gonna work because your going to be far to nervous. Your just being friendly, making small talk with a stranger. Try and build up your confidence first and try talking to a stranger who you have no interest in ... there wont be any pressure so you shouldn't get too nervous and then you can learn from that exchange.
Arghh its a hard one to explain but its all mindset. If your not approaching with the thought in your mind that you want to go out with someone then your not scared of rejection and therefore can relax and be yourself. Simple
I tried doing the social thing at my last work, I got my fingers badly burned......
I wish they would give a hint though. I mean a smile, a wink or something you know???