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Condom help
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I feel a bit stupid about this, seeing as i'm 25 and have been having sex for 8 months, but i've never used a condom (I came close once a few years back, but it ended in disaster).
But now, due to certain circumstances I have to (or go without sex). The trouble is I seem to have this "thing" about condoms, I hate them, the thought of using them etc. The last (and only) time i've tried to use one it was a bit of a mess, I ended up loosing my erection and just didn't want to even try again. Admitidly my girlfriend at the time was VERY unhelpful, she ended up leaving me because of it!
Anyway, I'm now with a girl who i've been sleeping with for 8 months (she's on the pill) and I want to use a condom, but I don't know what to do about this thing I have about them. I know how to put them on etc. it's really just a mental thing I need to get over. I just wondered if you guys had any suggestions? How can I fit in the putting it on into the whole process without disrupting what we're up to. If I have to stop everything and spend a couple of minutes putting it on i'm likely to lose my "state of arousal". Do you think it would be an idea to get used to putting them on before I try and use them for real, try using them on my own, if you know what I mean?
Any advice is much apprecitated, thanks!
But now, due to certain circumstances I have to (or go without sex). The trouble is I seem to have this "thing" about condoms, I hate them, the thought of using them etc. The last (and only) time i've tried to use one it was a bit of a mess, I ended up loosing my erection and just didn't want to even try again. Admitidly my girlfriend at the time was VERY unhelpful, she ended up leaving me because of it!
Anyway, I'm now with a girl who i've been sleeping with for 8 months (she's on the pill) and I want to use a condom, but I don't know what to do about this thing I have about them. I know how to put them on etc. it's really just a mental thing I need to get over. I just wondered if you guys had any suggestions? How can I fit in the putting it on into the whole process without disrupting what we're up to. If I have to stop everything and spend a couple of minutes putting it on i'm likely to lose my "state of arousal". Do you think it would be an idea to get used to putting them on before I try and use them for real, try using them on my own, if you know what I mean?
Any advice is much apprecitated, thanks!
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Comments
Yeah I guess so, but I would like to minimise it, rather than getting to the point where I need it and saying "hang on a minute love" and sitting there trying to get it on.
Yeah, I think it would, takes the pressure off a bit if she can't see me make a mess of things. Also if I start to loose it, I might have to "get myself going" again, i'm not sure she'd be happy seeing that!
also you need to get out of your head that you're going to 'make a mess of things'. just don't worry about it, there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to put one on.
Very true, but easier said then done. I need to take things one step at a time, so I guess trying it on my own would be a good idea.
My_name claims her partner can do it in 5 or 7 seconds :crazyeyes
It used to take me a long time, but I've since switched to a brand that suits me better, and I can get ready in around 20 seconds
eh? and wear it all day or summit?
I dont think finding it hard to put on is all that big a deal. Has never bothered me before, is kinda funny
Edited to add: surely its not a big deal if its with someone you have been with for 8 months coz you'll be comfortable with them?
lol, depends. If you are with someone you love and trust i dont think it is at all. from my experience anyway
But after you get used to them they become alot of fun. Just rip the packet open with your teeth, grab the teat and bring it down over your john-thomas and unroll it in one quick action. Takes about 5 seconds if you know what you are doing (biting open condom packets isn't reccomended but I do it anyways seeing as my girls are usually on the pill ).
To get accustomed try a 'royal' wank, that is, masterbate with a condom on. When it comes to your first test be open minded and with a possitive attitude - remember, your getting laid! Buy some WATER BASED lube if you feel you'll need it (condoms arn't great for sustained periods of sex or dry vaginas without lubrication).
Its worth all the hustle and bustle, if she ever has to stop taking her pill or if she misses one (plus they are not 100% effective anyway) it doesn't mean a lack of sex
Why make the situation into a big deal I say. Can be tricky little bastards so whats the problem. If you can't laugh about it together then you are obviously not very confortable with each other in a sexual way
You may find going from unprotected sex to condom feels different and maybe not as good (it isnt as good for us and a few others ive talked to) but its not bad or anything, I mean, its sex! what can be bad? hehehe
it only takes 10 seconds at most... ?
But on top of first time nerves, laughing when someone is struggling with a condom could be misinterpreted as laughing at rather than with.
Thats what I thought, I can do it in that, and I'm a chick. God forbid the ones with the 5 minute times ever try to be Dr's the pts would die before they could manage to get the gloves on
Going on that I assumed it would take a while again, to get and maintian an erection despite my nerves.
Anyway.....
I tried the "royal wank" and that seemed to work fine, was a little odd, but no problems.
I tried using one with my girlfriend, but I just wasn't working, nerves I suppose, I managed about 3 minutes of intercourse in total.
Tried again over the weekend and It was fine. I asked her to put it on for me, to which she said no (about the response I expected from her!!), but she did say she would "give me a hand" while I put it on. this seemed to help.
Have done it again since and things seem to be getting better. I must say though that it's just not as good as sex without a condom. Thankfully this is only a temporary thing, and it's still better than no sex at all!
btw. If my gf laughed while I was struggling to put it on, I would probably just go home.
:banghead:
You're right, sex is supposed to be fun, but my idea of fun is not being laughed at because I don't have much experience using condoms and am having trouble putting one on. If that's the other persons idea of fun, then fine I'll leave them to it and find someone else to have sex with.
but when you're in a long term relationship where you have both been tested and the girl is taking the pill, then you have to start using a condom, it's not as much fun.
I'm not saying there bad, and if I have to I will use them (like now for instance) but in my opinion it's just not as good.