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Would you think it's ok if I just snapped that you don't have a right to complain about it? I don't do that currently, as I know it's completely unfair, but if my current situation goes on for much longer (which it probably will) everntually I will do just that.
It simply makes me so mad that something that's one of the biggest parts in most (yes, MOST) people's lives, along with school/uni/work, family, friends etc is completely nonexistent in mine.
If you were to want a relationship, what type of partner would you be looking for?
If you did know, what would your answer be?
What sort of partner would you like?
How would they look? How would they sound? What qualitites would they have to have for you to enjoy being around them?
I began writing down everything I'm happy about every day. I tried to take that book with me everywhere I went. I didn't think it would have a big impact on my life, but I was proven wrong. Slowly, I started seeing more and more of the positive things in my life. I learned to appreciate the good, and gloss over the non-important bad stuff.
And after I was able to forget that I got a parking ticket and instead focus on the fact that x many people smiled at me, I felt much better about myself. Maybe it sounds insignificant, but I seriously wrote down everything that was good in one way or the other. Nothing bad at all is in that book!
I don't use the book anymore, but I have a much better memory for the pleasant things. I've been deathly afraid of speaking to blokes, and I have serious issues with looking at people/looking them in the eye, but now whenever I do either and nothing bad happens, I memorize it so that I can keep doing it. Every little thing is a step in the right direction. I know that if I refuse to give up and keep trying, I will gain the confidence I need in order to get what I want.
You do not seem to be very happy with yourself Zalbor, but if you are willing to make an effort to change it, I know that you will be able to. Once you have that confidence in yourself, you will be able to handle these feelings of being single better, and at the same time you will stand a better chance of finding somebody.
"If you can't leave the room, learn to live inside it."
I can't leave the room, that seems pretty clear. Until a few weeks back, and for a few months before that, I managed to convince myself I was ok with the whole thing, that I wasn't jealous of anyone etc. but that didn't last for long. It's hard to forget when I'm reminded of it by practically everything around me.
I don't think it's as simple as appreciating the rest of my life (if which I have almost no complaints anymore) because that didn't work. But as I don't want to snap like I described in a post above, I need to learn "how to live in the room"... Only I don't see how.
You can't be telling me this is "alright" and th at I "shouldn't be fighting it"! What am I to do??? :crying:
- do anything right now. or purposefully think of something else.
atm when i start thinking about stuff i don't want to be thinking about, i sort of distract myself with an ethical debate in my head on all the reasons why veganism is a good thing. (-sounds a little silly, but it works!) or go outside for a run or something.