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New here, am I a bi-male?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I apologize if I'm posting this in the wrong place. I'm also hoping I've found a legit place to openly discuss an issue that I have. If anyone can suggest a better place to post my question please let me know. As I have no one that I can talk with about this issue I'm trying to find answers on the net.
I'm a healthy 26 y.o. white male. Always considered myself a 100% heterosexual male. I will spare you all the detail, but I did have probably an extensiveamount of same-sex experience as a young teen. I don't consider it abuse as it was enjoyable and was with the best friend of my older brother. I did realize at a young age that I was different than most guys as my endowment was much larger than others. I grew-up being embarrassed by it. I am now afraid that somehow the teasing and embarrasment of this has an affect on me now. Though I live with my girl friend, and have a somewhat normal sexual relationship, I found out by accident that now I really like having other guys see, and play with my dick. The thrill and buzz I get from this has acutally become addicting. I have no interest in kissing a guy, or even doing the things that I think most bi or gay guys want to do with each other. I simply like dropping trou, letting them see it, touch it, and then bring me to orgasm. Does this mean I'm bi? Is this normal/common behaviour for a guy? Please, I don't want a bunch of smart-ass comments. I am looking for answers/solutions to this. I can provide more detail if wanted, but first I wanted to make sure I was posting this in correct place.
I'm a healthy 26 y.o. white male. Always considered myself a 100% heterosexual male. I will spare you all the detail, but I did have probably an extensiveamount of same-sex experience as a young teen. I don't consider it abuse as it was enjoyable and was with the best friend of my older brother. I did realize at a young age that I was different than most guys as my endowment was much larger than others. I grew-up being embarrassed by it. I am now afraid that somehow the teasing and embarrasment of this has an affect on me now. Though I live with my girl friend, and have a somewhat normal sexual relationship, I found out by accident that now I really like having other guys see, and play with my dick. The thrill and buzz I get from this has acutally become addicting. I have no interest in kissing a guy, or even doing the things that I think most bi or gay guys want to do with each other. I simply like dropping trou, letting them see it, touch it, and then bring me to orgasm. Does this mean I'm bi? Is this normal/common behaviour for a guy? Please, I don't want a bunch of smart-ass comments. I am looking for answers/solutions to this. I can provide more detail if wanted, but first I wanted to make sure I was posting this in correct place.
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Comments
You are cheating.
I know a lot of bi ladies who feel the same, but i really don't understand why! If i had sex with either a man or a woman whilst with my fiancee i would consider that to be cheating! Regardless of gender. Think how your girlfriend would feel! Does she even know that you have sexual feelings towards men? How would she react if she found out you let another man masterbate you? Chances are she wouldn't be happy!
Yep.
If you can't resist these "urges" whilst being with your girlfriend (I am guessing it's a relatively long term relationship..seeing as you cohabit) then you obviously aren't ready for a girlfriend at this time. If you want to maybe explore another sexual pathway, then do it when you are single. Please show your girlfriend some respect.
From a female bisexual perspective, i'm in a monogomous relationship and yes i do find women sexually attractive, but i'm monogomous and in love and i'd never cheat on my fiance. Ever. I just keep these feelings for fantasies, which can then lead to fantastic sex with my partner.
I agree with the others that its completely out of order for you to be acting out these desires while youre pretending to your girlfriend that youre being faithful, but I wouldnt say that it made you particularly bisexual. Saying that, bisexual doesnt necesarily mean you like boys and girls completely equally. You might be 70/30 bisexual in favour of women for example.
and i agree with the dominance quote.
I think you are close to the explanation that I've come to. You need to understand that for many years I have felt like a freak, embarrassed, insecure about my dick. Then suddenly, by accident, something happened that SURPRISE gave me the opposite feeling. It somehow filled a "need" that I have had for many years. I know it's hard to explain. It is probably more a thrill to me to see the excitment/acceptance of those who envy it, than the actual physical interaction. I really don't like the fact that I do it, but the "need" or desire to do it is unexplainable.
I'll use an example that many will understand. I have a very physical job and a hobby of mine is nutrition and physical endurance training. I am in very good physical condition and I always have people asking me how they can loose weight, get fit. I look at them and the answer is so simple; Quit eating so much and start exercising. My "need" is similar to their eating. They know they shouldn't do it, and don't even really feel good about doing it, but the desire is so strong they stay fat!
You don't, but there are probably some who do. It's all about "opinions". For whatever reason, my brain, or I, have not determined that what I'm doing is "cheating". With the strong comments I am getting here, I am taking a hard look at myself. Maybe I will come to that conclussion and maybe that will be the "pill" or the answer that I need.
I think your experiences as a young lad, have affected you more than you may like to admit.
I can understand what you are saying in a way, because I was an `ugly duckling` at school. I didnt really blossom till after id left, and going from having a lot of negative attention - ie, people calling me ugly, and nasty names, to then actually being considered attractive and having people actually wanting me, its so flattering to get that attention, and it can be hard to know how to deal with it and some people become very promiscuous as a result.
I admitted that I am re-evaluating myself. All of your comments have fostered that. But again, I wonder if there is some difference in the way it's viewed based on gender. You male or female?
You and I share some common thoughts. I admitted in one of my opening comments that I feel that I am addicted to this "rush" I am receiving. I have looked for someone, a therapist, that I can get help from. I have not been able to find someone that I feel is qualified, or would understand this. I guess I feel that I'm "different" than all the other "different" people. It is unfortunate, but right now this board is my therapist. That is another reason I asked in my opening statement for suggestions if there is another place I should be looking.
I've considered that, but it would not be productive. My girl already feels sexually inadequate. I do all that I can to make her feel better, but honestly sex with her is not that fullfilling. I've not had many partners, but none have really embrassed it. As a guy, it might be a little embarrassing, except that I'm kind of proud of it, that I've only had 3 female sexual partners. The first was when I was 15, and it was disasterous, another was a girl I had just out of high school, and then this girlfriend. I know most of you have already determined that I'm a pig, but actually in most regards I'm a pretty decent person. Any other suggestions?
That was actually pretty brilliant statment. I know I'm not gay, I've just never had an attraction to a guy. I figure if I'm bi I would of spent years drooling over guys. As a teen, and even now, i masturbate thinking of women, or women parts. Here's why I've never had a great session with a women.
#1, I was 15, she was much older, had a kid. I worked with her. It felt good, but I was young shy kid and she went to work the next day and told everyone we worked with how sore her pussy was from me. I was humiliated. We lived in very small, conservative town. Yes, my parents heard about it.
#2, She was virgin, would not even try oral. Was afraid of pregnancy (and I think moral issues) so she would not let me really fully penetrate her.
#3, My current Girl. We started out as best friends. Was awesome deal, she enjoyed outdoors just like I did. Lead to romance and sex. She is petite girl and basically acts afraid of it if she gives any attempt at oral. Deep or fast penetration hurts her. Maybe only a guy will understand this, but she totally controls the rythum of the sex. Never to deep, and never at all aggressive. I honestly have hard time cumming sometimes. It's O.K., but never earch shaking. Does that make sense?
No, I"m not gay, might be bi, or just a freak, help me decide.