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Insults
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
would anyone put up with their partner insulting them frequently? or at all? (e.g. bf calling his gf stupid or a bitch or a slut... etc...)
and what would u do about it?
and what would u do about it?
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Comments
I wouldn't put up with it at all. I'd ditch him.
After during an argument people can insult more than usual just due to the fact that they are angry it doesn't mean they have no respect for you.
Also if it is constantly and for no real reason, I would say there is a lost of respect there...
I would probably let it pass few time to start with, but I wouldn't let it continue too long, it is a lost of respect.
I say let him know you don't like it and that you want him to stop, if he can't do the effort, which is not big, well maybe you should reconsider your relationship. At the end I don't think no-one like a relationship where your partner insult you all the time... Unless it is a fetish obviously...
"look at ya, u little nerdy worm gettin all worked up. I'm going to Ed/John's for a few beers so you sort out your nasty little temper. Love u egg"
Makes me feel like an eegit n then I realise I'm the one that has been stupid and lost it by shouting and name calling.
My ex and I would constantly verbally abuse each other, I think this is why I'm so aggressive with men I meet. It's not healthy.
By the way, to the orignial poster, if he's doing this on a regular basis, calling you bitch/whore etc then tell him to sort it out or you'll walk. Sounds like he's being a prick on purpose, without provokation.
If I had a boyfriend that did that constantly I would have to end things.
My current boyfriend will say things jokingly, but he'd never go further than that. You need to question a lads respect for you if thats how he treats you.
He did it in jest, but it really pissed me off.
i remember he did call me a bitch once about 3 years ago and i was so shocked i cried. he's not done it since.
we call each other names jokingly quite often, but if he ever properly insulted me we would fall out big stylee.
Is it causing you pain? Probably yes, especially if it is often and serious.
So should you put up with it or just hope that it stops? The answer is a resounding no.
As has already been said, relationships are about respecting each other and seeing each other as mutually important. Verbally insulting someone suggests the opposite.
Anyone who is experiencing this might want to challenge their partner if they haven't already and make it clear that you refuse to tolerate the insults. Sometimes this is all that it takes. On the other hand, they may respond by saying they are only joking and carry on, but if you make it clear to them it is upsetting you, then if they really care about you they will try their best to stop. Worst case scenario is that they descend into further insults and other unacceptable behaviours. If this is the case then there is help out there and you should never feel that there is no alternative to the relationship you are in.
This may all sound very serious-but I'm just trying to get across the point that verbal insults are a form of bullying and have the potential to do serious damage.
suppose it depends whether you are combining it with S&M or other wierd consentually-'abusive' sex play or not.
seriously though... dump the bastard; if he is doing that all the time for no reason, its just emotional abuse and you should not tolerate it imo.
that's what i used to say... then put up with it for 9months too long... maybe i should be grateful we broke up lol
i don't understand how anyone could put up with that.
yeh i can't see myself putting up with it but then i'm quite highly strung and would say something back. i guess if you didn't have the confidence, you wouldn't be able to think 'i can do better than this'.
On a more worrying level, I've heard both his brothers say outrageous things to their fiancees. His older brother often semi-jokingly tells his girlfriend that she is stupid, or is fat and needs to lose weight (she doesn't - I reckon she must only be a size 12), and whilst she can give as good as she gets, it can't be healthy. Similarly his younger brother used to constantly make little digs at his fiancee, just because she isn't the straight As at A-level Wunderkind that he is, and it would get to the point when she wouldn't like to answer questions in trivial pursuit or whatever for fear of sounded stupid. And what's worse is that she's actually 3 years older, so when he was teasing her for not being the sharpest knife in the box, she was coming up to finishing her degree course, whilst he was just an arrogant little schoolboy! But he's stopped doing that now, finally grown up a bit, which I'm so glad about, because I used to get worried about her: if you're always told you're thick, you're gonna start believing it, and she didn't have a huge amount of confidence in the first place.
they sure do. its like goin out with a person that has split personality.
Unless of course I was called a dirty slutt in bed
Why do you say that?