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Essential support for under 25s
Essential support for under 25s
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Of course you have more life experience! You're older, you will have had more interaction socially with people, had the opportunity to do things that you would not have done when you were younger. There's not that much difference between 20 and 21, although I'm defintely more grown up than I was a year ago. I was talking of the difference between the mind set and life experience of a 16/17 year old and a 21 year old, you must admit there is a huge margin.
At 16, I'd just completed my GCSEs and was starting my A Levels. At 21, I'm entering my last year of university, have travelled the world, had several relationships, friendships and bereavements. this has all contributed to the person I am today.
Saying that at such a young age you have the same life experience as someone who is 21 is totally misinformed in my opinion.
I agree with most of what you're saying, particularly as as you grow up you realise that you do get older and wiser, although at 16 you think you know everyone and NO ONE can tell you otherwise lol.
As for not loving him after 5 months, then I wont at all? I dont think thats so true, I care for him very deeply, and although I may not love him yet, we've been having a long distance relationship for the past 4 months, so it's harder. But we'll see what happens. At the end of the day, even if I never fall in love with him, it doesnt make it any less of a good experience and a nice relationship
I think in the coming months, spending time with him at uni will strengthen our relation ship and make me stronger. I'm still extremely wary about caring for people having been so badly hurt in the past and thats probably why it's taken me longer to admit my feelings to myself, if at all.
I get what your saying as i have been with my boyfriend for 2 and half years now but we split up for 3 months at the 2 year mark, his choice as he was very messed up as his brother died and my world fell apart and to even think of being with anyone else wasnt even any option, we are back together now and stronger than ever but had we not got back together and to go through all that again with someone new, i knew it would take a long time for me to say i love you again, as long as you do care for him thats fine, but to just be with someone who is safe and who says they love you is a dangerous game, what if someone came along and just swept you off your feet...... time is a great healer and you never know what is gonna happen.
Good luck babe x :thumb:
I first fell in love when i was 16.We made plans thought we would be together forever etc etc.Of course it never turned out that way.Regardless of the fact that he was the first person i fell in love with - it was love.
Ive now fallen in love again.Much faster than i did befor and with much greater intensity.Im older now [19] but despite all the strong feelings the thought of getting married or spending the rest of my life with my bloke hasnt come into the equation.Im enjoying spending time with my boyfriend and having all those glorius feelings. Im not at the stage in my life where it matters or not whether my boyfriend is "the one". Maybe he is but lets face it he probably isnt.
Ive experienced alot since i was 16 and theres no doubt in my mind life is going to change a great deal within the next 3 years. Does that make my love any less valid than it will in 3 years time? Is it not really love because i havent thought about spending the rest of my life with him? Have i rushed into things because i knew i loved him after only 2 months? No.
I may not have known all his little faults 2 months in but my heart told me something my head would only try to rationlise.
Anyone can feel love.Regardless of age or experience it can be just as real.
I liked the whole point you made but this stuck out more. At 15 me and my wife... wanted marraige, kids everything, at 19, although my wife loved me, I had a hard job just getting engaged to her. I wanted to be with her forever, she loved me but wanted her 'freedom' and was scared of commitment! So I left it up to her, and sure enough whilst she tried a mates wedding dress on, she turned round and said 'I want to get married' and so we did! So, I do beleive that when your young its like you want to rush it all, for it to be fairytale. When your adult, you just want to take it step by step, I guess subconciously you feel that if you rush to much and things go wrong, it hurts like hell. Its easier and less painful to take the chilled out route.
Oh dear. Well explain to this friend that, you like/love him but as a friend only. You enjoy his conversations and having someone there but you do not want or feel that it should go any further. does that help?