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Cheating :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I have that disease where you cant stop cheating or something :(

    This is the second time I've done it now in 2 weeks :(

    Anyone else share my problem?

    Occasionally if the opportunity presents itself, although i don't go about chatting girls up. Don't really have a problem with it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with what everyone else is saying. you're a selfish twat and can never know what it feels like to be cheated on because you have a stoney heart that thinks of nothing but itself. you should count yourself lucky to have a girlfriend that loves you, but to be honest mate, you don't deserve her.

    and for the record, the being drunk excuse is the worst one in the book, closely followed by 'i was high', in fact thats worse. in fact lets just leave it at being intoxicated. everyone thay has ever done anything they feel ashamed of whilst under the influence has blamed it on that and everyone knows thats not the real reason.

    grow up, tell the truth

    i hope you live a sad and lonely existence


    Why not go FUCK YOURSELF HUH?

    Bitch.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why not go FUCK YOURSELF HUH?

    Bitch.
    Do you really expect people to say that what you did was ok?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nope not at all. I dont expect to be told I should live a sad, lonely existence. I dont think thats much to ask? Do you?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    STOP BEING A WHINY BITCH AND BE A MAN.

    Break up with her for HER sake, don't be with her because it's a cowardly and selfish of you to do. You are such a pussy.

    I'd hate for you to be my boyfriend, you've no backbone.

    You've spent more time convincing yourself what you did wasn't so bad as well as us rather than telling your girlfriend how much you want to make this work regardless.

    You are so weak, and I agree with everyone, you DO deserve a lonely existance. You can't cope with relationships, therefore you don't deserve anyone if you can't be a man and admit to yourself and your girlfriend she deserves better than you and ACT UPON IT.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    swallow your pride, and finish her - for her sake
    not just because you're too scared, as much as she'd hate it i think she'd rather hear it from you now, than someone else a few weeks/months down the line
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For fucks sake I don't know why I look at Relationships ... it always pisses me off.

    My poor brain - once could be written off as a mistake but twice probably says something. Either be a man and come clean or leave her. Simple as.

    For those of you with rather extreme opinions of what exactly should happen to this lad for cheating (and i think a fair few of you just saw the opportunity to flame and jumped on the good old thesite-band-wagon) - I cheated on a girl before ... should that condemn me to a life of lonelieness? Are most or all of you hoping that I'll be miserable? Well fuck you! I'm human and i made a mistake ... it happens. I really hate the extremist black and white view people have on here, PEOPLE MESS UP! :banghead:

    And as for the getting drunk thing, its no excuse but it is an explanation. I don't steal shopping trolleys when i'm sober, i don't hug all my friends and tell them i love them when i'm sober, i don't eat the rodney burgers they sell outside of liquid nightclub when i'm sober, i don't shout like a loon and act like a dickhead when sober ... people do very stupid thing when drunk!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why not go FUCK YOURSELF HUH?

    Bitch.

    well hopefully your girlfriend will dump you. You cannot speak to people like that.... here we go the real you comming out now!
    A COMPLETE PRICK.

    You'll be the only one having to go and fuck themselves when your gf realises what you are and no other girl will touch you. :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    twonk1 wrote:
    You cannot speak to people like that....

    That comment is a little ironic considering the rest of your post.

    Anyway I think there are already enough moral crusaders in this thread to be getting on with!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The first time it happened, you felt bad, and thought that'll never happen again.

    The second time it happened, you felt worse and realised it could happen again, and came to the conclusion that you didn't want it to happen again.

    You came here looking for advice and, perhaps, confession and absolution.

    You certainly didn't get the latter.

    Advice:
    Don't get yourself into that position again.

    Did you go drinking on your own, or with mates? If it was with mates, shame on them. If on your own, perhaps you should join a gym and go there instead of the pub?

    Now you know how open you are, you should be able to head-off any attacks against your chastity. It's easy to mention the girlfriend in passing. That should deter anyone who is out on the pull - as opposed to being sociale - but if not, and it happens a third time, you'll just have to stop talking to women.

    Penance:
    I really think you have to tell her. Flowers/chocolates/cuddly toy - at least two gifts, but you'll have to know what. I'd probably roll the two incidents into one, emphasise how you were missing her, and stupidly got drunk, and that you really love her. Expect her to blow up. Don't get defensive - you have fucked up; probably look to bow out early, you love her, you never meant to hurt her, but you being there isn't helping.

    If you don't hear from her in 3/4 days, send a card telling her you love her, and you are very sorry for hurting her, and you hope she can forgive you. If she can't, well, that's really sad - for both of you.

    I wish you the best of luck.





    Sheesh. Monogamists - what a bloody effort.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why not go FUCK YOURSELF HUH?

    Bitch.
    my ex cheated on me. he told me. i forgave him. he felt bad. then he did it again. didnt tell me. let the relationship run into the ground as it was obviously on his mind all the time but let me believe it was my fault the relationship failed. i later found out he'd cheated which hurt even more. if you dont tell her it will drive a rift between. she'll notice something's wrong and will blame herself as that's what girls do. it will only hurt her in the long run.
    Jon_UK wrote:
    I cheated on a girl before ... should that condemn me to a life of lonelieness?
    does that answer why im so bitter!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    does that answer why im so bitter!

    I'm sorry to hear that you've been cheated on but it is not the fault of the lad who started this thread. Taking it out on him doesn't help anyone. If you'd just said ...
    my ex cheated on me. he told me. i forgave him. he felt bad. then he did it again. didnt tell me. let the relationship run into the ground as it was obviously on his mind all the time but let me believe it was my fault the relationship failed. i later found out he'd cheated which hurt even more. if you dont tell her it will drive a rift between. she'll notice something's wrong and will blame herself as that's what girls do. it will only hurt her in the long run.

    from the start you would have made a much stronger point. I was not just referring to you in my earlier post ... lots of people have jumped down this guys throat and its just turned into a bit of a free for all. Hurling abuse at him doesn't help, advice or relating experiences like the one you did above does.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why not go FUCK YOURSELF HUH?

    Bitch.

    Perhaps you should fuck yourself instead of putting your cock into any old fanny.

    Personally I suspect you're just a trolling nobend, but there you go.

    I think you should tell your gf. She needs someone that has more intelligence than a damp and mouldy teabag.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thing is with cheating....they'll feel bad, and you'll forgive them and eventually temptation builds up again so they do it again....not always though.
    i'm not sure how i'd handle being cheated on, depends to the extent. But if it involved sex then he'd be out the door.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cheaters only tell their partners because they feel guilty, and they are far too cowardly to deal with the guilt by themselves.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just tell her damnit.

    My boyfriend stood me up on the Sunday. I was pissy about it. He had phone sex with my best mate on the tuesday, and arranged to meet her on the wednesday. I was there with her and some other mates. As we were leaving to go to registration she abruptly turned around and walked back towards tesco, and I got a phone call from him. I couldn't skip that lesson, and had to go back to school, but I think I knew something was going to happen, and I wish to god I'd skipped that lesson. That night he told me he loved me etc etc. The next day my mate was off with me, and when I finally got it out of her, "I kissed Kyle".

    Long story shorter, he told me he fingered her and went under her top. I had a massive go (at both of them) but agreed to meet him anyway, although I told him he couldn't expect the relationship to continue until I could trust him again. He turned up with flowers and chocolates, and I ended up back in the relationship the same day. Yes it took a while for me to trust him, but I'm glad he told me. If anything we've been stronger since then than we were before.

    You'd do better to tell her and give her a chance to think things over. If she loves you as much as you say, and you regret it as much as you say, she'll forgive you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kermit wrote:
    Cheaters only tell their partners because they feel guilty, and they are far too cowardly to deal with the guilt by themselves.

    srry, but i respect ur opinion, but i disagree

    i think its a coward who doesnt confess, because they don't want to face what might happen and they can't face the consequenses of their actions. I think guilt is a good thing, if you cheated and felt no guilt at all, you obviously couldnt give a damn about your partner.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    1983 wrote:
    Yes we do make mistakes. In YOUR case one mistake should be enough experience not to make it again, GAH. I wish I could punch you, like I did my ex when he cheated on me.

    You are SCUM. Seriously, a kiss, a secret text message to meet up. YOU DON'T DO THAT WHEN YOU'RE WITH SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. TWICE.

    Your logic seriously baffles me. How can you think you should be welcomed back in open arms? The mind boggles.

    But you're a cheater with a stupid mentality to relationships. You deserve every bit of emotional turmoil from this that you get. :thumb:
    could not have said it better myself :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tell her and let her decide whether she wants to stay in a relationship with you or not.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe the sex means nothing and they love them too much to lie to them.

    People who have one night stand type cheating are forgivable, people who cheat another relationship behind their current bf/gf are unforgivable to an extent.

    The other point is you can be in love with two people.

    I dont think you can love two people at once. Certainly you can heavily like two people at once, and get that confused with love. But love, i think that's a different matter altogether.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    I dont think you can love two people at once.
    I'm happy to accept that you can't love two people at once, but I firmly believe that some other people can love more than one person at once
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm happy to accept that you can't love two people at once, but I firmly believe that some other people can love more than one person at once

    Depends on your definition of love.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jesus, I thought that this was an information site, not an abuse site. I don't agree with what he has done at all but I think a lot of you went over the top.
    There are ways of getting your point across without having to resort to a large torrent of verbal abuse.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    maybe there are issues in your relationship that should be resolved, maybe there isn't enough passion in it for you, talk it over with your partner, and try and spice up your love life to keep you grounded and faithful.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    I've cheated before and it does make you feel guilty. Servers us right really.
    I wouldn't bother telling her unless you think she's going to fnd out from someone else.
    What she don't know won't hurt her and all that.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I have that disease where you cant stop cheating or something :(

    ?

    No you have no disease darling......you are just a pure wanker :mad:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Jon_UK wrote:
    For fucks sake I don't know why I look at Relationships ... it always pisses me off.


    :lol:

    I liked that :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mia16 wrote:
    i think its a coward who doesnt confess, because they don't want to face what might happen and they can't face the consequenses of their actions.

    If there's no way you will get caught, then all you do is hurt your partner by telling them.

    The guilt is penance for betraying their trust. You tell them to discharge your guilt, not to protect them from anything.

    You can love more than one person at once, but really you can only love one person as a lover at once. People who love their wives, but see them as sisters or best mates, still love their wives even if they're porking the secretary. But then, do they love the secretary? Not often.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Possibly, i've not loved two people at the same time, but every girl I have loved I love each one in a different way, there's no way to compare.



    This is a very good point and, I feel, a reason why you can love 2 (or more) different people at once. No two people are the same, no two relationships are the same.

    I only have one girlfriend (that takes up enough time in all honesty :) ) but if I met someone else and my new relationship didn't 'interfere' with the time I spend with my current girlfriend (or how I felt about her) Then I would have no hesitation on going for it and hopefully falling in love with new girl too. :thumb:
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