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What do you do.....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
When you fancy someone?
Theres a girl at my swimming pool who I really fancy(a lifeguard)....my way is to go as far over the opposite side of the pool,avoid looking at her as much as possible and generally stay as far away as possible,mainly because she (or any other girl)would never ever give me a second glance let alone talk to me or want to be around or seen with me!!
I`d like to hear from the shy guys and gals and what they do.
Apologies if this is crap.Tell me and I`ll leave you alone to be happy.
Thanks for any replies.
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Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Leaf wrote:
    When you fancy someone?
    Theres a girl at my swimming pool who I really fancy(a lifeguard)....my way is to go as far over the opposite side of the pool,avoid looking at her as much as possible and generally stay as far away as possible,mainly because she (or any other girl)would never ever give me a second glance let alone talk to me or want to be around or seen with me!!
    I`d like to hear from the shy guys and gals and what they do.
    Apologies if this is crap.Tell me and I`ll leave you alone to be happy.
    Thanks for any replies.
    start drowning.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I post in the relationships forum ;)

    Seriously, I'm usually pretty upfront about things, and go for full on flirting. I'm not a shy person though, and only just saw that bit of your post so this is a bit useless I guess.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    start drowning.
    I see your strategy... she saves you... and ask for her phone number. :naughty:

    What I say is, go up to her, tell you like her, ask whether she'd like to go out for a drink or maybe to dinner. That works! ;)
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,014 I eat threads for breakfast
    The Leaf wrote:
    When you fancy someone?
    Theres a girl at my swimming pool who I really fancy(a lifeguard)....my way is to go as far over the opposite side of the pool,avoid looking at her as much as possible and generally stay as far away as possible,mainly because she (or any other girl)would never ever give me a second glance let alone talk to me or want to be around or seen with me!!
    I`d like to hear from the shy guys and gals and what they do.
    Apologies if this is crap.Tell me and I`ll leave you alone to be happy.
    Thanks for any replies.

    At the end of the day if you don't have the bottle to ask her out, your not going to have a chance. Have a couple of drinks and go ask her out, what have you got to lose?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    On a quiet day just start up a conversation with her like "bit dead in here today init" or tell her your interested in being a life guard and ask her to tell you what the trainings like.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yep, start talking to her. You don't have a chance unless you actually talk to her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks guys but unfortunately I have no self confidence,belief or anything so there is no way Im going to talk to or attempt to ask her out.
    Plus, I dont want to ruin her day(or self respect)by talking to her and embarrassing her by being seen having me approach.Shed be devastated!!Why settle for me when theres so much better she can have?
    Thanks for your replies though.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Leaf wrote:
    Thanks guys but unfortunately I have no self confidence,belief or anything so there is no way Im going to talk to or attempt to ask her out.
    Plus, I dont want to ruin her day(or self respect)by talking to her and embarrassing her by being seen having me approach.Shed be devastated!!Why settle for me when theres so much better she can have?
    Thanks for your replies though.

    I dont want to sound mean, but with an attitude like that you are not going to get a woman. The first thing you need to do is work on chaning that. Self pity is not an attractive quality. You need to work on and change your self prespective. You can do it yourself, you can get professional help for it. But from just that post it seems like that is what you need. TO help you in relationships and to help you in life. Once you can be happy yourself and see yourself for what you are, believe that you are something, that you are worthy of others people attention and affection, then you can move on.

    If you think your not worthy of even a moment of her time, then your not. If you think that you are, then your unstopable. Just believe in yourself. Know that you are a good person.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Leaf wrote:
    Thanks guys but unfortunately I have no self confidence,belief or anything so there is no way Im going to talk to or attempt to ask her out.
    Thanks for your replies though.
    Oh well. I'm sure she'll enjoy being with her next boyfriend. And that you'll enjoy seeing her with him, thinking "that could have been me". :rolleyes:

    Having no self-confidence has never stopped me from asking women out! Come on, put some effort into it!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm quite shy and indirect... But I try and flirt (badly haha)... Dropthe hint, be sweet ect
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't know why some people bother getting out of bed on a morning.

    look ...if your realy that ugly ...that useless ...go for a useless ugly bird.
    theres loads of 'em out there.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i don't know why some people bother getting out of bed on a morning.

    look ...if your realy that ugly ...that useless ...go for a useless ugly bird.
    theres loads of 'em out there.
    Naww.. I like being single. But thanks for the offer. ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Naww.. I like being single. But thanks for the offer. ;)
    it was not meant for you my dear!
  • Teh_GerbilTeh_Gerbil Stalin's Organist Posts: 13,327
    Im shy. And bad at life.

    Erm, I usually just start a conversation with them. And because of this, only ever end up as "freinds." God, its pisses me off. :lol: I am always the freind. Arg. ;////
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Go and ask her out, what have you got to lose? The worst she can do is say no and the best is you get with her so go for it.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,014 I eat threads for breakfast
    Shogun wrote:
    what have you got to lose?

    :yes:

    Exactly.

    I get knocked back by birds all the time (hard to believe I know ;)) but generally girls love a little confidence. Get some bottle, develop an attitude where you couldn't really give a fuck if you get knocked back and you'll be sorted. It's important to be able to take the piss out of yourself if you get rejected. That's it.

    It's easier than you think. Have a few bevvies and you'll find what you need to say will come much easier. :yes:

    One things for certain, if you don't put the effort in, you'll get fuck all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Leaf wrote:
    Thanks guys but unfortunately I have no self confidence,belief or anything so there is no way Im going to talk to or attempt to ask her out.
    Plus, I dont want to ruin her day(or self respect)by talking to her and embarrassing her by being seen having me approach.Shed be devastated!!Why settle for me when theres so much better she can have?
    Thanks for your replies though.


    Really, they should teach this kind of shit in schools so that people don't feel like this.

    What My Name said to you is true, you need to start getting self confidence. So the answer to your question of "what do you do when you fancy someone" is have some guts and self-belief and go talk to them.

    Or, if you like, you can continue standing as far away from them as possible and not get anywhere.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im really shy and would probably do the same thing youre doing! just try and get the courage to go talk to her! nothing horrifically bad will happen!!

    saying this, that is what i should be doing but i never do.. *sigh*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lot of people have problems with communicating.

    I know I do.

    Either you talk or you don't.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The situation has been resolved.I think shes either left or moved to work in another part of the leisure centre.Saying that she might be there tomorow...Hmm if only i wasnt such a coward. :crying:
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    Zella wrote:
    On a quiet day just start up a conversation with her like "bit dead in here today init" or tell her your interested in being a life guard and ask her to tell you what the trainings like.

    :yes: Great idea! You might also find it helpful to have a read of These articles on TheSite about asking someone out and Starting a conversation if you haven't already.

    You say you might not see her again - but there's always a chance and if not then who knows - your next potential date might be just around the corner :D

    Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well as she's a lifeguard you'd better keep what you have to say short and to the point. She's not going to want to be distracted from watching the water for too long in case Little Timmy sinks under the surface while she is passing the time of day with you!
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Boards Champion
    carrot12 wrote:
    Well as she's a lifeguard you'd better keep what you have to say short and to the point. She's not going to want to be distracted from watching the water for too long in case Little Timmy sinks under the surface while she is passing the time of day with you!

    That's a very good point - you don't want her to lose her job. So perhaps wait to catch her while she is swapping shift with someone, or just start off short and then build up to a longer conversation.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No worries,shes not there anymore.
    Oh well,I wouldnt have said anything anyway really and truthfully.
    So now Im just gonna stay as far away as possible from girls,not think about having them or even look at a girl I fancy.They just dont want anything to do with a guy like me as a boyfriend or friend at all.
    All the girls at school said i was a boring loser with no personality anyway so I just have to accept that they are right and that Im just meant to be alone.
    Shit happens.
    Thanks for trying to help everyone.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Leaf wrote:
    No worries,shes not there anymore.
    Oh well,I wouldnt have said anything anyway really and truthfully.
    So now Im just gonna stay as far away as possible from girls,not think about having them or even look at a girl I fancy.They just dont want anything to do with a guy like me as a boyfriend or friend at all.
    All the girls at school said i was a boring loser with no personality anyway so I just have to accept that they are right and that Im just meant to be alone.
    Shit happens.
    Thanks for trying to help everyone.
    Sorry to be harsh but you need to get a grip. Like someone said earlier if you think your a boring loser with no personality then you will be one and everyone else will think you're one. If you think you Lord love rocket then you will be, am no oil painting but I still get my fair share with a bit of confidence, a bit of humour a little bit of cheek. Yes I get a lot of the "friends" malarky from women aswell but I still manage to pull stunning birds aswell as the odd not so stunning one :-) . You need to sort your confidence out, whether professionally or what I don't know but it needs sorting otherwise you'll end up so depressed in time it'll be scary.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The Leaf wrote:
    All the girls at school said i was a boring loser with no personality anyway so I just have to accept that they are right and that Im just meant to be alone.

    You're wearing your depression like a note taped to your backside saying "KICK ME" - so don't be too surprised when people take the invitation to do just that. OK so you have no confidence with women because you have never had any success with them. We all know that success breeds confidence so start looking at the bigger picture and appreciate the areas of your life where you do have positive experiences. Don't let a modest record in one area of your life overshadow the others. Step back and take stock realistically and the picture will not appear so gloomy.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I saw her. She saw me. We saw each other for a while. Then i went over and stood next to her. She spoke to me. I spoke to her. It went from there.

    I generally follow that pattern, though the 5th and 6th sentences are interchangeable.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first step...just tell her frankly what you think about her... don't be too shy...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well,she was there today and yet again Im totally pissed off cause I have no bottle. :banghead:
    I just cant tell if she likes me though........when I was swimming she kept glancing at me for a while and looking but then when I had got changed and was waiting in the cafe she didnt give me a glance...
    I dont know whether its worth asking now Iv seen the reality of the situation and thought about the consequences if I did ask.What do I do if she said yes??!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh yeah.its made a lot harder that theres all the other male lifguards that she laughs with(it makes me nervous :confused: )and all the other swimmers as well and Id feel really stupid swimming over and trying to start a conversation....this hole Im digging keeps getting deeper and deeper doesnt it? :crying:
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