If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
abstinensce
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
Ok, so I can't spell, but I hope you know what I'm tlaking about.
When I was in 6th grade (12 or so years old) we had sex education. It was the only year we had sex edu. (I'm not saying this is everywhere in america, just in my small town) They taught us about the male and female reproductive organs. They taught us about the biological stuff. When it came to sex, they taught us one and only one thing. They taught us abstinence. They taught us sex was wrong until you are married. They taught it was very wrong. They never gave us one fucking piece of advice on safe sex. They diddn't teach us of condoms, they didn't teach of us birth control. Nothing. Only no sex. There were posters, a "club" everything. ALl about no sex. And they wonder. They serioucly wonder why a class of 300 people (so about 150 girls at least) are pregnant or mothers by the time they graduate. In my small class of graduates, the ones who hadn't dropped out before they did, I knew of over 30 girls who had babies or were pregnant by the time thy graduated highshchool (about the age of 18)
I took it upon myself be smart. I asked my mother and pretty much studied things online about birth control. Both for men and women. I was taught nothing in school. I know alot of people were, but I was not. I lived in a town where things will always be the way they always were. And I doubt that will ever change. 20 years from now they will only teach of abstinence.
I can guarantee you.
Another place of abstinence. AA. Alcoholics anonymous. It works for some. Probalby the same people that never had sex. I'm 20. I'm not even old enough to buy my own fucking alcohol and I've already been there. I'm not going to dis it that much. Apperantly my father was an alcoholic while my older brother was a baby. He decided to get help with he kept asking questions "is daddy sick again today?" And what do they teach there. No alcohol. Complete absincence from alcohol. Guess what, it doesn't work that way.
I grew up being taught and beliveing that alcohol was such a horrible thing. Even now, I can't drink withiout being ashamed of myself. When I was young, when I got "help" when I stil ldrink now. I'm always ashamed of myself. Because I was thaught and I believe that its a shameful horrible thing.
I extramly definatly belive, and I know that every person here will agree with me when I say that teaching children only about no sex as opposed to safe sex is wrong.
But for alot of other things that they say and teach for abstinence is wrong also. If I once taught at AA how to drink responsibly, taught how to do it within reason, maybe I would be alright. If I didn't grow up thinking it was horrible, so of course you do it becasue you think your a rebel, maybe I cxould have known how to do it alright. If I wasn't tuaght that sex was only bad and only to do when your marri4ed, mabye some things wouldn't have happened. Maybe if the two put together I could have learned not to get raped. Not to get pregnant from that, not to fuck my life up more and lose it... twice. Maybe if some people took one fucking ounce of reality, and thought to actually teach the truth, teach something useful things would be different.
Its not wrong to drink every once in a while. Its not wrong to have safe sex. Why don't they teach that? Why must my school have taught that sex is bad? Why must AA teach that you can never drink?
Abstinence is not the way. Responsiblity, thought, intelignece is the way.
I know that AA always teaches of no alcohol. And I know that most schools everywhere teach of safe sex, but not mine. That is why, my highschool had the highest teenage pregnancy rate of the entire state of Minnesota. And we were only a town of 20,000 people.
When I was in 6th grade (12 or so years old) we had sex education. It was the only year we had sex edu. (I'm not saying this is everywhere in america, just in my small town) They taught us about the male and female reproductive organs. They taught us about the biological stuff. When it came to sex, they taught us one and only one thing. They taught us abstinence. They taught us sex was wrong until you are married. They taught it was very wrong. They never gave us one fucking piece of advice on safe sex. They diddn't teach us of condoms, they didn't teach of us birth control. Nothing. Only no sex. There were posters, a "club" everything. ALl about no sex. And they wonder. They serioucly wonder why a class of 300 people (so about 150 girls at least) are pregnant or mothers by the time they graduate. In my small class of graduates, the ones who hadn't dropped out before they did, I knew of over 30 girls who had babies or were pregnant by the time thy graduated highshchool (about the age of 18)
I took it upon myself be smart. I asked my mother and pretty much studied things online about birth control. Both for men and women. I was taught nothing in school. I know alot of people were, but I was not. I lived in a town where things will always be the way they always were. And I doubt that will ever change. 20 years from now they will only teach of abstinence.
I can guarantee you.
Another place of abstinence. AA. Alcoholics anonymous. It works for some. Probalby the same people that never had sex. I'm 20. I'm not even old enough to buy my own fucking alcohol and I've already been there. I'm not going to dis it that much. Apperantly my father was an alcoholic while my older brother was a baby. He decided to get help with he kept asking questions "is daddy sick again today?" And what do they teach there. No alcohol. Complete absincence from alcohol. Guess what, it doesn't work that way.
I grew up being taught and beliveing that alcohol was such a horrible thing. Even now, I can't drink withiout being ashamed of myself. When I was young, when I got "help" when I stil ldrink now. I'm always ashamed of myself. Because I was thaught and I believe that its a shameful horrible thing.
I extramly definatly belive, and I know that every person here will agree with me when I say that teaching children only about no sex as opposed to safe sex is wrong.
But for alot of other things that they say and teach for abstinence is wrong also. If I once taught at AA how to drink responsibly, taught how to do it within reason, maybe I would be alright. If I didn't grow up thinking it was horrible, so of course you do it becasue you think your a rebel, maybe I cxould have known how to do it alright. If I wasn't tuaght that sex was only bad and only to do when your marri4ed, mabye some things wouldn't have happened. Maybe if the two put together I could have learned not to get raped. Not to get pregnant from that, not to fuck my life up more and lose it... twice. Maybe if some people took one fucking ounce of reality, and thought to actually teach the truth, teach something useful things would be different.
Its not wrong to drink every once in a while. Its not wrong to have safe sex. Why don't they teach that? Why must my school have taught that sex is bad? Why must AA teach that you can never drink?
Abstinence is not the way. Responsiblity, thought, intelignece is the way.
I know that AA always teaches of no alcohol. And I know that most schools everywhere teach of safe sex, but not mine. That is why, my highschool had the highest teenage pregnancy rate of the entire state of Minnesota. And we were only a town of 20,000 people.
0
Comments
I do agree that teaching just abstinence is ignoring the issue at hand. Not every child will not have sex and basically the government is not doing it's job. Although, is it even the government's job to teach the children about sex?
I taught myself, pretty much how you did, mum told me a few things but it's just not the same as being told in school =\
It's appaulling
I don't know whether I'm glad that somebodly else besides the whit trash place that I grew up learned that or frankly appauled like you. Tuesday, when my mother goes back to work, I hope she gets my email and I hope she puts some real thought into it. I know I'm just one of those little dorks who writes people when they are mad with something, but I never had and I don't know if she can or if she can't. But if one town can change their cirriculm to learn about the truth, rather than some far off dream that, frankly, not alot of people do, then I guess I'll be a little happier. And its not just about sex. Its about teaching truth, teaching something thats reachable. Teaching something that can actually work, teach and... I don't know, be doable for an average person. Maybe I've just had about 5 too many drinks, but maybe they shouldn't have taught that 0 is the winner. 0 sex, 0 drinks, 0 whatefver. Maybe they should teach what is reality. I feel as bad for you, pirate as I feel bad for myself and everybody else who has to go thru that abstinence system.
For an all-girls' Catholic school, they actually didn't harp on about abstinence very much. Had probably given up, since the school is in (what was?) the teen-pregnancy hotspot of the UK.
My parents were pretty open about sex and I could ask them any questions which was fortunate and when it came to drugs I taught myself.
In the UK there is no set sex-ed curriculum. There's a couple of things that they're not allowed to talk about, but apart from that the individual teachers make up their own curriculums with regards to sex ed. They have to find the information themselves and teach the class in whatever way they feel most comfortable with. It's ridiculous. However we did get sex ed a lot - starting at the age of 10-11 and then a block pretty much every year until 16-17 ish.
When I was 13 I stood up in front of my class and told my teacher she was wrong (can't remember what it was about - spermicidal condoms I think). Then I spoke with her after the class and pointed her in the direction of GOOD sex ed internet sites where she could get decent information to teach the class.
My plan for life is to work in a family planning clinic and teach sex ed in schools
Who says it's wrong to drink? is this an American thing? Getting pissed here is part of the culture
Once you go to AA, they tell you that even a sip is a no no, you could relapse.
Oh right, I thought people in general thought it was bad. Yes I think that's an AA policy and for some people it only takes a sip to relapse...I don't think alcohol and sex can be compared in this context. However, the odd bit of drink isn't too bad...even healthy in some cases but most people choose to get hammered, it's a social thing. Not an AA thing.
Abstinence for an alcoholic is the best way to avoid a relapse. Abstinence in sex is bad for everyone. Well most people.
What a great place to learn about it :crazyeyes
when i got to college, we had a sex awareness thingy (we must have been 17/18), and it was the most graphic thing i've ever seen. showing the effects of sti's etc. proper put me off my dinner. but if they showed that in secondarys, there would be a lot less pregnancies for sure. it scared the shit out of us.
I do see your point though my_name. Teaching responsibility instead of forbidding things. I general I agree its a better policy.
By the way, I went to a lay school and all the sex education we got was from an anglican minister who made us all write questions in a box and then he answered them out loud. We were about 13 years old. the questions and the answers were pretty lame really, learnt almost nothing.
Personally I think that telling children to abstain is disgusting.
"Sir, what's a blowjob?"
"Sir, what does 69'ing mean?"
"Sir, what's bondage?"
Fuck knows how he kept a straight face.
The best sex education i received was late night channel 5.
Drugs talks were even better.
"When you take LSD, anything can happen, including being chased by a giant wheatabix".
How I laughed.
The sex ed I received in school wasn't too bad, tbh...
we learnt the biology of it and that was about it
i remember once waiting to go into a teachers office and hearing a conversation that went
"i cant believe the fpa rang to see if we want them to give a contreception talk, were a catholic school what would everyone think"
probably they would think twice before having unprotected sex
Alot of America seems so insular...i bet it's the same sort of schools that refuse to teach evolution..
'well thats not what she said' etc
and writing in our tests about the big bang. 'didnt happen, god made it'
We did stuff on reasons why to have sex and why not to, but no tmuch on sex itself really and how it isn't all how its presented to be and stuff.
Our year did pretty ok but summat happened to the years below us coz they kept getting more and more people pregnant as school went on. Like no1 in our year had a babty but loads in ther year sbelow as they came up did, with suggestions that some of them were concieved in the disabled toilets at the school