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the worst sex ever

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mine was with a girl i met one night in a bar. She was soooo gorgeous I was like "yes, you're coming home with me". Anyway, spent all night pressed up against a wall, she kissed really well. Thought "here we go, this is gonna be awesome". Got back to her mates house, talked for like 2 seconds and went upstairs. Well, without going into detail, she was just crap. i got part way through the deed and I just couldn't be bothered anymore...so I stopped. She asked why and I jsut madeup some shit about being up for like 24 hours and was tired. She was shite!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dwarfenegger wrote:
    Mine was with a girl i met one night in a bar. She was soooo gorgeous I was like "yes, you're coming home with me". Anyway, spent all night pressed up against a wall, she kissed really well. Thought "here we go, this is gonna be awesome". Got back to her mates house, talked for like 2 seconds and went upstairs. Well, without going into detail, she was just crap. i got part way through the deed and I just couldn't be bothered anymore...so I stopped. She asked why and I jsut madeup some shit about being up for like 24 hours and was tired. She was shite!



    Haha been in a very similar situation to that myself...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    theindiekid wrote:
    Well over 2 years ago...In a random field.
    Jobbie nettles you say?! Running from the farmer who caught us in the act?!
    Lets just say my ass was red...and not just from embaressment. :blush:
    Oh dear!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ,
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yesterday! :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I pulled some guy... back in his hotel room... during the deed, he kept saying to me 'talk to meee' in this babyish voice. To be fair, he wasn't doing too bad up until that point, but it just completely put me off.

    It makes me cringe even thinking about it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When we were shagging in a car in the middle of the night and i see some blokes faced pressed up against the window

    or when he knocked the handbrake off and we nearly ended up in the Clyde
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    With someone who was a selfish arrogant tit who believed that he was the david beckham of the bedroom world. It was like i was only surplus to requirements and he'd have been much happier if it was just him. :rolleyes: I think afterwards i was meant to have been laying there going "wow you were fab, i love you". Unfortunately 6 pints, an arrogant bastard and very boring sex later i'd already gone into the land of nod. Yup i fell asleep and missed the finale :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Worst SHAG

    I once tapped a bird, whose name I shall not mention to save her from ridicule, who would not suck me off or go on top. I mean what the fuck? It's like riding a tandem - you both put in equal effort. She just wanted to lie back, get licked out, and banged sensless. I'm kinda glad I came really quick - fuck her, she don't deserve no long thing
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Cancerous!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    taxi driver (mate of a mate) who was in and out and so crap I don't even count it!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    M12_GTO wrote:
    I once tapped a bird, whose name I shall not mention to save her from ridicule, who would not suck me off or go on top.

    Save her from ridicule?

    Don't lie. You've never been with a woman.
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    Dr PirateDr Pirate Posts: 8,303 Legendary Poster
    Kermit wrote:
    Save her from ridicule?

    Don't lie. You've never been with a woman.
    Quite owned.
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